The Warlock and the Prince

Merlin Fic: The Secret Diary of Arthur, Prince of Camelot, Soon To be...

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:07:58 GMT

Title: The Secret Diary of Arthur, Prince of Camelot, Soon To Be Crown Prince of Camelot, Later To Be King of Camelot
Summary: *points at title*
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First time, Angst, Humour, Spoilers for Season One
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Word Count: 4.023
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

All my thanks go to my lovely beta kelsrealm. She managed to kick me out of the funk I was in lately. She supported me, squeed with me… she is her usual awesome self.

The Secret Diary of Arthur, Prince of Camelot, Soon To Be Crown Prince of Camelot, Later To Be King of Camelot

Day 1

Stupid idea. Don’t think I will ever read this again. No matter what Gaius said, this will not provide any comfort whatsoever.
Life is boring. Camelot is boring. Knights training is boring. Hope there will be no attack on Camelot soon because knights are in awful shape.
Father executed yet another sorcerer. Note to self: Avoid Morgana for the rest of the day.

Father also invited famous (boring) singer. Avoid feast.

Stupid boy with ridiculous ears wanted to start a fight with me. Got him thrown in the dungeons. Had been the highlight of the day.

Day 2

Boring, boring, boring.

Managed to avoid Morgana, Father and singer. I think singer makes lovebird eyes at the King. Good luck with that.

Stupid boy, named Merlin (stupid name), got out of the dungeons. Is new apprentice of Gaius. Spent the whole day in the stocks, then started another fight with me. Obviously too stupid to live. Was fun, though. Didn’t throw him in the dungeons. Don’t have to; if he keeps this up he soon will be dead.

Day 3

Horrible day, not boring at all.

Singer turned out to be a witch and mother of executed sorcerer. Enchanted whole court and then tried to kill me. Got saved by Merlin, of all things. Stupid father made stupid Merlin my new manservant. Oh joy.
But, have to give him that, stupid boy wasn’t overjoyed himself. Maybe there is a brain in that stupid head.

Day 4

I stand corrected. New manservant has no brain at all. Sneezed on my breakfast. Day went downhill from there.

Father is excited because of upcoming tournament. Morgana is bitchy like hell lately. Avoided both of them at all cost.

Day 5

Told Merlin I need him for training for the tournament. Was real fun watching him stumble around. Beat him up a little. Not too much, because he actually managed to fight better than a few of my knights. Very embarrassing.

Father was out of his head due to excitement over tournament. Is getting on my nerves. Wonder what would happen when I won’t win. Probably would be send into exile.

Hate my life.

Day 6

First day of fighting is over. Was boring. No competition for me, except maybe Valiant. Merlin is right, he’s a creep.

Speaking of Merlin… he is the most awful manservant I ever had. Will probably get rid of him soon. Although he is entertaining. Sometimes.

Morgana is behaving strangely around Valiant. Can’t understand what she sees in the asshole. She did look mighty fine tonight, though. Not that I care.

Day 9

Hadn’t had time to write the last days.

Valiant was using magic shield. Merlin was right, and I still sacked him. Stupid move. Managed to kill Valiant because he lost control over shield. Morgana is bitching as always. Rehired Merlin.

Wonder if father will ever manage to apologize. Probably not.

Day 10

Miracles do happen. Merlin managed to serve me breakfast for the first time without spilling, sneezing, coughing. Is still calling me Arthur instead of Sire. Who cares.
Would still be nice if he would be so kind to clean my room properly. Wonder what he does the whole day?

Got a new wannabe knight, Gawain. Wonder if he is yet 16 years old? Will not make it. I already hear the whining of the maids, he’s very popular.

My life still sucks.

Day 12

Was too bored to write anything yesterday.

Gawain actually made knighthood today. By running away from me the whole time. Interesting strategy. Need to make new rules to prevent that from happening again in the future. Maids are very excited.

Merlin joined me for breakfast this morning. Without being asked. Was too stunned to yell at him. Otherwise I noticed he fed my dogs treats. Now dogs love him and ignore me.

Father is in an awful mood. Morgana is chipper, and only the Gods know why. I don’t and I don’t want to.

Day 13

Am very sure Morgana is making out with Gwen. Can’t think of another reason for her creepy good mood. Lovely image.

Got almost bitten by my favourite dog because I yelled at Merlin.

A few people got sick, very sick today. I hope Gaius comes up with a cure soon, otherwise father will go round the bend again.

Day 15

Last two days sucked. Many people are sick now, Gaius has no idea what it is, Father was screeching ‘Sorcery’ (of course). Had to search for signs of magic the whole day yesterday, and half of today. Noticed Gwen’s father got healthy again after getting sick, searched their rooms and found some magical bag. Had to throw Gwen in the dungeons.

Got slapped and stomped over by Morgana. Then Merlin lost his mind and accused himself of being a warlock (so stupid) in front of my father. Instead of being thankful for me rescuing him he stomped on my foot, too, and probably joined Morgana somewhere in a corner in the castle to curse me.

Tomorrow Gwen will be sentenced by the King. Don’t have to be a genius to know how that will turn out.

Need new boots.

Day 16

Awesome day. Killed monster living in the water reservoir. Thing poisoned the water, that’s why people got sick. Obviously a mighty witch did that. Heard Gaius murmur something about her. Father is in a spectacular bad mood after talking with Gaius.

Good news, Gwen is free again. Morgana was beside herself. Lucky girl, at least one of us gets some action.

Interesting aspect: I don’t think that mighty witch healed Gwen’s father. So who did that? But since my father has completely forgotten about it, I won’t bring it up again.

Merlin is suspiciously silent. Maybe he’s really in love with Gwen and has discovered she’s with Morgana. Poor guy. Though if I was Gwen, I would take Merlin. Morgana is insane.

Day 17

Was on a hunt today. Got nothing because Merlin is making noises like a pack of boars. Was still fun though. Starting to like the idiot.

Gawain is changing the maids like sheets. Wonder why they still all love him? It’s very frustrating. Very frustrating. I only have to look at my father to see what happens if one doesn’t get any sex. ~~Even Merlin is starting to look good lately.~~

Day 20

Life is boring again.

Father is waiting for Lord Bayard of Mercia to arrive tomorrow. Finally they have managed a peace treaty. Hope everything will go fine.

Searched for over an hour for that hilarious hat I will make Merlin wear tomorrow. Can’t wait to see his face.

Day 22

Maybe I should stop writing that my life is boring.

I don’t even know where to begin.

Merlin –again- proved he’s an idiot. No, not really. He saved my life again, dammit. Drank that cup of poison as if it was nothing. Wish he would stop doing things like that. Makes me feel weird.

Obviously it also makes me act weirdly. Disobeyed my father to get that Mortaeus flower to save Merlin’s life for a change. Met the meanest bitch/witch I’ve ever known. Got attacked by monster spiders. I hate spiders. Would have died a freakish death (eaten by spiders, Gods), if not for that ball of blue light. Wonder what that was about.

Came back to Camelot and was thrown in the dungeons BY MY FATHER! He also took the flower from me and almost destroyed it. For that, I could have… whatever. Managed to get it back.

Went down to Merlin and Gaius tonight. Had to see for myself Merlin is alright again. No idea why. He still looks awful; have to be easy on him the next days. More easy than usual. And that probably means he won’t have to do anything.

Day 23

Father and the people of Mercia still managed to sign the peace treaty. That means something, considering Lord Bayard spent the last three days in the dungeons. One would think the King should be in a good mood. One would be wrong. He’s even more ill-tempered than usual. Again, no idea why. I’m sure Gaius knows something but he won’t tell me.

Merlin was still very weak today. Made him take a bath in my chambers. Couldn’t stop staring at his back. Don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.

Day 26

Nothing happens. Life is… no, I won’t write this again.

Still, I wish I had Gawain’s life. Stumbled over him and two maids. He didn’t even blush.

Wonder if I will ever fall in love with someone.

Merlin is actually becoming good at being a servant. Won’t tell him of course. No need to get him excited. I really like to talk to him in the evening. He’s quite… well, not witty but fun.

Day 33

Lancelot.

This is all really fucked up. I would have given much for him to stay. Stupid rules. Wish I had seen him fighting the Griffin. Wish my father wasn’t so mulish.

On the other hand: The way Merlin looked at him made me nervous. Maybe Merlin is into guys? Makes me even more nervous.

Hope Gawain isn’t into guys. Wouldn’t be right for a knight to go for a… This is nonsense. Still, Gawain better keeps his grabby hands off Merlin. After all, Merlin in my manservant. Gawain can look for one of his own.

Will train the knights until they can’t move, starting tomorrow.

Day 34

Great. Can’t move myself anymore. Had to make Merlin wash my back.

Still, I’m sure the others are worse. Especially Gawain. Caught him talking to Merlin on the training field; set him up with Robert. Gawain will probably not move again for two days. Hard time for the maids.

Day 40

Writing in this book is getting on my nerves. My father is getting on my nerves. MORGANA is getting really on my nerves. Merlin is… no, he isn’t. I like him. I really like him. Dammit. How did that happen? I actually dreamt about him tonight. Can’t write what. Don’t even want to think about it.

Yesterday I caught Gawain again talking to Merlin. Thankfully the following training session has clued him in. He actually ran from Merlin afterwards. Was astonished that he still could run. Doubt that he will ever talk to my manservant again.

Merlin said I’m a bully. Whatever.

Day 44

Was scared out of my mind the last day. Morgana got so sick we all thought she was going to die. Thanks to this new physician, Edwin, she didn’t.

Creepy guy, but I think that’s not his fault. Has to be awful to live with a face like that.

Merlin seems to like him. But Merlin likes everyone.

I’m concerned about Gaius. I can’t understand my father and I hope Edwin will not accept his offer.

Day 45

Of course, Edwin accepted the offer. Just great. Now Merlin is disappointed in me because I can’t convince my father to keep Gaius. As if anyone is able to convince my father of something when he made his mind up. Me? Certainly not.

Shitty day.

Day 46

Whoa. Edwin was a sorcerer. Cursed my father. Father almost died.

Wonder who threw the battle axe that killed Edwin. No way Gaius did that. My father may accept things like that, I don’t. Again, very weird.
And how did my father get cured? I wonder why no one else is asking these questions. I would like to, but I have a very bad feeling about it. Better to keep my mouth shut and watch things closely.

Day 48

Merlin is bitching at me. He wants me to leave Gawain alone. He tells me Gawain is just a friend. I will believe that when hell freezes over. I worry a little though. I’m too obvious.

Day 54

Oh fuck. What was that? I still can’t really remember how the whole thing with Sophia went down. Way to make an idiot out of myself. My father is still grinning like a moron whenever he sees me.

For the life of me, I can’t understand what I saw in that girl. She was pretty, alright, but I don’t go for pretty right now.

And again, this whole thing is weird. I can’t believe Merlin managed to knock me out. But maybe he did it? Maybe he was jealous enough? Dream on, prat.

I had the strangest dream… me, drowning in an ice cold lake, Merlin saving me… and then we kissed on the beach. I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen.

Morgana outdid herself in bitching. Even my father looked a little stunned after listening to her.

Feel sorry for Merlin, he spent quite a few hours in the stocks the last days. Believe I made it up to him by letting him take another bath in my chambers. Even did wash his back. He looked a little freaked out. I think I’m still too obvious. I wanted to join him in the tub.

Note to self: Find new, secure hiding place for this book.

Day 56

I’m obsessing over my manservant. I can’t believe it.

I want to talk to someone about it, but with whom? Morgana? I would rather behead myself.

I kind of want my boring life back. Everything was nice and calm before he appeared in Camelot.

I never ever wanted to kiss another man in my whole life. But I want to kiss Merlin.

I think I will have to burn this book.

Day 62

BLOODY HELL. BLOOD FUCKING HELL!

I can’t believe Morgana can be so stupid. Insane, yes, but not stupid.

What’s the matter with those stupid druids? If I were a druid, I wouldn’t go to the market of Camelot, for God’s sake!

Lately, exile is looking good for me. My father is… I don’t even know what to call him. Wanting to kill a little boy.

Of course I had to get him out. Would have been in a shit hole of trouble if Merlin hadn’t decided to show up finally. Wonder what’s going on with him, he was not exactly overjoyed to save the little boy. Weird, weird, weird.

The whole thing was weird. I’m just glad it’s over and done with. Don’t want to see any of those creepy druids again in my life.

Day 63

Now I really wonder what’s up. Merlin is always there, the whole day. He even asked me, before dawn, if he could come on patrol with me.

He fell off the horse twice.

Had a meeting with my father about my upcoming birthday and the ceremony. Can’t wait to be Crown Prince. Father will be even more demanding afterwards.

Wonder if Merlin will get me something. I’m getting more stupid every day.

Day 64

Awesome day.

Knights are in good shape, finally. All the training lately paid off. Got a new sword and a very fine battle axe from them.

Morgana gave me a new leather coat, but not without bitching about the old one.

Father gave me nothing.

Best gift came from Merlin. A beautiful hunting falcon. No idea where he got it from, or how he could afford a trained falcon. Can’t wait to go on a hunt with it. What was even better was the way Merlin acted. Blushing, stuttering… I’m sure he likes me, too. Now I just have to get the dreaded ceremony behind me tomorrow, then I will try something.

Can’t wait.

Day 65

Great. Just great.

Owain is as good as dead.

Day 66

Too angry to write.
Owain is dead. Pellinor will be dead tomorrow. I want to rip this dark knight’s head off… and beat my father up.

Day 68

I don’t believe it!

After Pellinor died, I actually managed to issue a challenge on my own, just seconds before Gawain did. (And that would have been a disaster, in many ways.) And then my father made Gaius drug me and took on the fight himself.

I still wonder how Father survived this. As it turned out, this black Knight was some kind of ghost. So how could my father win?

On other news, I fucked things up with Merlin. Way to go, Crown Prince, yell at the man and threaten him with your sword.

I saw him leaving Camelot this afternoon and for hours I ~~angsted~~, ~~worried~~, wondered if he would come back. Fortunately, he did. Was very subdued the whole evening though. Dammit.

Day 70

Merlin is still not… well, I guess. Wish I could think of something to make him feel better.

Knights training was gloomy. We didn’t really train at all. Everyone was thinking about Pellinor and Owain.

I wish I could talk to my father about it but what sense would that make? He would only berate me for being too sentimental.

Fuck.

Day 71

Took Merlin and my new falcon on a hunt today. Good idea, very good idea.

The falcon is not only beautiful; it’s the best bird of prey I’ve ever seen. I thanked Merlin again for this present and finally got a smile in response. It’s ridiculous how happy that smile made me.

I’m afraid I’m falling for Merlin. And that is so not good. Wanting him, even having a tumble with him now and then… that would be alright. But I can’t risk falling in love with him. No way. But how can I stop this feeling?

I’m a complete moron.

Day 72

Merlin’s mother arrived today with bad news. Raiders are terrorizing their village. Merlin asked me to bring her to my father and I was stupidly glad to be able to help.

My father was… Gods. I wish Hunith had said sorcerers were in the village, then my father himself would have been on a horse in ten seconds.

Of course, Merlin left with her. I don’t even dare to think about what will happen to him. He can’t fight. He will die. I will never see him again.

No, forget that. I will follow them. Right now.

Day 78

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I’m too stupid to be alive.

I never was so jealous before. And I fucked everything up.

And things were so good before. I loved being with Merlin. I loved being away from Camelot. I even thought… I don’t know.

I wish someone would beat me up. How messed up am I to say such cruel and mean things to the person I – while he is mourning? Just because he may have been in love with this Will some day?

Merlin stood by me the whole time and how do I repay him?

No way do I believe Will had been a sorcerer, though. And that means something I can’t write down. A lot of things make sense now. Now I’m in the deepest shit imaginable. Because let’s face it, this feeling won’t go away. And it can’t be. Never.

I thought I hated my life before. Forget it.

Day 80

I thought I could avoid Merlin. I can’t. To the contrary, I seek him out.

I wonder why he’s still so nice to me. After what I did I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t.

I don’t want to know how I look lately. Gawain is throwing glances full of pity at me. Great.

Tomorrow we’ll go on a hunt. I will take a few knights with us, I can’t stand to be alone with Merlin right now.

Day 81

Another great day in my life.

And here I was, thinking I finally managed to hunt down something exciting. A unicorn. Merlin was all angsty and then pissed off at me. No wonder, I called him a girl.

Father was proud but at that time I couldn’t enjoy it anymore. Didn’t feel any better when Gaius told us with a voice full of doom about the curse.

Day 82

Merlin is still angry. So I got angry too and told him to hunt down that damned rat. If I go on like that, I could tell him ten times I’m in love with him, he wouldn’t believe it anyway.

Weird and real bad thing happened. The corn all over the realm died. Father and I are hoping it’s some kind of disease and Gaius will be able to cure it. Merlin is looking at me ominously. I don’t want to know.

Day 83

Now the water has vanished. It’s the work of sorcery, that much is clear.

Merlin mumbles on and on about the unicorn curse. Especially after we met that guy/sorcerer/whatever, Anhora. Keeper of the Unicorns, my ass.

If I believe in what Merlin is saying, I would have to kill myself. I can’t stand watching how much the people suffer.

Day 86

Thank to the Gods, it’s over.

I actually managed to do the right thing. And I think I have learned a few things on the way. About my pride, for example. And about my feelings for Merlin. This is the real thing, I know it. No matter that it can’t work out. At least not now.

Alone the thought of starting something romantically with Merlin makes my blood freeze. Merlin is far too open. My father would notice immediately. And the last thing I want is my father watching Merlin.

I still wish… no. I have to protect him.

I feel stupid.

Day 97

Leaving Camelot forever (with Merlin) seems to be a good idea.

My father has obviously lost his mind. First, he orders Gwen’s father killed (as if Tom had really anything evil to do with Tauren), then he throws Morgana in the dungeons over night. I talked for hours at my father to get her out again. Gods, I never saw her in such a mood before. I can’t even describe it.

I feel so sorry for Gwen, I really do. ~~Still I wonder why she has to sleep in Merlin’s bed.~~

As I said, exile is looking better and better every day.

Day 98

Gods.

I don’t even want to know what happened today at the grave of Morgana’s father.

Especially considering that Merlin wasn’t in Camelot the whole day.

I don’t want to know. I’m just glad they are all home now again, healthy.

Day 100

I noticed today that I started writing this book on the day I met Merlin. This feels strange. Like destiny.

By today, I’ve known him for one hundred days. Feels like years.

Gods, look at what I wrote. And I have the nerve to call Merlin a girl.

Day 110

Can’t remember much of what happened in the last days after I was bitten by that monster. Questing beast. I really think Father should listen more to what Gaius says.

I can remember some things, like a dream. Merlin yelling at me, my father carrying me, Morgana weeping, Gwen talking to me. Then I remember Merlin holding my head, stroking my hair?

I finally woke up yesterday night. My father was sitting by my side.

Dammit, everything hurts. I’m barely able to write.

Merlin just came in to see me. He gave me the strangest speech ever. Hell, I wish I could move. Something bad is going on, and I have no idea what, except the fact that Merlin is in the middle of it.

Gods, what he said… it sounded like good-bye.

Day 111

He came back to me. Thank you, Gods. He’s back.

And for the life of me, I couldn’t have resisted him. While I’m writing this, he’s asleep right beside me.

I have no idea how we will manage the future. I don’t know what to do or say about his… well. I don’t know if I should ask him. I don’t know if I can tell him I’m in love with him. The only thing I do know is that I won’t let him leave again. Ever.

The End.

SQUEEEEEEEE!

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 18:01:07 GMT

The amazing glaringcandle made an ABSOULTELY AMAZING FANART for my story 'Behind the Shadow'!!!

Look and click it big:

Please visit her site, look at the other amazing art and tell her how awesome she is here!

Merlin Fic: Words Left Unsaid

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 22:48:09 GMT

Title: Words Left Unsaid
Summary: “Arthur was still sitting on his bed and was still staring at nothing, ignoring the tears running down his face. He had said quite a few things to Merlin over the last year, hadn’t he? But he had left out all the important words, for such stupid reasons like pride, arrogance, fear, shame.”
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Angst, Schmoop, Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: ~ 2.000 Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Author’s note: This is the most terrible piece of Schmoop I’ve ever written. But I have someone to blame: accioslash . This is all your fault.

My thanks go as always to my awesome beta kelsrealm . And no, this isn't the promised sex-against-wall story. :)

Words Left Unsaid

Arthur sat on his bed, staring straight ahead. His chambers looked as they usually did. Nothing had changed in the few hours he’d been on patrol this afternoon.

When he had ridden into the courtyard about one hour ago, nothing had seemed out of sorts. Merlin hadn’t been there to take care of his horse but that hadn’t been unusual. Arthur had dismounted, groaning because his body was still hurting from the fight with the dragon, and had sprinted up the stairs to meet with his father.

He hadn’t quite reached the open door to the courtroom when he had already heard his father talking to Gaius. He had stopped and listened for a moment and then Arthur’s entire world had been destroyed.

“At least it was a quick death, Gaius. I couldn’t have spared him, not even for you.”

“Sire, I didn’t know… but… I knew him. He wasn’t evil. He was just a boy.”

“They are always ‘just a boy’ or ‘just a girl’. You should know that better than anyone. I know you were close to him, and I’m sorry for your loss. But magic corrupts everyone, and I…”

Arthur couldn’t hear a word after that, only some strange whooshing sound. He had turned around and run, down one flight of stairs and up another, bursting through the door to Gaius’ rooms and ending up taking hold on Merlin’s bed, looking around breathless. No one had been there.

After that, things had gotten kind of blurry for the prince. He had searched everywhere, the market, the stables, the training fields. He hadn’t stopped once to talk to someone because he hadn’t wanted to hear it. As long as no one said the words, it wouldn’t be true.

Finally, he had ended up here in front of his own chambers, praying to Gods he didn’t really believe in anymore, and had opened the door. Merlin hadn’t been here either, neither now nor before. The prince’s rooms were untouched, the bed hadn’t been made, no fire had been lit. Arthur had sunk down on his bed and hadn’t moved one muscle since.

***

“You’re the worst manservant ever.”

“I need a servant I can trust.”

“Don’t be such a girl.”

“You know how dangerous magic is. You shouldn’t have kept this from me.”

“In the future, stick to what you do best: Nothing.”

“You’re not as big a fool as you look.”

“Since I’m a prince, we can’t be friends.”

“No man is worth your tears.”

Arthur was still sitting on his bed and was still staring at nothing, ignoring the tears running down his face. He had said quite a few things to Merlin over the last year, hadn’t he? But he had left out all the important words, for such stupid reasons like pride, arrogance, fear, shame.

“You make me laugh every day.”

“I don’t care if my bed isn’t made properly.”

“I love it when you come to me for help.”

“You’re my best friend.”

“Why don’t you tell me already? Don’t you know you can trust me?”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You scare me to death.”

“I’m afraid something will happen to you.”

“I’m in love with you.”

And now it was too late. Arthur crawled completely on his bed and hid his face and his tears in a pillow. ‘No man is worth your tears.’ Only yesterday… Gods, what a horrible thing to say.

***

Some time later, Arthur woke up to a rapping sound and silent swearing. He sat up quickly and then stared unbelievingly at his manservant, who was trying and failing to light a fire. Opening his mouth, the prince realized he couldn’t think of one thing to say. This had to be dream. If this was not a dream then…

With one last curse, Merlin lifted a hand, mumbled something and the flames were catching the wood. Clearly relieved, Merlin turned around, saw the prince watching him and froze on the spot.

“You’re awake?”

“You’re alive?”

“Huh? What are you… ooof!”

Maybe it wasn’t the most royal thing to do, but Arthur had to make sure his manservant was real. And if that ‘making sure’ included grabbing said manservant and pushing him up the next wall, so be it.

“Where have you been?”

Merlin stared at him, surprised and a little scared at the same time.

“Uh… the fire… I mean, the flintstone has obviously…”

“Forget the damn fire! Where have you been the whole day?”

“The whole… Arthur, it’s still two hours before dinner. I’m sorry I know I’m late with your room… but hey, you’ve been sleeping when I came here so…”

“Where were you before? I searched for you all over the place!”

Merlin dropped his eyes for a moment, then looked up again.

“I was with Gaius.” “Gaius was with my father! I heard them talking and…”

“What? Why didn’t you come in then? I was there while your father explained to Gaius why he just had to kill a 13 year old boy.”

Arthur stared at Merlin, then asked quietly, “what boy?”

“George. A stable boy. I don’t think you knew him. Thing is, last winter his parents were killed and now his grandmother got sick and… well, what I’ve heard, he tried some spell. Didn’t work. One of your father’s knights overheard him, went in and killed him. By now, his grandmother is dead, too. A whole family snuffed out; successful day for your father,” Merlin spat full of defiance.

Arthur held himself back for a few seconds, because Merlin was sad and angry and this wasn’t really the right time… and then he gave up. He leaned forward, pushed Merlin with his whole body back against the wall and kissed him. For a short while, Merlin’s arms flailed around but soon they settled on Arthur’s back, clutching him tightly. His lips opened and Arthur felt the first hint of tongue between his own lips. The prince shuddered and wriggled even closer, moaning into the quickly deepening kiss.

After some life-altering-against-the-wall making out, Arthur felt Merlin’s hands on his shoulders, shoving him back a little. The prince, staring at his breathless and gobsmacked looking manservant, asked “What?”

“Arthur. Not that… I’m complaining, exactly. But… what are you doing?”

“Kissing you. Making love to you. I don’t care if you’re a warlock, I don’t care if you’re a man, I don’t care if you’re my servant. I won’t lose anymore time,” after every word Arthur put a kiss on Merlin’s face, “I’m. In. Love. With. You.”

This declaration got Arthur a tight embrace and some more truly awesome kissing. The prince slid his hands over Merlin’s back down onto his ass, hoisting him up slightly. Proving he was a genius, his manservant immediately understood and wrapped his legs around Arthur’s hips. And off they went, no matter they were still fully clothed, no matter they swayed around dangerously -especially when Merlin bit Arthur’s earlobe and the prince had trouble staying on his feet- no matter that the back of Arthur’s hands were badly scratched on the rough stone wall.

At exactly the moment, where Arthur couldn’t stand it anymore and thought frantically of a way to get Merlin on his bed without hurting one of them, there was a knock on the door and before one of the two men could do a thing, the door opened and Gwen came in.

For a second, nobody moved. There were quite a few emotions playing over Gwen’s face; surprise, shock, anger, disappointment and finally, disgust. She said, “I’m sorry, Sire,” turned around and slammed the door shut behind her. Shit.

“Oh shit, Arthur,” Merlin said, still clinging to him awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, I…”

“I don’t care about her, either,” Arthur said, turned around with Merlin on his arms and marched over to his bed. It was quite interesting, the things one stopped caring about when one thought he had lost everything and then suddenly got a second chance.

Arthur almost threw Merlin on the bed and went back to the door, locking it. He had no desire to see Gaius or -Gods- his father coming through that door in the next hours. After he turned around to the bed, an almost predatory smile appeared on his face. Merlin was eagerly getting naked; it certainly didn’t look like his manservant cared about anything himself. Arthur took a flying leap, tackling Merlin right into the mattress.

***

“So… you know I can do magic?”

“Yeah. I knew since this ass, the witchfinder accused Gaius. I’m not deaf, you know.”

“Why didn’t you…?”

“Say something? I was waiting… I was hoping you would tell me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. It was my fault… I just couldn’t speak to you without making bad jokes. Believe me, when I thought you dead… I remembered every one of them.”

“Arthur, that isn’t true. I was so often close to telling you but these last weeks… everything went pear-shaped. And I was so angry at your father, at Morgana, at Gaius… at the whole world, really. And you got somewhere in the middle of all that. I didn’t think I could trust anyone anymore. So I am sorry. Just… the last two days… I don’t know how I can…”

“Merlin? What is it?”

“Ah… it’s all a bit much, you know? All those people died… your knights, so many here at Camelot and then today… George, for nothing really. I know you said no man is worth…”

“No, please stop it! That is the most stupid thing I ever said in my whole life. I promise I won’t ever say it again. I was just… I don’t know… surprised? That you cried when that man died? I was wondering if you would cry when I… Gods, listen to me. Can I sound more pathetic?”

“He was my father.”

“What?”

“Gaius told me. And he told me to not speak about it. Especially not to you. Gaius was afraid your father would kill me when he would learn who my father is. Gods, this was so stupid. I was so stupid. I wanted to tell you… but… I didn’t trust myself anymore. I’ve made some real big mistakes lately. And somehow I have fallen in love with you, and then… when I saw you with Gwen, I wanted to stop loving you. I didn’t want to feel anything for you anymore. I… I don’t know, Arthur.”

“Merlin, I wish I had known. Gods, I wish… maybe I could have done something. I wouldn’t have said such stupid…”

“Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“If you would pass away… I wouldn’t cry. I would die with you. So do me a favour? Stay alive, okay. Just… stay alive. Promise me.”

“Merlin, I can’t… alright. I promise. I’ll stay alive, with you by my side.”

“I will be always at your side.”

***

At the break of dawn, the rising sun found in Camelot a nightmare-ridden king, a crying maid, a grieving old man planting flowers on a fresh grave and two men, prince and warlock, sleeping peacefully, bodies entwined – inseparable.

The End.

“The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.”

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Merlin Review 13x02

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 21:42:23 GMT

This time, I did a one-by-one review. I'm still not sure what to think, but... the slash lives on. :D

Now that is one pissed off dragon. This happens when you're alone too long... and look, it wants to kill Gwen. And it would have looked real stupid if Arthur had died from the fire. No Albion. *shakes head*

Erk. Het.

But of course there is ONE Dragon Lord left. *sighs*

I LOVE IT SO MUCH WHEN ARTHUR TELLS HIS FATHER TO FUCK OFF.

WHOA! Gaius is telling Merlin something? And the truth?

OH COME ON MERLIN!?!?! YOU JUST SAW ARTHUR DISOBEYING HIS FATHER, SURELY YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD TELL HIM THAT GUY IS YOUR FATHER? AS IF ARTHUR WOULD RAT YOU OUT. *grumbles*

But of course you can't be friends. UNGH.

PILLOW FIGHT. And wow, more naked bloody Arthur.

ANGST!!! DEAR LORD.

SICK ARTHUR!!! FEVERISH ARTHUR! UNCONSCIOUS ARTHUR!! *sighs happily*

OH WOW! MEN LIKE THIS LIVE IN CAVES? I NEED TO FIND SOME CAVES. (btw, he has already a certain doom aura. So not good.)

Poor Merlin. Angry father. AND OH YEAH, ARTHUR CALLING OUT FOR MERLIN IN A FEVER! *iz happy again*

GWEN IS GETTING ON MY NERVES. AND GAIUS? WTF? PLAYING MATCHMAKER?

I LIKE THOSE LOVELY CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MERLIN AND ARTHUR AT A FIRE PIT. LOVELY, REALLY.

THERE YOU GO MERLIN. FINALLY SOMEBODY IS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH: I'M YOUR SON. OH THE ANGST!

OKAY SHOW. YOU FORGOT TO TELL US THAT ARTHUR IS DEAF.

AND OBVIOUSLY ARTHUR IS ALWAYS SLEEPING THROUGH LIFE ALTERING CONVERSATIONS, BUT WAKES UP WHENEVER SOMEONE TRIES TO STEAL HIS BAG OR A TWIG IS BREAKING. (on the other hand, I'm thankful. So many plot bunnies)

"WHEN WE'RE FINISHED IN CAMELOT, I'LL TAKE YOU TO EALDOR"; MERLIN, THAT IS THE DEATH SENTENCE FOR YOUR FATHER. ALAS.

OMG. NOW THAT IS... I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD DIE SO SOON. HOLY SHIT. OH FUCK. NOW MERLIN IS TRAUMATIZED FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. SHIT.

O.O O.O O.O THAT ROAR! GUH!

COLIN, YOUR ACTING IS KILLING ME. AND WHERE HE FUCK IS ARTHUR? OH I FORGOT, ANOTHER LIFE ALTERING CONVERSATION, HE'S PROBABLY ASLEEP AGAIN. *sighs*

OH THERE HE IS. "CAMELOT IS DOOMED"; OKAY, ARTHUR DOESN'T KNOW. BUT MERLIN LOOKS LIKE HE WOULD LIKE TO KICK THE PRINCE WHERE IT HURTS.

AWWW. ARTHUR TELLING HIS FATHER OFF AGAIN. AND HEY UTHER, WHAT ABOUT GOING OUT THERE AND LET THE DRAGON HAVE WHAT IT WANTS? YOU?

OKAY GOOSEBUMPS. THE FIRST ROUND TABLE .

"NO MAN IS WORTH YOU TEARS." WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE DO SOME SORT OF 'HEADDESK' WITH ARTHUR? LIKE RIGHT NOW? You will so eat this words, if not in the Show then in one of my next stories. Just wait. Arse.

WOW. SOME SORT OF DECLARATION OF LOVE RIGHT AFTER THAT. I'M GETTING WHIPLASH.

WELL, WHEN THEY RODE OUT, CAMELOT LOOKS QUITE NORMAL.

I'M TELLING YOU, THE DRAGON IS GAY. I CAN TELL BY THE WAY IT FLIES. *nods*

O.O PISSED OFF GAY DRAGON AND FRIED KNIGHTS.

O.O ER... MERLIN, I KNOW MAGIC REVEAL AND ALL THAT, BUT AREN'T YOU WAITING A BIT LONG TO DO SOMETHING?

OH WOW. WITH THE ROARING AGAIN. LIFE ALTERING CONVERSATION. AND GUESS WHAT ARTHUR IS DOING? YEP. UNCONSCIOUS.

OH THANK YOU, GOD. MERLIN LET THE DRAGON LIVE. IT MAY BE AN ASS, BUT STILL... I LIKE HIM. :)

AND LOOK, ARTHUR WAKES UP AGAIN.

ER... ARTHUR? YOU'RE LAUGHING LIKE MY GAY BFF. *snorfles*

OH NOES. SHOW, WHY DON'T YOU GIVE US A FADE-OUT NOW? WHY DO I SEE GWEN IN THE DISTANCE?

OKAY, AT LEAST HE DIDN'T SAY IT BACK.

So overall, I like the last episode better, but I'm just glad that they didn't kill the slash. At all. *iz relieved*

Merlin Fic: Sorrow

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:45:41 GMT

Title: Sorrow
Summary: Merlin is breaking down, and Arthur is finally listening.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Angst, Romance, First Time, Coda for Episode 12x02, Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: R
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Word Count: 2.143
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.
Author’s note: This is Schmoop, folks.

My beta kelsrealm rocks. Just saying. :) All mistakes are my own.

Sorrow

“What’s going on with him, Gaius?”

“What do you mean, sire?”

Arthur lifted one eyebrow; Gaius did the same and as always, was much better at this. The prince sighed.

“Gaius, I’m not stupid. Merlin… I can’t even describe the mood he is in. Surely you have noticed?”

The old man didn’t answer.

“Come on! I would have thought him being proud and not… acting as if his best friend had died. Without his help we all would be dead by now.”

“Sire, maybe he has the feeling a friend did die. Morgana…”

Arthur lowered his head. “Morgana… this was my fault. I should have saved her.” He swallowed and continued, “do you think… Merlin. Do you think he blames me for this? I know he’s in love with her and I…”

Gaius interrupted him. “In love with her? What… ah Arthur, maybe you should really talk with him. I’m absolutely sure he doesn’t blame you; he blames himself.”

“But why? He did everything in his power to make things right. He almost died himself. And yes, I want to talk to him, that’s why I’m here. Do you know where he is?”

“No, he said he had something to do. I don’t know…”

The door opened and Merlin came in, his face white as a sheet. He looked so awful that both men, Arthur and Gaius, rushed over to him immediately, gripping his arms. Merlin actually wobbled; Arthur was sure he would go down if not for Gaius and himself. His manservant looked up at him with glazed eyes and then broke free from Gaius grip and swayed towards the prince.

“Arthur… I… it’s all my fault. I can’t seem to stop making wrong decisions. I’m dangerous, you have to stop me. I have to tell you…”

“MERLIN!”

Merlin jumped in Arthur’s arms and turned around to Gaius, who looked at him with a warning in his eyes.

“Gaius, I can’t do this anymore. I have to…”

“No. Merlin, no. Sire, listen, he is obviously not in his right mind. Let me take care of him and…”

“And what, Gaius? Make sure he shuts up? No. No more lies anymore… I want to know what’s going on. Come on, Merlin. We’re going…”

“To your father? Yes, maybe that’s for the best. I thought about going to Uther myself, but you should know first. But… everything I did was for you. Before today. And even today I… I thought…”

“Merlin, calm down. Whatever it is, you can tell me, alright? And we’re most certainly not going anywhere near my father, we’re going to my chambers.”

Ignoring Gaius’ protests, the prince left, dragging Merlin with him.

****

A few hours later, long after midnight, Arthur sat on his bed and stared at his manservant. Merlin was sitting on the rug before the fireplace, knees drawn up to his chest, arms around his legs, looking exhausted. No wonder. He had talked for hours, without glancing at Arthur once. Only now, he had stopped, still staring at his feet, his cheeks wet from tears.

Arthur tried to wrap his mind around what he had heard. As he had told Gaius, he wasn’t stupid. He had suspected for a while now that Merlin was able to work some magic; but he sure as hell had not expected this… this… most powerful warlock ever, destiny, dragon, druids, Mordred, old religion stuff. And as for Morgana… he had had suspicions too. Especially after what happened today; the whole potion story hadn’t been true, Arthur knew when Morgana lied. But her being responsible for killing everyone in Camelot? That couldn’t be true. Maybe Morgana had been after his father; that Arthur could believe. But the other people… no, never. Arthur was sure she had been tricked by that other sorceress, Morgause. But still… his manservant was a powerful warlock and his almost sister a witch. It was a little bit much to hear in one night. And on top of that, there was now a dragon, free to go wherever he liked, a dragon who had been imprisoned under the castle. All the things his father hadn’t told him… quite interesting. Arthur wondered what else he didn’t know.

The prince took a deep breath. All of it came down to one cause: The King. If his father had been honest, if he hadn’t been so possessed with his fear and hate about magic… none of this would have happened. Arthur knew it would make no sense to talk to his father; he would never change his mind. But maybe it was time for him, the next king, to make a stand. He wouldn’t be able to do this openly, but he had enough power to protect the ones he loved. And he would right now start with the person he loved most. Arthur stood up.

Merlin startled at his sudden motion, and watched Arthur out of red eyes as the prince walked over to the door, opening it. After a few quiet words with one of the guards, Arthur closed the door again and turned around to Merlin. By now, his manservant had stood up too, shivering badly.

“Arthur… I know I have no right to ask for a favour. But please, could you do it?”

“Do what?”

Merlin pointed to Arthur’s sword, lying carelessly thrown on the floor. “Just… please. I don’t want to be down there, in front of the crowd. Please.”

Arthur looked back and forth between his manservant and his sword, not getting it for a moment. All of a sudden, he understood and promptly felt sick to his stomach. Merlin thought… Gods in Heaven.

With three long strides, he was right in front of Merlin, drawing him into a tight embrace.

“Are you mad? Are you…? Do you think I would harm you?” Arthur grabbed Merlin’s shoulders and shoved him back; not too far, though. “Do you think I would let anyone hurt you? Ever? Merlin, maybe you haven’t noticed yet, but I would lay down my own life for you.”

“Haven’t you heard what I told you? Morgana? The dragon?”

“Oh, I’ve listened, alright. I don’t know, and neither do you, what really happened with Morgana. But I do know that if you haven’t done what you did, we would all be dead now. Morgana had obviously made a bargain with a dark sorceress. It’s on her head; and most probably on my father’s head, too. And for the dragon,” Arthur huffed, “do you remember what I was willing to do just to talk once with my mother? You set the dragon free to save your mother’s life. And since I’ve listened very well, I know that this beast had been able to back you into this corner because of me… and Gaius. So stop with this guilt shit, okay? There was nothing for you to do.”

“I could have talked to Morgana… a long time ago. Maybe she wouldn’t have…”

“Yes, maybe. And maybe not. Maybe she would have tried to use you… or even betrayed you. You can’t know that, neither can I. Who can…” Arthur was interrupted by a knock on the door which made Merlin freeze again all over. “Would you please stop that, Merlin? Relax.”

Arthur released his manservant saying, ‘enter.” In the next moment, the prince’s chambers were swarming with servants. A few dragged a giant tub in, filling it with hot water while others dished out food and plates on the table. Minutes later, all of them had left again. Arthur was satisfied, especially when he saw his manservant’s stunned looking face.

“Arthur? What… what is this?”

“You really look like you should eat something. And a long hot bath won’t hurt either.”

“Arthur, there is a dragon out there!”

“Yes. And what do you want me to do right now?”

“Tell your father?”

“Tell him what? That the dragon has left the castle? A dragon he forgot to tell me about? I just bet it will be me and my knights against that thing sometime in the future. But right now? I’m gonna eat. And so will you.” Arthur shook his head. “You know, I’m sick and tired cleaning up behind the mess my father is responsible for. I lost ten knights today. And if not for you, I would have been dead, too. Again. Now, sit down and eat before you pass out.”

****

After they had eaten, Arthur had wrestled Merlin into the tub. It was a very large tub, and the prince was tempted to get in there, too. But he didn’t want to swamp Merlin… at least not too soon. Washing Merlin’s back, though… he could give it a try, couldn’t he?

The moment he picked up the sponge and started, Merlin turned around slightly and stared at him unbelievingly.

“What are you doing?”

“Washing your back.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to. Gods, Merlin, would you please relax? If your shoulders get any higher you’ll rip your ears off.”

Arthur dropped the sponge into the tub and laid his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, pushing them down. Once he got his hands on this skin, though, he couldn’t resist. He pressed his thumbs carefully into the muscles beside Merlin’s spine and was rewarded immediately by a startled moan from the other man. Arthur swallowed; he hadn’t thought Merlin would sound like that and he had surely not known how soft his skin was. That was just great; nothing had happened yet and he was already more than ready to jump Merlin. Arthur took a deep breath and stared down at the black hair before him. Merlin didn’t move a muscle and for a second, neither did Arthur. Then… he couldn’t resist. Again. He slowly slid one hand up into that beautiful hair and gripped it gently, drawing the head back until he could look into Merlin’s face. Oh yes. Merlin’s eyes were almost black with arousal, his face flushed, his mouth slightly open. And again, the prince couldn’t hold himself back. Taking one step to the side to get a better angle, he brought his mouth down onto those seductive lips and kissed Merlin, sliding his tongue against Merlin’s. Arthur still had a grip on the dark hair and with his right hand, he stroked down over Merlin’s chest, teasing a nipple for a moment and then went on until he could close his hand around the erection he could see quite nicely in the water. Merlin almost bucked him off and splashed Arthur with water all over; not that it mattered, because in the next moment the prince felt Merlin’s hand on his arms and a sudden tug and then Arthur went into the tub, head first.

“Oh, your clothes…” Merlin panted. “Sorry, I…”

“Shut up.”

And they were back at kissing frantically, while Merlin was trying to rip Arthur’s clothes off. The prince wished fervently that his manservant would succeed; he couldn’t help him because for the life of him, Arthur wasn’t able to stop touching Merlin.

“Arthur, Arthur…I… oh Gods!” Merlin threw his head back over the rim of the tub and groaned loudly; at the same time Arthur felt Merlin’s cock jerk and pulse, and that was it. Arthur went straight over with his manservant, shuddering all over and almost drowning the other man. And he still had his goddamn pants and boots on.

****

“What about Gwen?”

Bloody hell. Arthur should have known that Merlin would be a talker in bed… and wow, Arthur could think of much more important things than Gwen.

“What about her?”

“You’re in love with her.”

Now that did it. Arthur opened his eyes, stared at his obviously crazy lover and said, “WHAT?”

“The dragon told me. Remember that kiss in the tent? Kiss of true love? I…I’m not sure how I…why are you laughing?”

“The dragon told you? The dragon that lied to you, blackmailed you and pushed you around? That dragon? Seriously, Merlin. I had a crush on her. That crush died when the whole thing with Lancelot went down. I may have a soft spot for her, she’s a nice girl. But in love? Not on your life. I’m in love with you, you moron. And if I had known all it would take would have been to feed and bathe you… we could have been together for months.”

“But…”

“No buts. Go to sleep, Merlin. I just bet tomorrow will be awful. Dragon fighting the whole day. Oh one thing: I want you to move up here, in the servant’s room. From now on, we’ll be together in this. Don’t you dare leave my side for the next years.”

“Arthur? I love you, too.”

Arthur closed his eyes again, smiled and drew the man in his arms even closer.

“I know, Merlin. Believe me, I know.”

The End.

Merlin Fic: A Conversation

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:53:23 GMT

Title: A Conversation
Summary: A conversation between Merlin and Morgana
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Future!Fic, AU, Humour, Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur, Merlin, Morgana
Word Count: ~ 600
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.
Author’s notes: Complete and utter nonsense.

Thank you, kelsrealm , for being willing to beta even this piece of whatever. All mistakes are my own.

A Conversation

“And what if I don’t find him again?”

“Merlin…”

“No, I mean what if he’s already reborn and I can’t find him?”

“Eternity spent with you and your whining. I will have to kill you.”

“Morgana, could you please be serious for a moment?”

“For a moment? I’ve spent the last fifteen hundred years with you. Be glad I’m not too serious.”

“It’s your fault anyway.”

“Oh, here we go again.”

“It’s true. You and that snotty brat.”

“If you had talked to me, I wouldn’t have had to run away with those eww druids.”

“Eww druids?”

“They didn’t bathe.”

“Really? I didn’t… Morgana!”

“What? It makes more sense talking about the sanitary habits of those fucking druids than having a discussion with you about Mordred.”

“…”

“What? Still not used to that word? We’re living in the year 2009, Merlin. Get used to it.”

“I really thought he would be born in the year 2000.”

“Maybe he was born then. Be glad you don’t know yet. Or this time you would have to deal with a snotty brat.”

“I just would like to know.”

“Gods, I remember the conversations we had in the year 1000. Please tell me you won’t talk about this for the next 30 years.”

“I don’t know where to look for him.”

“Merlin, we are travelling all over the world, without sense, really. We should just sit in London and wait, I’m telling you. I hacked into every birth registry in every fucking country… if we go on like that, I will need glasses soon.”

“What if he’s already out there and Mordred has already found him?”

“HAH! What if Mordred is his lover in this life? Bwahahahahaha! What will you do then?”

“…!”

“You should know by now that it’s for nothing if you try to curse me. Save your magic for Mordred. I’m already looking forward to seeing his head explode.”

“Morgana, you should really stop watching Zombie movies.”

“Better than watching Highlander. I still sometimes think I should buy myself a sword.”

“This is frustrating. My life is frustrating. Everything…”

“Merlin, shut it! I actually shudder at the thought that you will find him and he won’t remember you. I hope you know you can’t just jump him. Er… by the way, what will you do if he isn’t gay?”

“Didn’t stop me the first time.”

“Now that’s true. Gods, do you remember when I stumbled over you?”

“You didn’t stumble over us; you burst into a room without knocking. And how could I forget? My right ear is still ringing.”

“I didn’t scream.”

“No, Arthur did.”

“You mean he shrieked like a girl.”

“Well, he was a little exposed.”

“I wouldn’t use the word ‘little’.”

“Me neither. Gods, I miss him. What if I don’t find him again?”

“And we’re back to the start. Do you know how frustrating it is to spend eternity with a gay man? And a gay man, who is in love with one guy and who thinks it’s cheating to have a little fun here and now, although his lover is dead?”

“Now why should that be frustrating for you?”

“I could watch.”

“Morgana!”

“You’re no fun. You never were.”

“Oh, look over there! That could be…”

“Huh. I don’t know… maybe. OH MY GOD! It’s him! I told you, I told you! New York is the place!”

“You said London. And now shut up. He’s already looking. I’m going over.”

“Remember, don’t jump hi… Merlin! MERLIN! Oh, fuck it.”

The End.

Merlin Fic: Behind the Shadow 2/2

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:14:32 GMT

The next two days were awful for Merlin. Nothing happened. Nothing. The single highlight had been Arthur breaking his sword while he had been trying to hack a hole in the stone wall.

Aneirin hadn’t appeared again; and Arthur had spoken exactly three words to Merlin in two days. On the first day, after they had both woken up, Merlin had asked what he wanted for breakfast. Arthur had answered, “I don’t care.” When the sorcerer had asked again after a few hours the prince had just shrugged.

Right now Merlin had stopped asking; he just had magicked food. Some things, like meat, cheese, bread and water were easy. Other things, like fruits, especially grapes, were bloody difficult to manage. But since Merlin knew how much Arthur loved grapes, he had tried again and again, until they had appeared. His very own, very futile peace offering. The prince had noticed how much Merlin had had to work for the grapes, of course. Alone the swearing had had to clue him in. But he hadn’t commented, and Merlin had just bit his lips and had said nothing. At least the prince had eaten them. That has to count for something, Merlin had thought, even is this had been an extremely pathetic thought.

Another thing beside the torches had appeared on their first morning here. At first Merlin had thought it some sort of very small well… but they had both soon learned that it was a latrine. It was a little higher than a chair and went straight down to the stone floor, on the out and inside. No matter what went in there, it had vanished at once. Of course, about a minute after they had found out this, Arthur had tried to wriggle himself into it, not answering Merlin’s question if the prince would like to vanish right into a magical dungheap. Arthur had actually managed to get in, and, to his disappointment and Merlin’s relief, nothing had happened. It hadn’t been quite so easy to get out afterwards, but since the prince hadn’t asked, Merlin hadn’t helped.

At the evening of their third day, when the torches had caught fire, Merlin had noticed that Arthur hadn’t eaten anything at all; he had just drank some water. Merlin had looked over to the other man and had seen that Arthur seemed to be pale. The sorcerer couldn’t be sure because Arthur had still been sitting at the furthest place from Merlin, on the opposite corner of their prison. Merlin had known that it wouldn’t get him an answer if he asked… and he had been so sick of hearing nothing than silence from the prince. So he hadn’t asked, just had lain down and turned his face to the wall.

***

Merlin woke up to someone coughing. Badly coughing. Gaius? He sat up, rubbed his face and looked around in the dark. For a moment, he didn’t know where he was. Then everything came back to him. Aneirin, the reveal of his magic, the last days, Arthur… Arthur! He turned around, lit the torches with one glance and saw the prince doubled over on the floor; coughing loudly and wheezing at the same time. He sounded and looked terrible.

At once, Merlin scrambled over to the other man, noticing that Arthur wasn’t only coughing, he was trembling all over. Merlin laid a hand on his forehead, already worrying. Gods, Arthur was burning up. Merlin damned himself for not asking a few hours before; how could he have been so stupid?

For a moment he just sat beside Arthur, petting his back and trying to think of something to do. His brain, as always when he was frightened, was empty. After some blank staring, he started to remember at least a few things. He had often enough accompanied Gaius when the old physician had treated patients; and Merlin knew a few things that had to be done with someone who had a fever running. Sadly, it was a small list. Keep him comfortable. Keep him warm. Cool him down, then get him warm again. Make him drink, as much as possible. Wait for Gaius and his medicine… shit.

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, listening to the wheezing sounds Arthur made. Then he opened them again, full of determination. After a flick of his hand, a bed appeared on the longer side of the stone wall. Merlin blinked a few times, confused. It looked awfully like his own bed. Whatever. Pillows, blankets, more blankets, towels, a tub… a tub? He had wanted a… ah, there was the bucket, more torches. Whoa, too many torches. There, that was…

“M… Merlin?” Arthur started coughing immediately.

Merlin looked down, dumbfounded.

“What, now you want to talk? Are you crazy? Shut up!”

With that, Merlin stood up and tried to get the prince on his feet, too. Not an easy task, because Arthur was heavy like a horse. Finally, with some help from the prince, Merlin managed to get the other man on the bed. He pulled Arthur’s boots off, followed by his red leather waistcoat and the already sweat-soaked tunic. Then he pushed Arthur down on the bed, and opened his pants, taking them off.

Merlin saw the shivering prince grasping one of the blankets. “Not yet,” he said, laying the blanket to the side and wetting one linen towel with the lukewarm water. Then he carefully washed the prince from head to toe and afterwards he rubbed him dry with another towel. Another flick of his wrist, and a white… night gown appeared. That was… Merlin didn’t care. He wrestled the overwhelmed looking prince into it and then threw every blanket over him as well.

Now what? Right, Arthur had to drink something. Merlin got a cup with fresh water, held the prince’s head up and actually managed to get the whole water into him before Arthur started coughing again. The hoarse, racking coughs worried Merlin immensely. He knew that he would need some nightshade if the cold linen packing didn’t get the fever down but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember what medicine Gaius used for a cough like that. Merlin could hear some sort of rattling sound in Arthur’s chest and he didn’t have to be a physician to know that this was not good at all.

While he looked down at the softly moaning man, Merlin wetted another towel and put it on Arthur’s forehead, stroking the sweat-matted hair back gently. The sorcerer felt totally out of his depth here. Oh, why hadn’t he listened more carefully when Gaius had been rambling on and on about various treatments. Of course Merlin knew a few healing spells; but right now he noticed that is was something completely different to try to heal a perfect stranger on the street or an already as good as dead Crown Prince, than to use any spell on an ill Arthur who was actually looking at him.

“Look, Arth… Sire…, you know what, forget that! Look, Arthur, I know a few healing spells but I have no idea if any of them work so we just need to try to get your fever down, you have to drink as much as possible… maybe I’ll try to get some tea? With honey? Er… chicken soup! I remember Gaius said chicken soup is good for any cough, sniffles, whatever. If I can make grapes, I so can make chicken soup! But you have to promise me you…” Merlin broke off when he saw the beginning of a smile on the other man’s face. Arthur might be still wheezing and sweating but here was a definite smile on his face. And no matter how scared Merlin was or how sick Arthur was, that smile made Merlin breathe freely for the first time since Aneirin had told the prince his secret. The relief was actually so big that Merlin’s knees became weak and he sat down hard beside Arthur, blinking away tears.

The prince looked now a bit worryingly at Merlin, but before he could say something, the sorcerer raised a finger.

“Oh no, be still! Do me a favour, Arthur, and just try to breathe carefully and rest.” Merlin saw the prince at once relax a little more; so, Arthur liked it when he rambled. Rambling he could do. And so he did. “I will try to conjure some of Gaius herbal tea. Don’t look like that, it’s drinkable, especially with lots of honey. Actually you can only drink it with honey. See, I need honey, too. And chicken soup. Did you see the tub before? When I don’t get your fever down, I will make it come back and throw you in. Oh, hey, do you remember when this crazy physician almost killed Morgana and then your father? Yes? It was me who healed your father. I had my hands on his ears! Believe me, I almost died because I was so afraid that…”

***

About twenty-four hours later, Merlin had long ago fallen silent. It didn’t matter anymore, Arthur couldn’t hear him. The prince was still breathing, barely. Nothing Merlin had tried had worked. By now, Merlin was sure that it had been actually himself who almost killed Arthur. In a desperate attempt to cool the prince’s body, he had indeed got the other man into a tub filled with cool water; Arthur had struggled weakly for awhile and then… he had lost consciousness. He hadn’t woken up again.

Merlin was sitting behind Arthur on the bed, the other man hoisted up against him. He was afraid when he laid Arthur flat on the bed, the prince would stop breathing completely. Nestling his right cheek against Arthur’s left, he whispered, “I’m so sorry. So sorry, Arthur. If you die here, it’s all my fault. You were right, I’m useless.” He huffed. “Do you know that the dragon told me it’s my destiny to protect you? Yes, I guess I told you that. I think I told you everything about me in the last hours. And now… I can’t even protect you from some sort of cough.”

Merlin fell quiet again for same time, rocking the prince slightly. He really didn’t know what do anymore. He had yelled for hours for Aneirin but the other warlock hadn’t appeared. Whether Aneirin had cursed Arthur with this sickness, or if it was just a simple cold that had become bad, Merlin didn’t know. He did know that there was one other chance… another thing to try. He could attempt to heal Arthur with magic… but he didn’t trust himself anymore. If he was that great warlock, then why hadn’t he been able to get them out of here? What would happen if the spell went wrong and he would kill Arthur? There was still hope, Arthur still breathed.

“I love you, you know that? No, you don’t. Even here I couldn’t tell you. I think that’s the reason why I never told you about my magic. I was afraid you’d send me away. Now I wish I had at least told you how I feel. I mean, I know… nothing can come out of this. I know you like women. But still, it isn’t so bad when someone loves you, is it? Even if it’s just me?”

Merlin closed his eyes, his cheek still against the prince’s, his right hand stroking softly through the blond hair.

“You would have been a great king, if I hadn’t been such an awful guardian. One thing; if you die I will follow. Maybe I can help in the afterlife?” Merlin sighed. “I wish I would dare to try and heal you with magic. But I don’t know if I can or if I will make things worse. I couldn’t stand up to Aneirin, no way. I’ve never met anyone so powerful. And if you became ill because of him I have no chance at all. I would probably kill you at once. Believe me, I….”

“Just try it.”

Merlin startled.

“Arthur?”

“Yeah. Either you kill me or you cure me. Both is…” Another coughing fit wrecked the body in Merlin’s arms, “… both is better than this.”

Merlin leaned side and forwards to look at the prince. Arthur’s eyes were glazed and feverish but the expression on his face was determined.

“Arthur, you’re awake.”

“Really?”

Merlin slid out from under Arthur’s body and propped him up on the pillows. Then he stood up and backed a few steps away. He stared for a few seconds at the prince who was again wheezing, and then raised his hand. Only to let it fall to his side again quickly.

“I can’t.”

“Do it.”

“Arthur, I can’t. What if I kill you? I would…”

“Merlin, you won’t kill me.”

“How do you know? You have no idea…”

“Hey, you told me hour after hour what a…” Coughing, strained wheezing breathing. “…what a great sorcerer you are. And more important… I trust you. I trust you. So… do it, please?”

Merlin stared again at the prince, and finally raised his hand again; and let it fall down a second time. Before Arthur could comment, Merlin shook his head. None of the spells from the book would work here, he just knew it. He had to try with his own, elementary magic. Merlin was a being of the old magic, and in a certain way, Arthur had been born by the old magic himself. So he just reached out for Arthur.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then a sudden wind blew through the room, tearing on the blankets and Arthur’s hair. My element, Air, Merlin thought dreamily. A second later, the many torches on the walls blazed with fire. Merlin could see the flames mirroring in the prince’s eyes. And here is Arthur’s. Fire. The last thing Merlin noticed was that Arthur sat up quickly, then darkness swallowed him.

***

Bloody hell. His head was hurting again.

On the other hand, he felt pretty cosy. Merlin opened his eyes slowly, got a glimpse at Arthur’s naked chest on which his head lay, and closed them immediately again. Better to stay unconscious for awhile and listen to the Arthur’s wonderful free breathing and to his heartbeat.

“Merlin?”

Ungh. “Yeah?”

“You did it. No idea how and it was the weirdest feeling ever, but you did it. I told you so.”

The last sentence was important, of course. It told Merlin that Arthur was healthy again and back in his usual mood. I told you so. Indeed.

“That’s good for you, Arthur. That you knew before, I mean.”

Merlin was feeling a little insecure right now. He was still lying on Arthur’s chest, his right arm flung over Arthur’s waist and the prince kept his right arm around Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin wasn’t sure if he should move or sit up or if he just should try to spend as much time here as he could.

“Another thing, Merlin… what I’ve said after Aneirin told me… you know? I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have… but I was really angry. I didn’t mean a thing. So please stop repeating this shit, okay? You are so not useless.”

For a few blessed innocent seconds, Merlin looked up at Arthur, smiling and not understanding at all. Then he remembered. The sorcerer drew back quickly, and if not for Arthur’s arm he would have fallen out of the bed.

“You were awake?”

“Yes. I know I should have said something, told you immediately. But… there was never the right time.”

“What is this, Arthur? Revenge?”

“No, not all.”

Saying that, Arthur drew Merlin right back, this time completely on top of the prince, and kissed him. Merlin’s brain made a few “wha? whu? huh?” noises, then it shut down.

***

“I think I love you, too.”

“You think?”

“I do. Love you, I mean.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know.”

“Arthur!”

“It’s true. I just know it hit me over the head the moment I thought you had betrayed me. It didn’t improve things exactly.”

“You don’t say.”

“Mhm.”

“Sleep, Arthur.”

***

“It seems like you have learned your lesson?”

“Aneirin!”

Both men tried to scramble out of the bed, stopping abruptly. None of them wanted to face the other warlock naked.

Aneirin smiled; again that gentle smile that had creeped Merlin out so much a few days ago. As the black clothed man stepped nearer, Merlin started to frown. There was something about… suddenly, Arthur stiffened beside him and sat up.

“Who are you?” the prince asked. “I know you… I’m sure I know you. Your smile…” And then Arthur’s eyes became big.

Aneirin smile deepened. “It seems, Prince Arthur, that your eyes are open now,” he said in his deep voice. “No longer blinded by hate and fear.”

“But… but that can’t be. Or… are you… his father?”

Merlin didn’t say a word; he didn’t dare. He had the feeling he understood, as unbelievable as it seemed to be. That man wasn’t his father. He was…

“No, I’m not his father. My name is Aneirin. Myrddin. Fili. Emrys. But all those names don’t mean anything to me. My real name is Merlin.”

Arthur stared, open mouthed. Merlin didn’t know if he should look or not, it was a little creepy. This guy was old. And white haired. And bearded. And… old.

But since Arthur seemed to have retreated into some kind of demented state of mind, Merlin had to say something, at least. He looked in the generally direction of his other self and asked the question that had to be asked.

“Why? Why all of this? Alright, I get the whole love thing. But I loved him before. So why?”

The old wizard stroked through his white beard for awhile which made Merlin immediately swear to himself that he would never grow a beard; it looked ridiculous.

All of a sudden, the other Merlin laughed.

“Remember, if you start meddling with things, you won’t be able to stop. But you already know this, I guess. And as old as you may become, this will never change. Alright, I will tell you a few things, as long as I can. Firstly, I told Prince Arthur you’re a warlock because there are dark times ahead of you. And I know, I had waited far too long to tell him. King Arthur will have you at his side, yes, as a counsel. But he will never completely trust you, not within his heart, because Prince Arthur couldn’t trust you. Now he does trust you, and you are both young enough to build something solid on this trust. Secondly, the love… I had never acted. I had never dared. And then, suddenly, it had been too late. Oh, an advice from me to you, Prince Arthur, now that you know who holds your heart. Do yourself and someone else beside your manservant a favour. Don’t marry. You won’t get an heir anyway.”

Arthur made a sound like a toad. Merlin on the other hand, noticed something strange. He leaned forward as much as he could and asked, “what’s happening with you?”

Aneirin –Merlin- Aneirin looked down at himself and smiled some more.

“It worked.”

“What do you mean? You’re… I can see through you!”

“And this is just as well. I will cease to exist. And that means, my work is almost done. Believe me, young warlock, I long for the darkness. But still, since I can’t seem to stop myself, more advice for you. Stop listening to the Dragon. Get the Sword back before someone else finds it. And stay away from every woman you see coming out of a lake! And for the sake of the Gods, don’t teach her anything! If you see that druid boy again, don’t hesitate, no matter what. You know what you have to do. And…” the old warlock’s voice became thinner and thinner, as did his appearance, “don’t you ever forget: No one is like you. No one can defeat you, as long as you don’t give them the means to do so.”

With that, Aneirin was gone.

***

Merlin and Arthur had just barely the chance to look at each other, when the stone walls, their bed and everything else vanished and they found themselves sitting on their arses in the woods, thankfully clothed.

Arthur opened his mouth and closed it again a few times; he looked like a fish. Before he could utter one word, Merlin jumped him. Best to not let him think too much, Merlin decided. A few seconds later, Arthur was clearly not thinking anything beside How can I drive my manservant wild in one minute? Maybe if I push him down in the weeds and lie on top of him? Merlin moaned and pondered with the last functioning part of his brain, what it had been his older self had said or done that made Arthur behave like this. The prince acted as he would like to eat him alive. This image brought another with it and Merlin just threw his head back and moaned a little louder while Arthur bit his neck. Just… please don’t let it be the beard.

Of course, the moment things got real interesting and Arthur wasn’t at eye level anymore, they both heard branches crackle behind them. They parted quickly but not quickly enough. Sir Gawain stared at them with an indescribable expression on his face. Arthur jumped to his feet, while Merlin tried to close his open shirt and pants and finally gave up and just drew his knees to his chest. Great. They were back for what? Ten minutes? And already somebody stumbled over them.

“Er… Gawain…”

Sir Gawain made weird, choppy movements with his right hand before his face.

“I have seen nothing, sire. Nothing at all.”

“We were just….”

“Yes. Yes, of course. You were hunting the boar. Did you get him… it! Did you get it?”

By now, both men were red-faced and Merlin hid his grin behind his knees. He liked Gawain.

“No! Er… how long…?”

“Maybe an hour, sire?”

“Alright. Maybe it’s best we’re going back to the castle. Lead the way to the others, Gawain, we will be following shortly.”

“Of course, Sire.”

After a little bow, Gawain almost ran away. Merlin looked up at Arthur and smiled broadly.

“An hour? And I’m almost naked and you’re perfectly dressed? You know what he will think? That you worshipped me for about an hour.”

“Shut up.”

***

Later at night, both of them were lying in Arthur’s bed which was so much more comfortable than the small bed in their prison. Arthur lay half on top of his manservant, and Merlin had his nose and mouth buried in his blond hair and just breathed him in.

“Arthur?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright with all this?”

“Mhm. Strangely I am.”

“Even with the… not marrying part? No heir part?”

Arthur sighed. “I kind of believed the whole ‘no heir part’. And it wouldn’t be fair to marry some woman anyway.” He leaned up on one elbow and kissed Merlin’s nose, at once smiling at Merlin’s grimace. “And as a wise man some day told me, I can do anything when I’m the King.” This got Arthur a heated kiss; but before things got more serious, the prince raised his head again and looked at the warlock for awhile.

“Merlin?”

“Hm?”

“You know, that beard…”

Merlin groaned.

The End.

Merlin Fic: Behind the Shadow 1/2

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:14:17 GMT

Title: Behind the Shadow
Summary: Merlin groaned; his head hurt like hell and there was an annoying voice, saying his name over and over again.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Action/Adventure, Angst, H/C, Humour, Minor Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 7.070
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.
Author’s notes: I can’t leave the Arthurian Legend alone. I just can’t.

My thanks go as always to my wonderful, amazing, patient, brilliant beta kelsrealm. All mistakes are my own.

Behind the Shadow

Merlin groaned; his head hurt like hell and there was an annoying voice, saying his name over and over again. He opened his eyes and shrunk back; whoa, someone was very close. His eyes finally focused and he saw a real weird looking Crown Prince with hair standing up on end hovering over him.

“Merlin? Merlin?”

“Yeah. Stop yelling, my head hurts.”

“I guess it would,” Arthur said and sat back onto his heels. “He knocked you out pretty hard.”

Merlin sat up slowly; he felt around for awhile through his hair and winced. There was a large bump on the back of his head.

“Who knocked me out? I can’t remember a thing… the last I do remember is that we were hunting? You were after that boar and then…nothing. Did you get it? What happened? And where are we?”

Arthur sighed. “That boar wasn’t a boar. It turned into an old man right in front of my eyes. And before I could do a thing, he beat you over the head with some kind of staff and then he kind of… froze me. I couldn’t move a muscle.”

“The boar turned into a man?”

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m telling you, that’s what happened. And stop grinning like an idiot, sorcery isn’t funny.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Still, it’s… okay, not funny at all.”

Merlin looked around and after taking in his surroundings, he had to agree with Arthur, it really wasn’t funny. They were in some kind of room; it looked like the dungeons in Camelot with one exception… there was no door. Nowhere. Just a weirdly blurry looking window far above them, that was all.

“How did we get in here?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know? Did he knock you out, too?”

“No. We just… I don’t know. We were in the woods and then, in the next moment, we were here and that old guy was gone. You know, I wonder why did he knock you out? I was the one with the sword; by the way, I still have it.” Arthur pointed to his sword, lying right beside him. “So why you?”

“No idea,” Merlin answered, cringing inwardly. Obviously the other warlock had somehow noticed that Merlin had his own magic. So better to knock the other warlock out; a sword wouldn’t really scare another sorcerer. “Hey, maybe I really look more dangerous than you?”

“Well, he was an old man. Maybe he was short sighted?”

“Funny. So what now?”

“I don’t know. Since I couldn’t make you wake up, I tried to climb up to that window, but after two yards or so I… I’m not sure if I can explain it. I bumped into something. It was a strange feeling… I can’t really tell. I kind of jerked and fell down; it shook me all over.”

“Is that the reason why your hair is standing up?”

Arthur immediately touched his hair and winced; there was a sizzling sound. “I guess,” he said. “It feels the same, just a lot less powerful. It had to be some sort of magic shield.”

Merlin stood up slowly and started to feel his way around their prison. He couldn’t sense any magic at all, just the rough stone walls. If this was really a magical place, things weren’t so bad. By now, Merlin was very sure he could overcome any magic, so he just had to wait for Arthur to fall asleep and then he would get them out somehow. After he had surrounded the whole room and met up with Arthur again, the other man raised an eyebrow.

“Satisfied?”

Merlin ignored the sarcastic tone and answered, “yes. Is there any food or water?”

“Yes, Merlin, I have it here in my pocket. You just saw the whole room… did you see any food?”

Gods, the prince was in a foul mood. He always was when it came down to handling magic; Arthur resented everything he couldn’t kill or brawl with.

“Fine,” Merlin said and sat down on the straw again. “So what now?”

“We’ll wait,” Arthur said. “I just bet this guy wants something from my father. Whatever it is, we will soon see the knights of Camelot here.”

***

Well, the only thing they did see in the next hours was two torches appearing on one of the walls. Knights, not so much.

Merlin had originally planned to wait for Arthur to go to sleep; now he would be glad if he himself would get some rest. But the prince was pacing back and forth in front of him, getting on his nerves, and Merlin was hungry.

“Arthur, would you please stop that?”

“Shut up. I don’t understand why they aren’t here yet. We weren’t so far away from the castle…”

“And that matters why? Who knows how far away this place is?”

“Could you…”

“Good evening.”

Merlin sat up and Arthur spun around. On the opposite wall of the room stood a tall old man. White hair, white beard, black clothes, black cape. Merlin was creeped out at once. He had never felt so much raw power in another being; not even in Nimueh or Cornelius Sigan. While he still sat gaping at the stranger, Arthur bent down and drew his sword.

“Arthur, don’t…”

Too late. The prince swung forward and crashed into something invisible close to the warlock. There was again that sizzling sound, much louder than before, and Arthur was thrown backwards, banging into the stone wall and falling down. Merlin scrambled over to him quickly, but he didn’t have to worry; Arthur was obviously fine, just his hair reached new levels at standing up on end.

“Prince Arthur, please hold your peace. There is no need for you to get hurt; and you won’t be able to hurt me.”

Arthur, who by now had gotten his feet under him, started again at once in the direction of the black clothed man. With all his might, Merlin grabbed his arm and drew him back. He couldn’t stop the prince from shouting, though.

“What do you want, asshole? Who are you?”

Merlin winced at the insult, but the warlock didn’t seem to mind. He smiled a strangely gentle smile at Arthur that made Merlin’s skin crawl. Gods, another mad sorcerer who was trying to get his hands on the prince.

“My name is Aneirin, Prince Arthur. And for what I want…” the old man’s smile deepened. “One could say you are here to learn a lesson. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Oh spare me, alright? Just send someone with your demands to my father. I am sure he will pay whatever you want.”

Aneirin’s face hardened. “I want nothing from Uther.” The way he spat the King’s name, Merlin could guess there was some history between the two men. That was just great. A sorcerer who knew Uther personally? That didn’t bode well at all for the King’s son.

“Of course you don’t.” Arthur’s smile was full of defiance. “So all you want is me to learn a lesson? Whatever it is, tell me and then let us go.”

Aneirin smiled again. “You misunderstood me, Prince Arthur. You both have to learn. And I’m afraid, I can’t help you with the most important lesson. You have to figure that one out on your own. But I can give you a place to start. As you may have seen by now, there is no food and water here. And I won’t give you any.”

“Are you mad? What, you want us to die of thirst? What kind of lesson is this?”

“Prince Arthur, calm down, please. This isn’t the lesson.” Aneirin turned slightly and for the first time, he looked directly at Merlin. The moment their eyes met, Merlin’s heartbeat doubled. He just knew he wouldn’t like what would come next.

Aneirin’s smile changed slightly, it became a little taunting. “There is no need for me to provide you with food and water; your manservant can do this. Because you should know, Prince Arthur, your manservant is a warlock, too.”

With that, Aneirin vanished from their sight and left behind a stunned looking Arthur and a warlock who felt suddenly sick to his stomach.

***

Merlin had trouble breathing properly; the only thing he could clearly see was the sword still in Arthur’s hand. This was so not a good moment for Arthur to learn about him; and he knew however he tried to deny it, Arthur wouldn’t believe him. Merlin could already feel the heat in his face, he had blushed all over. He swallowed and tried to remember a spell to protect himself without hurting the prince.

Merlin watched Arthur turning around slowly, staring at him. He looked up and… Gods. He had been right. Arthur had lost his stunned look and stared at him, eyes full of betrayal, rage and… disgust. Shit.

“Is what he said true? Are you a warlock?”

Merlin just looked at him, noticing that Arthur’s sword hand was trembling. He nodded. A minute later, Arthur raised the sword, coming his way, and Merlin leaned back against the wall behind him and stared at the prince who now stood right before him. Inwardly, his heart was breaking. The look on Arthur’s face… he couldn’t bear it. He would rather be dead.

For a few seconds, neither man moved. Then Arthur blinked a few times, lowered the sword and backed off. He was completely white in the face, still staring at Merlin with suspiciously bright eyes. Then he suddenly flung the sword on the floor, staggered into one corner and threw up, violently. Merlin watched him, blinking away his own tears. This was the end, the end of everything between them. What none of the others had achieved, Aneirin had managed with a few words. He had broken both of them, destroyed their future, destroyed everything.

Arthur spat on the floor a few times more, then he swiped his mouth with his sleeve, took a few steps away from the mess and slid down on the wall farest away from Merlin, hugging himself. He didn’t look at his manservant even once. Merlin opened his mouth and closed it again. There was nothing to say. Nothing.

Merlin sat down himself, shaking all over. For the longest time, there was no sound except the harsh breathing of Arthur. Then there was a sudden sizzling flash and the vomit on the floor vanished. Arthur startled and looked up, first at the corner and then at Merlin out of red-rimmed eyes.

“What, have you been bothered by the smell? I’m so sorry, warlock.”

“Arthur, I didn’t do this. It had to be…”

“Stop calling me by my name. Stop talking to me. Why are you still here anyway? I just bet you could just magick yourself out of here. Just fuck off, okay?”

“Ar… Sire, I don’t even know if I can get out of here. And even if I can, I wouldn’t leave you behind. You have to know this!”

“I obviously know nothing at all, warlock. Alright, tell me. What was your plan? What did you want to achieve by being my manservant all those months? What are beings like you after? Power? My soul? Or was it just for a good laugh? Becoming my friend and…” Arthur’s voice broke.

Merlin blinked again and felt the first tears escaping and running down his cheeks. He trembled even more as he tried to find words to reach out with to Arthur.

“Arthur, please. Please you have to know I would never hurt you. Look, I… when I first met you, I thought you an ass. I told you. And when your father made me your manservant I wasn’t exactly overjoyed, same as you. But afterwards, when I got to know you, I… I… I started to like you. And… then so many evil people or magical beings were trying to get to you and I… I just wanted to protect you. Arthur, that’s all I’ve ever really wanted… I want to keep you safe.”

Merlin looked desperately at the prince, who stared back at him for a moment.

“I told you not to call me Arthur anymore.”

Lowering his head on his knees, Merlin just nodded and said hoarsely, “I understand, Sire.”

***

Some time later, Merlin lay on his side, curled into a ball and tried to sleep. It didn’t work at all. He was hungry and thirsty, and his thoughts tumbled over themselves in his mind.

They hadn’t spoken another word to each other in the last hours, and Merlin was afraid Arthur would never really speak with him again. Not as he had before. Arthur… Gods, if he –Merlin- was hungry and thirsty, he didn’t want to know how the prince felt by now. After all, he had been sick to the stomach… he had to be really hungry by now, not to mention the fact that he probably had an awful taste in his mouth. Merlin could hear that Arthur also wasn’t sleeping; his breathing rhythm was erratic. After the sorcerer did some more thinking, he sat up. It wouldn’t matter so much if he did some magic, would it? Things couldn’t get worse anyway.

First things first. If he managed to get them out somehow, maybe Arthur wouldn’t be so mad afterwards. So Merlin started to climb the wall himself; from the corner of his eyes he saw Arthur turning around, watching him. As Arthur had said, Merlin soon was stopped by something invisible. He didn’t get jostled and there was no sizzling sound, but… it was weird. He pushed against the see-through barricade and it actually gave way, but just a little. It was pliant but Merlin couldn’t get through. Again, the feeling of the unbelievable magical power he sensed made him tremble a bit. But he had to try, he had to.

Merlin concentrated, summoning his own power, feeling it crackle around him. Arthur below him had sat up by now. With an enormous push, Merlin threw his magic against the shield; the world getting red before his eyes. That earned him a reaction, alright. He was thrown backwards and downwards; he landed on his back on the stone floor, barely cushioned by the straw. Aftershocks were playing over his body, making him writhe on the ground. He couldn’t catch his breath. Suddenly Arthur was beside him, reaching out for him. Merlin whimpered, “No!”, but again, he was too late. The prince took his arm and was immediately thrown backwards himself, landing a few yards from Merlin on the floor himself.

For awhile, both men lay there panting. Then Merlin picked himself up, and threw a glance at Arthur.

“You alright?”

The prince sat up slowly, combing through his hair. He just nodded.

Okay, two things were clear. Firstly, Merlin had no chance in hell to break through that shield; secondly, Arthur was still not speaking to him. The latter was so more disappointing. But there was still another way to break free; Merlin raised a hand, whispered the breaking spell and threw it against the stone wall. He could have just petted it; nothing was happening at all. Repeating it again and again, Merlin felt sweat break out on his forehead. He knew he was exhausting himself but he couldn’t stop.

“Stop! Merlin, stop it!”

Suddenly weak in the knees, Merlin would have gone down if not for Arthur, who –again- had grabbed his arm and held him up. Merlin turned slightly and looked at the prince.

“What are you doing? Haven’t you learned your lesson yet?”

Arthur let him go just to grab him again at once, because Merlin indeed started to go down; the prince supported the sorcerer until he sat on the floor, then he backed off slowly.

“You want to kill yourself, warlock? I doubt that was the lesson what’s his name had in mind.”

“His name is Aneirin.”

“Thank’s for telling me. That’s really important.”

Merlin could have been pointing out to Arthur that the name could be important, some time later. If they could get away from here, and the prince could talk to his father about it. He was sure Uther would recognize the name. And while he was thinking of Uther…

“Why do you care if I’m dead or alive? If I die here, neither you nor your father would have to be bothered with killing me.”

Arthur stared at him for awhile, then he huffed.

“I don’t want to spoil the fun my father will have with you, warlock.”

Merlin felt as if Arthur had just taken a whip and beat him with it. Looking up at the prince, he started to smile, a nasty smile.

“Really? What do you think he will do to me, Arthur? Will he burn me on a stake, Arthur? Hack my head off? Do you think he will torture me before killing me, Arthur?”

By now, Arthur had gotten pale. He took a step towards Merlin, snapping “I told you to stop calling me that!”

“Then make me, Arthur!”

A second later, both of them were rolling on the floor, kicking, beating, shoving. Arthur was way stronger than Merlin, but Merlin was way meaner than Arthur. So, after a few minutes, both parted, bruised all over, and stared at each other.

Merlin had already lost any interest in brawling with Arthur; their relationship was bad enough right now. There was no sense at all in beating each other up.

Arthur on the other hand…

“That’s all you can do?” The prince wheezed. “I just knew you’re a wimp; and your magic is pathetic, too. You’re no use for no one.”

Merlin jumped on his feet, making Arthur actually stumble back a few steps. The sorcerer knew his eyes had changed colour because the prince looked scared.

“I’ll show you…” Merlin broke off, turned around and laid his head against the stone wall. Again he felt tears stinging in his eyes. Gods, what am I doing? What is happening here? He took a deep breath, then another. He had to calm down, he couldn’t dare to lose it with Arthur.

There was only silence behind him.

Merlin took another breath and turned around. He didn’t look at Arthur, just raised his hand again and concentrated. A moment later, there was a blanket on the floor. On the blanket, there was a bottle with water, two cups, bread and cheese. Still keeping his eyes averted from the prince, Merlin went over, took one cup and filled it with water. Then he grabbed a piece of bread, some cheese and the cup and retreated to one corner of the dungeon cell. He started eating and ignored Arthur completely, who after awhile also went to the blanket and took whatever he needed.

Part Two.

Merlin Fic: The Most Awful Wedding Ever

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:49:32 GMT

Title: The Most Awful Wedding Ever
Summary: It wasn’t very healthy for Merlin’s surroundings when the warlock was in that state of mind. He had told Arthur this but the arse had insisted on his presence. So whatever happened, it would be on the King’s head.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Established Relationship, Future!Fic, Humour, No Spoilers just screwing around with the Original Legend
Rating: R for language
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: ~2.000
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Thank you so much, kelsrealm . You’re not only the greatest beta ever but you’re also an amazing friend who makes me laugh even if I think I can’t.

The Most Awful Wedding Ever

Merlin didn’t have to watch it. He had to be here because Arthur had thrown a hissy fit of epic –kingly- proportions but he didn’t have to watch. And so he didn’t. Arms crossed, he stared at the wall on the opposite side of the crown room, whistling slightly; he didn’t have to listen either.

The warlock could literally feel the King staring at him; but if Arthur wanted him to watch this farce he should have been clearer an hour ago. Pff.

Merlin wasn’t the only one not paying the proper attention; Morgana had actually managed to lay her head on the table, facing the bridal couple and was making faces at them. And Lancelot… holy shit… if looks could kill they would be by now searching for a new king. Merlin wondered if the First Knight had gotten the same speech from Gwen as he had gotten from Arthur. Nothing will change between us. You’re the love of my life. We will be together as always. And on top of that, the real reassuring, you have to understand… I need an heir. Merlin was sure at least that topic hadn’t been mentioned to Lancelot. Lucky guy.

Merlin was seething inwardly; he had known from the beginning that this day would come. But right now he didn’t care about logic… alone the thought of Arthur with someone else –even Gwen- made him go crazy inside. It wasn’t very healthy for Merlin’s surroundings when the warlock was in that state of mind. He had told Arthur this but the arse had insisted on his presence. So whatever happened, it would be on the King’s head.

***

The first thing that happened was that the wedding cake exploded; right into Arthur’s face. That led to Lancelot spewing red wine all over the table onto Gaius, who –although he was really old by now- managed to jump on his feet, cursing and banging together with Sir Gawain. Gawain in turn, who was still staring at the King who was blotted from head to toe, couldn’t keep his footing and bumped into Percival who fell backwards on the table with the food. It was quite fascinating to watch, at least for Merlin and obviously for Morgana. Lying now with the whole upper part of her body on the table, she laughed herself senseless.

The next accident happened right after the furious King marched over in the direction of the Royal Warlock. He never made it. In the middle of the hall, in front of everyone, Arthur slipped on something and went down with an enormous loud clatter. His own fault, Merlin thought. Why did he have to marry with sword and crown and parts of armour? Morgana went down, too, without clattering. But she was screeching with laughter under the table which made up for that quite nicely.

Merlin tried to feel sorry for Gwen, he really did, but he couldn’t. He loved her dearly as a friend but today she was some sort of enemy. Nevertheless, Merlin had no evil plans for her at all; his goal was to make Arthur feel as awful as possible.

***

Hissing “stop that, at once!” had never had the desired effect on the Royal Warlock; why the King hadn’t learned this in over seven years, Merlin didn’t know. He just looked serenely at Arthur, having his many years in front of many mirrors trained ’what the fuck are you talking about?’ expression on his face. And if Arthur thought his pathetic look of rage would do a thing to Merlin, Arthur should think twice. King or not, he was still only a prat.

***

After the King had left with Gawain, probably to change his clothes, Merlin helped the still giggling Morgana back on the chair.

“I do love you, Merlin, you know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I know. Maybe we should marry?”

Merlin managed in the last moment to keep her on the chair; Morgana was by now crying with laughter.

***

The wedding dance was a disaster. Now Merlin really felt awful for Gwen. He just hoped she had no broken toes in her shoes; she had tried in vain to escape the lumbering feet of the King. At least she managed to get away from her husband before Arthur went down again. The floor was quite slippery, obviously.

***

“Can’t you hex his dick off?”

Merlin, one hand on Morgana’s arm, turned around and looked at the red-faced First Knight.

“Lancelot, you’re knocking on the wrong door here. I kind of need his dick in the future. But please, don’t let me stop you from finding another warlock… it could be fun watching the dick without a dick for a few days. I would have to magick it on again, though. Some time later.”

***

The sudden sound of an explosion somewhere in the castle made the whole wedding party jump, with the exception of Merlin and Morgana. Merlin already knew what had happened, and Morgana who was by now sitting on Merlin’s lap, was too drunken to care. But not too drunken to start laughing again at once.

A few minutes later, some guards reported that the King’s bed wasn’t there anymore; the only things that had remained were some feathers and a few splinters of wood.

***

The next thing that happened, wasn’t Merlin’s doing. Same as Morgana, Lancelot had drank too much and stumbled to the throne, trying to drag the brand new Queen away from the King. Arthur, who also had drank too much and was in a fouler mood than Merlin had ever seen him before, stood up and said something like, “let her go.” It was hard to tell because he was slurring real bad. Lancelot indeed let Gwen go but only because he wanted to smash his fist into Arthur’s face.

Sir Gawain, who was by now the only one sober beside Merlin, jumped between the two men and took the blow himself. The next second, Gawain sat on his arse before the throne due to the fact that Arthur apparently hadn’t wanted any interruption. So now both of them, King and First Knight, were brawling like drunken villagers, hissing stuff like, “You stay away from Merlin” and “Don’t you dare lay hands on Gwen”.

Morgana rallied enough to try to make a bet with Gaius about who would win; Gaius just looked disgusted and left the table. Percival on the other hand wasn’t such a spoilsport. The only problem was that both of them wanted to bet on Lancelot.

***

Before the royal couple retreated to their wedding night –some of Arthur’s knights had prepared another room quickly- Arthur wavered over to Merlin and whispered loudly enough so everyone still conscious could hear him, “you just wait. You won’t get any for the next weeks… er… for some time.” With that, he staggered away to his wife who by now looked at him as he was something that crawled out from under some rock.

No, you just wait, Merlin thought. I wish you luck for producing an heir.

The moment King and Queen had left, Merlin stood up, tucking Morgana under his arm. He dragged her over to Gawain, talked with him for some minutes about getting Lancelot in some bed and locking him in for the night. Then the Royal Warlock, looking very dignified in his black clothes and cape, left himself, lugging the still giggling but almost unconscious Morgana with him.

***

After Merlin had hoisted Morgana on her bed, he recommended her maid to keep a bucket near and left for his own chambers.

After getting ready for bed, he laid his head on his pillow and slept the sleep of the innocent.

***

For the whole next day, it was very quiet in the castle. The only thing Merlin could hear were the running steps of servants and maids, probably carrying buckets with awful stuff inside to the dungheaps. Merlin had opened one of his windows; the one that went out to the woods so he couldn’t smell anything disgusting. It was a warm but rainy day, just made for some reading.

***

Sometime after midnight, the door to Merlin’s chambers crashed open and a furious King came in, banging the door shut after him again.

“You….”

Merlin calmly closed his book and looked up at the King.

“Yes?” Inwardly, he was already laughing; he could guess what this was about. The human psyche was such a marvellous thing.

“You cursed me! You promised me you wouldn’t do something like that!”

“Arthur, I didn’t curse you. I keep my promises, you know?”

“Of course you cursed me! Do you think I’m an idiot? No, shut up! I couldn’t get it up! That had never happened before! So you… Stop laughing!”

Merlin tried but it was difficult.

“Oh Arthur. I wouldn’t need a curse for something like that. Had it never occurred to you that your cock had somehow lost interest in a female body during the last seven years?”

The warlock noticed that Arthur’s face went very pale. He had known that Arthur had suspected Merlin would cast some spell on him; so there had been no need at all for actually doing it. And if the King now internalized that he would never be able to have sex with a woman again… well, Merlin wouldn’t mind at all.

“You think that could happen?”

“Yes, I would think so.”

Arthur sank down on the bed beside Merlin, looking at him.

“That is… awful. I mean… what about having an heir and…”

“Huh. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gwen is already expecting. She’s become real curvy the last weeks.”

Arthur stared at him, aghast.

“What? No one could know it’s not from you. You’re lucky Gwen isn’t blond and fair skinned like you, then a dark haired baby would be hard to explain.”

Merlin watched with delight that Arthur didn’t seem to be too disturbed by that thought. Again, the sorcerer had to stop himself from laughing out loud; he knew right now Uther would be spinning in his grave. He reached out for the King and petted his cheek.

“How bad was it?”

Arthur groaned and let himself fall into Merlin’s embrace.

“As you can imagine, yesterday night nothing happened at all. And tonight…it was awful. Gods, we couldn’t even look at each other. We tried to kiss and… aw, it was terrible. She didn’t want to, I didn’t want to, and it really didn’t help that Lancelot was throwing stones at the window the whole time.”

Merlin nosed through Arthur’s hair and smiled. They really hadn’t had any chance at all.

“And then Morgana… she stood in front of the door and cheered me on. ’Hey, hey, Arthur’ and stuff like that.”

Merlin couldn’t help it, he had to laugh a little about that. He drew the King nearer to him and lifted his head to kiss him gently. Arthur sighed and crept on top of Merlin, deepening the kiss. Suddenly, he raised his head again and said, “what if it isn’t working anymore?”

The warlock just smiled and let his right hand slip downwards and squeeze. Arthur moaned and let his head fall on Merlin’s chest.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t think we really have to worry about that.”

The End.

Merlin Fic: The Cave

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 11:31:25 GMT

Title: The Cave
Summary: The prince looked at Merlin, who was all of sudden clinging to Arthur’s tunic. He should have known it by now… Merlin was a girl.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First time, Romance, Action/Adventure, Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: ~ 4.000
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

I have to give my biggest thanks ever to my wonderful beta kelsrealm . She is obviously channeling Superwoman again, but not only that, no, she also manages to beta NC-17 slash (although she isn’t a slasher at all) and at the same time she betas random chapters of my AU epic. *iz in awe*

The Cave

“Merlin, stop it. There are no bears here.”

“And how would you know that?”

“I just do.”

And that was just about everything Arthur knew right now. He hadn’t known there were caves here… and most of all he hadn’t known that there were holes in the ground where someone could fall into said caves. But he knew that they had been lucky, very lucky. None of them had any broken bones, let alone a broken neck. How Merlin and he had managed that, Arthur had no idea. He had had the feeling something had been slowing their fall seconds before they had landed –still quite hard- at the bottom of the cave, but this was nonsense, of course. They had just been lucky, that’s all.

“What about wolves?”

Arthur sighed; as always, his manservant worried and worried and drove Arthur up the walls… well, not up the walls. That would have been handy right now.

“No wolves either. There may be some spiders here but…”

“Spiders? I hate spiders!”

The prince looked at Merlin, who was all of sudden clinging to Arthur’s tunic. He should have known it by now… Merlin was a girl.

“I will kill all those bad, bad spiders for you, my lady.”

As he had expected, Merlin shoved him back immediately.

“You are such an ass! Would you please remember the spiders you had seen in that cave where you had got the flower for me? I don’t want to get eaten by monster sized spiders!”

Arthur frowned; something wasn’t right with… but before he could end his thought, Merlin started screeching and jumped right back into the prince’s arms.

“There, there!” Merlin pointed wildly into some corner. “I saw something!”

Arthur drew his sword immediately and went in the direction Merlin was pointing, only to be constrained by his manservant, who was still clinging to one of his arms.

“No, no, who knows what it is? It could be dangerous!”

The prince just dragged Merlin with him, took a look and then groaned.

“It’s only a bat, Merlin. Bats aren’t dangerous and we will probably see quite a lot of them.”

“Normal bats aren’t dangerous. What if there are giant bats down here?”

“Merlin, what is it with you? Why should there be giant bats? It’s just a normal cave…”

“Hah! He is asking why! I tell you why. Because whenever you’re involved, there is no such thing as a normal cave. Mark my words, there will be monsters any minute now.”

“No, there won’t be. Unless you think the guards are monsters. They will soon enough discover that we’re missing and will start to search for us. So calm down, alright? You will burst a vessel or something otherwise.”

Merlin clutched –again- Arthur’s arm and said, “the guards! I forgot about the guards! Hey! HEY!”

Arthur watched while Merlin started yelling; this was just as well. His manservant could scream louder than any woman Arthur had ever known. The guards had to be deaf to not hear him.

***

A long time later, both men were hoarse and Arthur had to admit to himself that either the guards looked for them in the wrong place (and this was very possible because the prince could remember very well that Merlin and he had gone off their usual path; Arthur just had to catch that stag, not that he would mention any of this to Merlin) or the guards were indeed deaf.

Arthur squinted at the exhausted looking Merlin; he could barely see him anymore. The little light that had shone through the hole in the ground far above them started to vanish with each passing moment. They needed some kind of torch; good thing that Merlin still had his beater stick.

“Merlin, do you have any flintstones on you? We need to light a fire; I would really prefer not to become blind in the next minutes.”

“Yes, I guess.” Merlin started to search through his leather bag, coming up with the stone and with lots of bandages. Bandages, of course. Arthur shook his head; he was sure that his manservant had half of the contents of Gaius’ medicines in that bag, too. After he watched the dark haired man beating the flintstone against a rock without success for a few minutes, the prince went over to him and took the stone from him.

“Let me, alright? We’re running out of time here.”

“Well, if you think you’re better than me at starting a fire, be my guest,” Merlin bitched and stood up, standing behind the prince.

“Hah! Did you see that?”

Arthur turned around, proud at starting the fire at the first try and saw some of the small flames reflecting in Merlin’s eyes.

“You’re quite the hero, Arthur.”

“I have to be, I’m down here with a girl, after all.”

Arthur saw Merlin opening his mouth, closing it again and then swallowing whatever he had wanted to say. Then his manservant crossed his arms and said, “what now, Shining White Knight?”

“I think we can forget about the guards. Maybe we should try some of the tunnels; there may be another exit to these caves.”

“Oh, that is the greatest idea you ever had. Let’s go into the tunnels and get lost. What a great plan. Thank you very much, but I will stay exactly where I am now.”

“You can do whatever you want, Merlin,” Arthur said while wrapping the burning bandages carefully around the stick. “I will go into the tunnels.”

As he did exactly that, he heard some vicious cursing behind him and then the fast steps of his manservant following him.

“Don’t worry so much, Merlin. We won’t get lost.”

***

They were lost.

Arthur had to give it to Merlin; his manservant didn’t say, “I told you so.” But maybe he was just too scared to say anything. The prince wasn’t feeling too brave himself right now. They had tried again and again to go back to where they had started, but by now, Arthur had lost every sense of direction. They had stumbled from one cave into another, large caves, small ones, caves with bats and without bats; Arthur had even seen some spiders. They had been normal sized, though.

But by seeing those spiders, Arthur had been reminded of something odd Merlin had said. Would you please remember the spiders you had seen in that cave where you had got the flower for me? Now that would be a perfect normal concern, if not for the fact that Arthur had told no one about the spiders. Not a soul; not even his father. The only ones who had known about them had been that sorceress and himself, and maybe the person who had sent that shining ball of blue light. A blue light… the same shade of blue as Merlin’s eyes.

Now it would have been easy to just ask Merlin about it, but Arthur really didn’t want to see his servant running away with the torch in his hand. The prince also wasn’t exactly sure he wanted to know. Although… if Merlin had sent that light… if Merlin could do magic… it would explain many things, for example the fact that none of them had broken anything before; there had been that weird feeling of floating for a few seconds. And that Arthur had been able to light a fire on the first try, something that had never happened before; he sucked at lighting a fire.

Right now it would have been a blessing if Merlin was a warlock, who knows what he could do? He probably could get them out of here very quickly. But the prince still shied away from questioning Merlin. It would be a good thing down here, yes, but what would happen when they got back to Camelot? Arthur would never rat out Merlin to his father, but he wasn’t sure if he could stand the thought of knowing about something like this and not… worrying himself to death. He would never be able to let Merlin out of his sight again; on the other hand, that wasn’t a terrible thought at all. Arthur’s heart started to beat a little faster while he watched his servant running around in the very large cave they were in right now, trying to determine which tunnel would be the best to try out next.

Here we go, the prince thought, disgusted by himself. He had had for a long time now very inappropriate thoughts about Merlin; and now one part of his mind jumped on the fact that if Merlin indeed was a sorcerer, it would change their master-servant relationship forever. It would make Merlin almost equal, well, maybe even more than equal and Arthur could… try something. Merlin could say no then.

Arthur bit his lower lip. If Merlin wouldn’t think he had lost it completely, he would have slapped himself over the head. All this reasoning… it was such rubbish. Even if Merlin was just a simple servant, he would have said no to Arthur anyway, if he wasn’t willing. And this was the problem, not the fact if Merlin was a sorcerer or a mere servant; Arthur had no idea if Merlin was willing to get involved with the prince. It would be beyond embarrassing to be turned down by Merlin because it wasn’t just a matter of attraction; Arthur was sure somehow his heart was on the line here, too. How that had happened, Arthur couldn’t venture a guess. It just did. Well, it was probably for the best if he didn’t say anything at all. Yes, that…

“Arthur? Arthur?”

“Yes? What?”

“Is everything alright with you? The way you keep staring at this wall… it’s a little creepy.”

Arthur looked at his manservant, his heart thundering in his ears. Don’t do this, he thought. Don’t you dare do this!

“How did you know about the spiders?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The spiders in the cave with the flower. How did you know about them?”

Merlin stared at him out of huge eyes; he looked like a rabbit in front of a snake.

“Er… someone told me?”

“No, this can’t be. I never told anyone.”

“You… er… you talk in your sleep?”

“Merlin. Tell me.”

Silence.

“Was that you? The light? Have you been saving me?”

For a moment, Arthur thought Merlin would indeed flee; he was obviously scared to death. He actually looked over his shoulder at one of the tunnels for a minute. Then Merlin’s shoulders dropped.

“Yes,” Merlin answered hoarsely.

“You’re a warlock?”

“Yes.”

And now what, Arthur thought. Maybe I should… there was a sudden noise behind him and before the prince could even turn around he felt a blow to his head and everything went dark at once.

***

Arthur woke up with the mother of all headaches and to cursing; lots of cursing. Moaning, he opened his eyes just to stare unbelievingly at his manservant who did some kind of demented sword dance around some… thing… lying on the ground. Whatever that thing was, it was very large, stank and was obviously dead. But that didn’t seem to stop Merlin hacking and stabbing at it with Arthur’s sword, swearing loudly. After a moment, the prince started to make out some words.

“… knew it… normal cave… as if… damn you to hell… after I kill… will kill him next…”

“Merlin?”

“Shut up!”

“Merlin? I think it is dead.”

His manservant suddenly turned around and stared at him. He threw the sword at the ground clank! and made a beeline for Arthur.

“Arthur! Gods, you’re awake! How do you feel?”

Merlin took Arthur’s head in his hands and carefully turned it a bit; then he felt around for something and Arthur hissed in pain.

“Ow, stop that!”

Merlin’s hands slowly released him; they came away bloody.

“You’re bleeding,” his manservant said shakily.

“Don’t fret, I’m fine; head wounds bleed a lot, that’s normal. Just give me one of the bandages to hold them against the wound.”

“I’m out of bandages! Remember the torch? That’s it; the next time we leave the castle I will bring dozens of bandages!”

With that, Merlin drew his tunic above his head and before Arthur could mention a thing Merlin ripped it apart and tried to wrap it around the prince’s head. Arthur just stared at his half naked manservant who was already covered in goosebumps and who still had his scarf around the neck. Why Merlin hadn’t used the scarf, Arthur couldn’t even guess.

“You are such an ass! You should have watched out instead of…” Merlin broke off and glanced at Arthur. “Do you remember what you… what we had done before this thing had knocked you out?”

For a second, Arthur just heard the words ‘we had done’ and thought, we have done something? And I can’t remember it? Then he saw the scared look on Merlin’s face and sighed.

“You mean our conversation about you being a warlock? Yeah, I can remember that.”

While Merlin sank back onto his heels, Arthur hoisted himself up, ignoring the pounding headache. He glanced at Merlin who was by now staring at his feet and sighed again.

“Merlin, please stop looking as if I would run you through the next minute. What do you think I will do?”

“Honestly? I have no idea. I’m just glad it’s out. I had known I would give myself away some day… and now I just wish I would have told you earlier.”

One part of Arthur wished for the same; the other part wished he had never discovered that secret. He didn’t ask why Merlin hadn’t told him, he knew exactly why. Images of burning stakes and the axe of the executioner rose before his eyes. But, headache or not, there were other things as well on his mind, and as much as Arthur tried to keep his mouth shut, he wasn’t sure if he could do it.

“Arthur, why aren’t you mad at me?”

Gods.

“Er… because I like you?” Somehow this came out as a question. Merlin looked at him, surprised, and for a moment there was a certain glint in his eyes. Then the warlock sighed and sat down next to the prince.

“Yes, I know. I guess I should be… I mean I am grateful that you still think I’m your friend.”

Now what did that mean? Arthur thought. His head was pounding in the same rhythm his heart was beating, and it hurt like hell but still…

“I wouldn’t exactly call it friendship,” Arthur said. After he saw the wounded look in Merlin’s eyes, he hurried on. “My feelings, I mean. Er…” If his head hadn’t hurt already so much, Arthur would have banged it against the stone wall. He sounded more stupid than his father had sounded with that troll woman.

“Really?”

Arthur looked up at Merlin and the other man stared right back at him, with an almost gentle expression in his eyes. Arthur swallowed.

“Yes, really.”

The next moment, their lips met and Arthur threaded his fingers through Merlin’s dark hair. He carefully coaxed the other man to open his lips and then slid his tongue between them. Both of them were breathing hard already, and Arthur’s senses begun to spin. He never had such a reaction to a simple kiss before. Slowly, he swept his tongue against the other man’s, and Merlin’s answering moan went straight to Arthur’s groin. He groaned himself and started to lean against Merlin to get him down on the ground. But suddenly the sorcerer drew back, looking a little crazed, and said, “this is not a good idea.”

“What?” Normally, Arthur would have thought that Merlin had second thoughts, but he just had to look at him to know that wasn’t true. Merlin’s naked chest was flushed all over, his pupils were dilated, he was panting and there was quite an impressive bulge in his pants.

“You… you’re not acting like yourself. You have a head wound. This can’t be really what you want. I’ll try to get us out of here and then we will go back to the castle and…”

Rambling. Merlin was rambling. Well, Arthur had already known it was something retarded. But by now Merlin tried to get on is feet and that was unacceptable. Arthur grabbed with one hand Merlin’s waistband and with the other his left arm and drew him down, right on top of the prince. This way was better anyway; Arthur still had his tunic on and the warm weight felt delightful.

“The hell! This is exactly what I want. For months now! Alright, I could have done without that saurian or whatever it is, but if you don’t mind, I don’t.”

And before Merlin could utter another stupid thing, Arthur lips closed over his mouth again, this time with urgency. Thankfully Merlin froze just for a moment and then started to kiss him back with a vengeance. Arthur didn’t even mind that his head got dumped back on the stone floor, hell, he didn’t even know he had a head anymore. It certainly had to have stopped bleeding; all the blood in his body was rushing southwards. Merlin whimpered quietly into the kiss, breaking it. Then he started to shove Arthur’s tunic upwards, glanced for a moment at the naked chest before him out of almost golden eyes, and then bent down and started to kiss a path across Arthur’s chest, stopping at his left nipple. He licked it a few times and then sucked it into his mouth. Arthur heaved beneath him; he actually saw stars. With his left hand, he got a hold of Merlin’s hair to keep him exactly in place while his other hand slid between their bodies, covering the prominent bulge in his servant’s pants and squeezing. At that, Merlin moaned loudly, still squished against the prince’s hard nipple.

Gods, Arthur wanted them to get naked, right now. So what if the cave was cold, so what if it stank to high heaven… he shoved Merlin back a bit and panted, “clothes… off… now!” Merlin stared at him for a second as if he couldn’t understand one word, then he nodded and wiggled down to take off Arthur’s boots. After he was done with that, he tried to get the prince’s pants off but was hindered by an also very eager Arthur who tried at the same time to open Merlin’s pants.

“Let me…”

“No, let me…”

“I’m the Crown Prince, dammit! Hold still!”

Merlin burst out in laughter at that, which was fine for Arthur, who made short work of getting all their clothes off. For a moment, he just looked at his still giggling servant. Gods, Merlin was beautiful. White skin all over, only interrupted by some tufts of black hair; an impressive cock rising out of sable curls. Arthur couldn’t help himself, he had to touch it right now. The second his hand closed around Merlin’s cock, the other man stopped laughing and started moaning again. His hips jerked with Arthur’s strokes; and suddenly stroking wasn’t enough, Arthur had to taste him. He closed his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue over the slit. He had no idea at all what he was doing; he would just go with Merlin’s reactions. This made him cough out the cock at once because Merlin had let out a cry and had shoved himself down Arthur’s throat. The prince ignored the moaning apologies from above, restrained Merlin’s hips with both hands and sucked him in again. It wasn’t easy to adjust to the velvet shaft; but on the other hand he seemed to do well if Merlin’s noises were anything to go by.

“Arthur! Arthur, I…”

Oh. Arthur drew back a bit with the result being that he got the first spurt right onto his nose which made him descend quickly at once and swallow the rest. Merlin meanwhile jerked around underneath him and seemed to want to moan the roof of the cave down.

After awhile, Merlin calmed down a bit and Arthur released the dramatically shrunk cock from his lips. He swallowed a few times more; well, that hadn’t been delicious but definitely doable. Definitely.

Arthur’s own cock bobbed up at his stomach, begging for some attention. The prince looked at his now even more beautiful lover who seemed almost to glow. As if he noticed the glance, Merlin opened his eyes. As soon as Arthur saw Merlin’s eyes, swirling with blue and gold, it was over. He had thought he could wait until Merlin recovered a bit, but he couldn’t. Almost jumping onto his lover, he drove his cock in mindless need against Merlin’s soft one, against Merlin’s velvet skin. His lover immediately raised his legs and wrapped them around Arthur’s waist, moaning quietly again. Arthur shoved once, twice and then he groaned loudly, burying his face in Merlin’s neck. He literally saw stars while he shuddered and shuddered, clutching tightly to Merlin with his arms and legs.

Finally, it was over and Arthur deflated completely on top of Merlin. While he felt his lover’s hands stroking gently across his back, he thought, Gods, I want to do this again. As often as possible. In every way possible. But first…

The prince raised his head and looked at Merlin who was definitely glowing by now and smiling a real stupid smile. If Arthur hadn’t been sure the same smile was on his own face he would have made some comment. So he just rolled off his lover and sat up.

“Merlin?”

“Hngh?”

“In about two minutes, we will both freeze our asses off here. Do you think you can get us out of here?”

“You are such a sweet talker, my Lord. You really need to work on that. Some lessons in cuddling wouldn’t hurt either.” Merlin also sat up, with a groan.

“I don’t cuddle.”

Merlin just looked at him.

“Alright, maybe I do. But I want to do it in my bed, as soon as possible. Do you know how we can get out of these damn caves?”

“Yes, I think so. The tunnel to the right. Before… this happened, I noticed it’s leading upwards and there is some kind of draft. So there had to be at least a small hole somewhere leading in the forest. No matter how small, I can blast it open enough for us to get out. Or float us out, whatever.”

“Great. Maybe you can clean us up a little, too?”

Merlin sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

“I just knew it,” he mumbled. “Now that you know I can do magic I will have to do every ridiculous thing that comes to your mind.”

“No, you won’t. I’m not crazy and I have no desire to fight my way out of Camelot with you and go into exile. We both have to be careful, but if by now no one thinks you’re a warlock, we should make it work. Somehow. Here, take this,” Arthur said and handed his tunic over to Merlin. He could stand the cool air probably better than Merlin, who was a little on the thin side. He definitely had to feed his lover more.

Merlin looked at the tunic for a moment, then he put it on and smiled.

“Awwww… so sweet of you.”

“Shut up.”

***

“You know, I was wrong.”

“How so?”

“You don’t need lessons in cuddling. You’re doing fine. Very fine.”

“How would you know?”

“What, you want me to go and find someone else so I can compare?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Umpf! Breathing would be nice, Arthur.”

The End.

Merlin Fic: The Loan

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:20:18 GMT

Title: The Loan
Summary: “Are you crazy? You can’t… I can’t do this! I will spend the whole week in the stocks and… wait a moment. That’s it! I will spend the whole week in the stocks. That’s the answer. I like it there.”
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Established Relationship, Humour, No Spoilers
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 1.680
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

My thanks go as always to my awesome beta kelsrealm . I’m preparing a Convention for you next year.

The Loan

“What?”

Arthur winced and stared at his feet.

“I had to.”

“What?”

“I’m sure it won’t be… so bad.”

Arthur knew that Merlin wouldn’t believe that. He didn’t believe it either. It was a disaster. The thought alone… Arthur shuddered.

“Merlin, listen. Just… keep your head down. Don’t look at him, do as he says and this week will be over quickly. And remember to call him ‘Sire’ or ‘Your Highness’. Do yourself a favour and do not call him Uther, alright?”

“Are you crazy? You can’t… I can’t do this! I will spend the whole week in the stocks and… wait a moment. That’s it! I will spend the whole week in the stocks. That’s the answer. I like it there.”

“Merlin, my father doesn’t put his servants in the stocks. He used to flog them. He never did that to Charles, but Charles is kind of perfect.”

“Flog them? Arthur, you’re giving me to your father for a week…”

“I didn’t give you to him…”

“…when he is flogging his servants? Alright, I know you think I’m the worst manservant ever but what? You want to kill me now? And here I was, thinking you loved me!”

“I have no choice! You’ve seen Charles, he is too sick to work. And only the Gods know why, but my father insisted that you should replace him for a week or so.”

“I know why! He hates me! I will be dead tonight, you know that, don’t you? And even if I’m not, you will never get any in your whole life again!”

“Merlin, stop it. Just do what he wants, bring him his breakfast, and then clean his rooms or whatever he wants you to do. Just… try not to be yourself.”

Arthur watched a very pale Merlin leave his chambers and then he laid his head on the table. Gods.

***

Two hours later, Arthur peeked around the doors to the crown room to take a glance at his father. The King seemed to be in a good mood, talking about something to his stewart and a few of his knights. The King was smiling.

The problem was, Arthur knew that could either mean everything went alright at breakfast or Merlin was already dead. He tiptoed back into the halls. Usually at this time, he would be down at the training field, but today his knights would have to wait a few minutes. Arthur broke out in a run towards his father’s rooms.

***

“What happened?”

“What do you mean, ‘what happened’? I’m scared shitless.”

“No, I mean… everything went okay with breakfast?”

“I guess. I have no idea, I can’t remember a thing.”

Arthur stared at his trembling lover who leaned against the large black table in the middle of the King’s chambers.

“What did he say to you? What does he want you to do?”

“That’s the problem. He… he said I should clean this room, then polish his armour and sharpen his swords. Oh… and then… I should mend and wash his clothes until tomorrow? The clothes in this chest. But… what does he mean, clean this room? This room is perfectly clean.”

Arthur stared on. Sharpen his swords? All of them? The prince went over to the chest, opened it and groaned. Gods, these were old capes of his father, ripped and dirty. Arthur closed the chest, sat on top of it and closed his eyes. This was impossible. For Merlin. Charles could do this, no doubt. But Merlin? Never.

“Arthur? Could you please help me out here? What about this room? I mean, I already brought the breakfast dishes to the kitchen, made his bed and polished the table. I don’t know what else there is to do.”

“Beat the rug, wipe the floor…”

“What? But the maids…”

“No maids in the King’s chambers. Dust everything, and I mean everything, wash the curtains… you did remember to make the bed with new bed clothes, didn’t you?”

“But the old ones were perfectly fine…”

“Make the bed again with new bed clothes and wash the old ones, clean the windows, clean the fire place, get new wood… cinder wood. Er… get the tub in, my father bathes every night. Don’t forget to get the tub out again afterwards. Tonight, there will be dinner with the whole crowd, so get out his blue…”

Arthur broke off when he noticed how Merlin looked at him.

“I know.”

“I can’t… how… and the swords? The clothes? And oh… I forgot, the stable.” Merlin sat down next to Arthur on the rug. “I knew it… I’ll be dead tonight.”

Arthur combed through Merlin’s dark hair with his fingers for a moment, then he stood up and went to the door, opening it. He waved a guard over to him and said, “Get me Sir Gawain, quickly.”

***

Arthur put down one of his father’s capes and took a look at Merlin who was lying on Arthur’s bed, snoring slightly. He grimaced; it had been one hell of a day for all of them, including his knights.

Gawain had been delighted to help. At first. He had lost quite a bit of his good mood when Arthur had told him to get the King’s swords into his room and to start sharpen them. Yes, all of them. Arthur was sure Gawain would have gotten his smile back very quickly if he had seen Percival’s face when the prince had told him to muck out the King’s stable, disguised in a ratty old hooded gown.

Not to mention his other knights who had all washed, cleaned and stuck needles into their fingers the whole day, while Merlin had sat in the middle of the King’s chambers, petrified.

Arthur smiled and took another look at the exhausted man on his bed. From what Merlin was exhausted, the prince had no idea. Except for serving breakfast and dinner, Merlin had done nothing the whole day. Arthur stretched and then glanced at the two remaining capes. Well, he was almost finished. Afterwards, he would wake his manservant and make him pay for all that trouble in the most delightful way. If Arthur wasn’t too tired for it.

***

“Arthur, your father wants me to clean the covings of the fireplace. I don’t even know what he means by that!”

At dinner, Sir Henry was excused. Arthur had no idea when his knight would be clean again.

***

“Arthur, your father’s horse hates me. It tried to bite me while I was grooming it.”

Arthur sat in the middle of horse dung trying to catch his breath while Gawain tried to hide his grin. Dammit, that beast had a worse temper than the King.

***

“What does ironing mean?”

Arthur was sure Percival would hate him till eternity.

***

“Arthur, I have to say, I clearly underestimated your manservant. He of course is not as excellent as my Charles, but nevertheless… he isn’t bad.”

Arthur had problems to keep his face out of his soup bowl; he was too tired. The prince had been delighted when he had heard from Gaius that Charles was on his feet three days earlier then everyone had thought. Why Charles didn’t pretend to be sick forever, Arthur couldn’t venture a guess. He was very sure Charles didn’t have the same side benefits Merlin had by being Arthur’s servant. Or he hoped so. Alone the thought of Charles and his father… Arthur shuddered.

“The way you talk about him… it’s not very nice. I understand you can’t go around praising him, that would only go to his head. But a few kind words now and then won’t hurt.”

Arthur nodded. ‘Oh, oh… yes Merlin! YES!’ wasn’t good enough? He was sure Merlin knew how much Arthur appreciated him.

“By the way, son, what did you do to your knights these last days? Almost everyone of them looked dead on their feet.”

“I trained them real hard, Father. They have to be in good shape to protect Camelot. Father, would you mind if I retire to my chambers? I’m not really hungry tonight.”

“No, no, son. I wish you a good night.”

“Good night to you, too, Father.”

With that, Arthur dragged himself to his feet and towards his rooms.

***

After opening the doors and stumbling in, Arthur saw Merlin sitting on his bed, practically vibrating with pent up energy. He groaned inwardly.

“Whatever you want, forget it. I’m too tired for it.”

“Oh? No matter. You know what your father did? He complimented me on the good work! Isn’t that great?”

“Let me get this straight. You don’t mind me being not in the mood for sex, but you almost come in your pants because my father said something nice about the work you didn’t do? You are such an ass, Merlin.”

“Hey! Maybe you can bring yourself to understand some of this? Uther does not only think I’m a good little servant, he also didn’t discover I’m a warlock and your lover. I didn’t get flogged, hell, I wasn’t even in the stocks. It sounds like a success to me.”

“Yes. And all that happened because we were all working our asses off for you! I hope you still remember you sat around the last four days, looking scared, while everyone around you was doing your chores?”

“I do remember. And today I was thanking all of them. I just wanted to start to thank you when you came in with a face like a wounded… no, I won’t say it.”

“Thank you. But I hope you wanted to thank me in another way than you thanked Gawain.”

“Oh, I like Gawain. He looks gorgeous.”

“I can promise you, he doesn’t think that you do.”

“He said he likes my ears.”

“He said…”

Arthur broke off when a laughing Merlin draw him down on the mattress. The prince fell into the kiss and let his lover disrobe him; it was his duty anyway. And as always, Arthur wasn’t too tired after all.

The End.

Merlin Fic: See Me

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:41:18 GMT

Title: See Me
Summary: Merlin wonders if he had told one lie too many.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, H/C, Romance, Spoilers for Season One and Two, esp. Episode 08
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 2.521
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Many thanks to my awesome beta kelsrealm . I secretly think she is Superwoman. :D

Author’s notes: Merlin’s POV. This is kind of important; Merlin does not know everything about Arthur’s birth, like Uther and Gaius do. Just saying.

See Me

The moment Merlin closed his door, leaving the relieved physician behind, the smile left his face. Now you’ve done it, he thought. Some day in the future you will have to tell Arthur the truth about you, and that means he will know that you lied today.

Oh, Merlin knew that Uther wasn’t to blame for Ygraine’s death; Uther hadn’t known that the magic would take his wife away from him… nevertheless, the King was to blame for all the horrors that had happened and are yet to happen in Camelot. And Merlin was very sure that Arthur would not forgive him, the warlock, who had known all this.

Sitting down on his bed, Merlin rested his head in his hands. All he had wanted to do was protect Arthur from even more pain… and now he wondered if this was the one lie which would cost him Arthur’s complete trust in the future. As so often lately, a part in him had screamed that he should tell the Crown Prince the truth. The lies were piling up more and more… and at the same time, Arthur started to trust Merlin more and more. This was a disaster waiting to happen.

But Merlin couldn’t tell him the truth now, could he? And that was the other thing that happened frequently. There was never the right time… and his heart was telling him that when the time would come, it would be too late. Not too late for their destiny, but too late for trust, friendship and love. Arthur would unknowingly distance himself from the sorcerer; his pride would keep him away from more intimate feelings.

Merlin swiped his eyes with his sleeve impatiently. Neither Uther nor Gaius nor Arthur had backed Merlin into this corner; he managed that by himself. He could see himself in the future – on Arthur’s side, yes, but never close enough to touch, never close enough to feel.

But, as always, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t ask Gaius, he couldn’t ask Gwen… and the Dragon would probably fall off his rock and die laughing when it heard that the great warlock was in love with the Once and Future King.

Merlin swallowed and leaned back on the bed. There would be no sleep tonight, he just knew it. Not only the images of tonight haunted him; no, he just knew that somewhere out there was now an even more formidable enemy that Nimueh had been. What was it with women and their hatred? No sane man would ever…

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and before Merlin could say “Enter” or even sit up, the door was opened and one of the guards entered.

“Prince Arthur wants to see you now.”

Merlin just nodded and stood up, following the guard. He tried to ignore the voice of doom in his head.

***

Standing in front of Arthur’s door, Merlin tried to steel himself against everything that might happen now. He had no idea what Arthur wanted; hell, it hadn’t even been all too long since he had seen the prince. Merlin just knew that this wasn’t about mucking things out, or polishing, or lightening a fire. He couldn’t see the future but still… his hair was standing on end all over his body.

Whatever. Merlin knocked, didn’t wait for an answer and went in. Closing the door, he looked around. In the first moment, he thought himself alone but then he noticed some movement on the bed.

“Arthur?”

“Yeah, I’m here.”

Merlin eyes went wide. Arthur sounded… the sorcerer ran towards the bed and opened the curtains. Then he just stood and stared for a moment. Arthur seemed to be devastated, to say the least. Hair going in every direction, wet cheeks, red eyes… he looked like he had been crying for hours.

The prince threw a short glance at him; then he sighed and buried his face in one of the pillows.

“Oh shit, Merlin,” he said, almost to quiet to be heard, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have sent for you. Just… leave, alright?”

Merlin stood, frozen on the spot. In his mind, there was a war going on.

One side said, “leave. Just cover him with a blanket, and say goodnight. Don’t do anything stupid. Tomorrow, he will tell you that if you ever breathe a word to someone that he had been crying he will put you in the stocks. Be glad he isn’t his father; at least he won’t threaten you with a death sentence. Don’t be stupid!”

The other side said, “this. Now. This is your last chance to make things right. Don’t ask me how, I have no idea. But if you leave now, you will regret it forever. Do something. Hell, give him a hug. He surely looks like he needs one. For once in history, don’t be stupid. Don’t run away like a coward.”

The second voice won. Sending a prayer to the Gods, Merlin decided to stay and help. And if this would cost him his head in the end, so be it. The fact that Arthur had called for him, even being in this state, told him everything he needed to know.

Merlin slipped out of his boots and lay down beside the other man, putting his left hand on Arthur’s back. He had just started a gentle rubbing when the prince raised himself on his left elbow and drew Merlin into his arms. Arthur clutched him tight and started to cry earnestly. At first, Merlin wasn’t even able to make out the words between the sobs; he just held on as tight as he could. He knew, some tears had to be shed, and any attempts at hushing or soothing too soon would mean the tears would be closed down in the heart to be never wept.

Only the Gods knew how long Merlin held Arthur in his arms. After awhile, the prince calmed down some, but his grip on Merlin’s tunic got even tighter. The sorcerer just continued to stroke with one hand over the other man’s back while he petted his hair with his other hand. Merlin’s eyes were closed; he still didn’t know what to do or say.

Finally, the prince lifted his head and Merlin opened his eyes hesitantly. Arthur looked at him for the longest time.

“Why are you crying, Merlin?”

Merlin closed his eyes again. What should he say?

“Because… I can’t help you. I wish I could make the pain go away. I feel helpless and… Gods. Arthur. You don’t know… there is so much you don’t know and I’m so scared…”

Arthur leaned his forehead against Merlin’s.

“But you are helping me. Gods, Merlin, if not for you… I would have killed my father tonight. You were the only one who had been able to hold me back; I wouldn’t have listened to anyone else. You were right before, and I should have listened to you then; you tried to warn me from sorcery and… all of this was my fault. But thanks to you, it didn’t end in disaster.”

Arthur raised his head again and looked pathetically thankful at Merlin. Feeling helpless, Merlin looked back. He wondered if it was possible to die from guilt. In the next moment, the prince lowered his head slowly and started to kiss him carefully. Merlin’s heartbeat doubled as he opened his lips and felt the first hint of tongue between them. So he had been right; the prince loved him, wanted him. Everything Merlin had ever wanted was his; he owned Arthur’s heart and…

With an unbelievable effort, Merlin drew his mouth back; he scrambled to the end of the mattress, away from Arthur.

“I can’t. Gods, Arthur, I can’t. Not like this…”

Before his eyes, Arthur paled. His eyes were large, dark, disappointed and guilty at the same time.

“Merlin. I’m so sorry… I thought you… forgive me. Please. Please, I won’t…”

“No! No. I do. I really do want to… it’s just…,” Merlin closed his eyes for a moment, “I want you to see me. To really see me. And you can’t. And so I cannot…”

“What do you mean, I don’t see you? I see you. I lo…”

Merlin leaned forward quickly and put his hand over Arthur’s mouth.

“Don’t say it. Not now. I have to tell you something first, and when you still want to say it afterwards, I will more than welcome it. I’m yours anyway. Please remember this, no matter what you will hear now, I’m yours.”

“So speak. But know this; no matter what you will say, my feelings won’t change.”

Merlin swiped his eyes again and again; for the life of him, he couldn’t stop crying. But he wanted one last clear look at Arthur; at an Arthur, who didn’t know, who loved him. Then he took a deep breath.

“My mother sent me to Camelot to become Gaius’ apprentice because she feared for me. In Ealdor, people had begun to suspect that something’s not right with me. And when I arrived in Camelot, the first thing I saw was a sorcerer being beheaded and your father wanting to celebrate this with a feast. I… I didn’t know that magic was forbidden here. I don’t know if my mother knew this… I just don’t know. I try to not think about it because… you see, I’m a… warlock.”

Before what he just had said could register in Arthur’s expression, Merlin closed his eyes. He went on.

“I knew I had to keep my head down. I mean, I’m not evil. I didn’t seek out magic, I didn’t learn spells, I was born this way. It was hard to hide it, and I admit, there were times here where I didn’t want to hide anymore. Gai… the people who knew told me I’m special, that I’m born of the old religion. But I really tried to not do things with magic, but… then this crazy woman almost killed you and your father made me your manservant. And suddenly, everyone tried to kill you in some way. Spelled shields, poison, monsters, enchantresses, other warlocks… hell, obviously even children are after you. Someone told me I should protect you and so I did. Or tried to. Believe me, I wanted to tell you, but there was never the right time. And you were often so… hostile about magic. So I didn’t tell you. But in the last weeks, there wasn’t a day when I didn’t think about it. But I was scared. I didn’t think you would kill me, but I was afraid you… you wouldn’t… I’m in love with you. I didn’t want to lose you.”

Merlin paused, still with closed eyes. He couldn’t hear a sound except his own heartbeat; there was no movement either.

“Alright. Today… today was awful. Morgause… yes, she is a sorceress. But I think she didn’t enchant you. I’ve seen it before, the old religion is so powerful. I really think you saw your mother today, Arthur, and…”

Sudden movement startled Merlin; he broke off and opened his eyes. Stunned, he saw Arthur race over to the table and grab his sword. Gods. So the prince would kill him… Vacantly, he watched the other man draw the sword and go over to the door and… In the last moment, Merlin realised what was going on. He held out his hand and voiced a quick spell; the door locked immediately. Arthur tried in vain to open it. Finally, he turned around to the warlock sitting on the bed.

“Open it!”

“No. Listen, Arthur…”

“Open it! Now! Do you hear me?”

“No. Before I open it, you have to hear me out. Your father didn’t kill your mother; he isn’t guilty of that.”

“You just said…”

“I don’t think your mother knew what happened then. Nor did your father. I knew the person guilty for what happened to your mother, and she is dead. You remember the woman at the cave, where you got the flower for me? Nimueh? She made the deal with your father. A life for a life; and I doubt she told him that. Believe me, please, I knew her. I once tried to give my life for… er… doesn’t matter. But she didn’t take my life, she almost killed my mother and then Gaius. She was evil. I don’t know everything about your birth and the deal, but as much as I hate your father… he didn’t kill your mother, I’m sure of that. He is a hypocrite, yes, and he is blinded by his hate and fear, but still… it’s not his fault that your mother is dead.”

Merlin’s shoulders slumped, he was exhausted. Under his lashes, he saw the prince coming his way, the sword still in his hand.

“Are you sure?”

Merlin looked tiredly up at Arthur.

“Yes. I know how all that must sound to you. And I know you are not able to trust a warlock,” Merlin pointed at the sword. “Just go ahead then.”

Arthur stared at him for a minute, and then he looked at the sword as if he was surprised that he still held it in his hand. In the next second, the sword crashed to the floor and Arthur dropped on his knees in front of Merlin, grasping his arms.

“Do you really think it was my mother? Not only some image conjured by Morgause?”

“I… yes. I really think it was your mother. And remember, how happy she was to see you, how proud she was… ah, Arthur.”

Merlin went down on the floor and embraced the prince, who came apart in his arms for the second time tonight. This time, he could make out some words between the sobs, “… remembered her… so happy… not enough time… never see her again…” And Merlin, feeling light hearted and saddened at the same time, held on.

After some minutes, Arthur nestled more comfortable against Merlin and hustled him slightly; looking up at him.

“A warlock, huh?”

“I’m afraid so, yes. How do you feel about that?”

Arthur gazed at him some more, then he sighed.

“Honestly? I don’t know yet. It’s a bit much today.”

Merlin bit his lips; he tried hard to stamp down on his disappointment. He knew he should feel lucky that Arthur still let him be near. But…

“I may need some time to get used to that, Merlin. But I’m grateful that you told me, especially today. I do know one thing though. As I said before, nothing can change how I feel. Well, if you had told me you’re in love with Lancelot, I may have killed myself. But otherwise…”

For that, Merlin slapped Arthur over the head. And not too gently. Arthur smiled slightly, clearly at the end of his rope.

“So, can I say it now? Or is there something else?”

Merlin swallowed.

“No, nothing else.”

“I love you, Merlin. And I see you. Wow, I really see y…”

The rest was cut off by Merlin’s lips.

The End.

Merlin Fic: The Sable Smoke

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 14:56:15 GMT

Title: The Sable Smoke
Summary: The prince was shaking all over, his mail was drenched in blood; Merlin’s blood.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Spoilers for Season One and Two
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: ~ 3.000
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Author’s notes: Hurt!Merlin, Angsting!Arthur

All my thanks go to my wonderful beta kelsrealm . You are the best! All mistakes are my own.

The Sable Smoke

Arthur carried Merlin in his arms into the tent and lowered him slowly on the small cot. The prince was shaking all over, his mail was drenched in blood; Merlin’s blood. Behind him, Sir Acton was still stammering nonsense.

“Shut up, Acton! Spare me your apologies. I told you to look out for him!”

“He didn’t stay where…”

“I told you to keep your tongue. Leave. Now!”

Arthur tore away the remaining shreds of Merlin’s tunic and trousers -Gods, he hadn’t even worn chain mail- and took the first real look at the wound. The deep gash started at Merlin’s right chest and ran down to his hipbone; it was bleeding profoundly. Arthur just stared at it for a moment. He didn’t know what to do. They were too far away from the castle and there was no physician anywhere. They had been on a hunting trip, for God’s sake, deep in the woods. Who could have known that there were raiders in the forest? Raiders, well endowed with swords and arrows. Arthur and his few knights had been almost overrun by them.

The moment the fighting had begun, Arthur had told Merlin to stay back in the tent, leaving Acton with him. Sir Acton, one of his father’s knights, was worth shit when it came to a fight to the death; Arthur had been aware of this. And then… Merlin hadn’t only outrun that idiot, he had also thrown himself between one of the raiders and the prince, and had taken the blow meant for Arthur himself.

Arthur blinked a few times, to get his blurry sight under control. He started to fold Merlin’s trousers and pressed it against the wound. This was completely useless, as he knew. With his other hand, also bloody, he felt again for Merlin’s heartbeat. How the other man could still be alive, the prince didn’t know. Both of them were covered in blood; no one could lose so much blood and still be breathing. But Merlin was still breathing, although he was deeply unconscious.

The trousers Arthur was pressing against the gash were already soaked with blood. He needed a doctor, right now. The wound had to be cleaned and sewed, and there was nothing here to deal with that.

Behind Arthur, the tent flapped open again. The prince turned halfway, preparing to yell at Acton again. But it wasn’t Uther’s knight, it was Sir Gawain, Arthur’s youngest knight. He came over quickly to the cot and kneeled beside the prince.

“How is he, Sire?”

Arthur just shook his head for a moment.

“I have no idea why he is still alive. Take a look at that. He needs stitches. He needs Gaius. I can’t do anything for…” Arthur’s voice broke off. He saw Gawain looking at him for a moment, and then his knight clasped a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

“Maybe I can help out. I brought some stuff…”

Gawain stood up and ran out; only to come back a few seconds later with his saddle bag. He dug into it for awhile and then brought out black yarn and a needle. Arthur looked at his knight, speechless. Gawain blushed a little.

“Don’t ask, Sire. I once ripped my trousers… well, as I said, don’t ask.”

“I won’t. Are you sure we can use that?”

“Sire, I don’t think we have much choice here. Let’s get him on his left side. I’ll hold the wound together and you put in the stitches, alright?”

Arthur nodded. He wasn’t too sure about his capability to actually stick a needle into Merlin’s skin, but it had do be done, Gawain was right. He just wished his hands wouldn’t shake so much. Clenching his fists, he willed himself to relax. Then he helped Gawain turning Merlin on his side, took the yarn and the needle and started his awful task.

***

About half an hour later, it was over. Gawain had brought in hot water, they had cleaned the wound after the stitching, bandaged it, and after the knight had taken a look at the prince, he had cleaned Arthur’s hands as well and helped him undress. Afterwards he had taken the soiled chain mail with him and had said to Arthur that he would send Sir Richard to the castle at once to get Gaius. Arthur had just nodded; he knew Gaius would reach them at the earliest two days from now on. He already dreaded that it would be too late then.

Buried under every fur and blanket they could find; only Merlin’s head was showing. The skin was ashen, his lips almost white and he had dark circles around his closed eyes. Arthur swallowed again. Merlin looked… dead. The prince had seen too many men dying to not recognize the signs. Sitting down carefully at the wounded man’s side, Arthur laid a hand on his forehead. The skin felt clammy and too hot. Fever was setting in. Arthur stroked the dark hair back and leaned towards the unconscious man.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Merlin, is that understood? Don’t you dare. I can’t… I just can’t, alright?”

Arthur stared for a moment at Merlin, and then went on.

“Why did you do that? Do you really think I want to stay here without you? Why didn’t you use your damn magic? So what if the others had seen it? I told you so often that it wouldn’t matter; that I would find a way. That we would find a way. It’s not worth dying for. Nothing is worth that.”

Sinking down on the floor beside the cot, Arthur buried his face in his hands. This couldn’t happen. They hadn’t had enough time yet. Hell, there would never be enough time for them. But now… only weeks after…

Arthur searched for Merlin’s hand under the covers and gripped it tight.

“You won’t die, you hear me? You won’t. I won’t let you.”

***

Arthur woke up slowly. Every muscle in his body hurt, and he had had awful dreams about blood, screaming and black lines disfiguring perfect skin. He looked around bleary for a moment… why was he lying on the floor? Where was… he sat up abruptly, reaching frantically for his manservant. Gods, why did I fell asleep? What if… the moment his hands made contact with Merlin’s face, Arthur took a deep breath. The sorcerer was still alive, although the fever had spiked. Merlin felt very hot, and he had started to thrash around, throwing off the blankets.

Arthur immediately wetted one of the shreds of the tunic with the remaining, now cool water and laid it on Merlin’s forehead. Then he tried to catch the other man’s arms and began to calm him down.

“Shhhh… it’s alright, it’s alright. Hush… Merlin? Merlin, can you hear me? Be still, love, I beg you… you will only hurt yourself even more.”

Arthur somehow managed to get the blankets over Merlin’s body again. The hurt man moaned quietly, and made whimpering sounds. He didn’t react to Arthur’s voice at all; he seemed to get more agitated by the minute. The prince stared desperately at Merlin, and then he rose and opened the tent.

It was still dark outside, with only a hint of dawn showing at the horizon. They had made their camp yesterday on the top of a small hill; now Arthur could see his men lying around the still glowing fire pit a few feet below him. The bodies of the raiders were piled up on the left side, with the man who hurt Merlin on the top. Arthur wished he could kill him over and over again. Finally he tore his eyes away and looked for Gawain. Rushing forward, he woke his knight.

“I need your help, Gawain. Merlin is burning up, I can’t leave him alone. I need cool water, as soon as possible.”

The knight stumbled to his feet.

“Of course, Sire, I will bring it to you. I think I saw a black nightshade yesterday, it could help with the fever.”

With that, Sir Gawain grabbed two buckets and started running down in the direction of the stream. Arthur stared at the back of his knight. He marveled at the knowledge this young man had. The prince had always looked a bit disparagingly at the man; Gawain had barely managed knighthood. Until now, Arthur had thought the only thing of interest for Gawain were beautiful maids who were all to willing to be chased around the court by the handsome knight.

While the prince went back to the tent, he swore to himself that if Gawain helped to keep Merlin alive until Gaius arrived, he would do anything in his power to train Gawain until he would be one of the best knights Camelot has ever seen.

***

A few hours later, Arthur was exhausted and more than thankful for Gawain. They had cooled down Merlin as best as they could, changing the fast warming rags with cool ones. The young knight had somehow made some brew from the nightshade; and they were now both trying to get some of it down Merlin’s throat. The moment they managed some drops, Merlin started coughing it up at once. But both men persisted and finally they forced some of the brew into Merlin’s mouth and he swallowed it.

Just as Arthur breathed a sigh of relief, Merlin went wild. No, not Merlin; Merlin’s magic went wild. A quiet humming started, and then, while the sorcerer’s head went back and forth on his pillow, blue and golden sparks were flashing all over his body.

Arthur watched for a few seconds and then he threw a glance at his knight. Gawain’s eyes were wide open as he took in the sight before him. Then he blinked a few times and looked at the prince.

“Gawain, look…”

“My Lord, please don’t. I won’t say a word.”

“Why?”

“I like Merlin. And… well, I think he’s good for you, Sire.”

Gawain smirked.

“What do you… who are you? I always thought…”

“That I’m a little slow? Yes, you are right. I’m too slow with the sword. But I have watched you both, Sire. It isn’t too hard to see when you know what you’re looking for.”

“You can drop the Sire, Gawain. My name is Arthur. At least when my father isn’t around.”

Turning away from his stunned looking knight -this stuns him, not the fact that I have a male lover who is also a warlock- Arthur sat down beside Merlin and watched the last sparks flying around. But suddenly he saw something much more beautiful. Two very tired, bewildered looking blue eyes.

“Merlin?”

“Arthur? What…?”

“Hush. Relax. Are you hurting?”

“Uh… yes?”

Merlin didn’t seem to be too sure about that. His eyes were still glazed; he obviously was still very feverish. But Arthur couldn’t help himself; he smiled.

“Si… er, Arthur, I’ll take my leave now. If you need anything, just call, alright?”

The prince turned around and looked at his knight.

“Thank you, Gawain. I mean that. I won’t forget anything you did here.”

The young man blushed, hesitated, took a little bow and left quickly. Arthur shook his head; who would have thought that Gawain of all people behaved like…

“Arthur?”

“Hey. You should sleep, Merlin.”

“What happened?”

The prince grimaced.

“Not now, Merlin. I want you to be fully awake and well when I start screaming at you, alright?”

“That… sounds like a good plan.”

Merlin’s eyes were already closing, his breath deepening. Arthur laid a hand on Merlin’s cheek; it seemed to be a little cooler already. Although the prince didn’t know if it had been the nightshade or the magic, he was deeply grateful for it.

Long after the sorcerer had fallen asleep, Arthur sat on his side, stroking his face and petting his hair. He even kissed Merlin’s nose from time to time; Merlin hated that so Arthur could only get away with it when the other man was sleeping, like now. Arthur’s smile deepened.

***

“What…? You’re on bed rest! What are you doing?”

“Arthur, I just took a look out of the window. I won’t die from that.”

“Back to bed, now. Or I will sic Gaius on you!”

Merlin made a face at the prince and tottered back to the royal bed. After he had lain down, Arthur was already all over him, pulling furs and blankets over his servant.

“Arthur. Please, don’t make such a fuss. I feel fine, really.”

“Gaius told me otherwise. You have to be careful for the next weeks. And that means no running around, no lifting things and NO magic!”

“No sex?”

“NO sex!”

Merlin sighed. He fiddled with a few threads from one of the blankets, and then he looked up at the prince again, pouting.

“You’re no fun at all, Arthur.”

“You are right, I’m not. A few days ago, I thought you were dying. I… I can’t believe you did such a stupid thing! You hadn’t even a mail, let alone a sword or something! What were you thinking? Oh, no, don’t answer that, I know, you weren’t thinking at all!”

Merlin raised both hands.

“Whoa, Almighty Lord, calm down, alright? Firstly, you said you would wait until I’m okay again before you start screaming. And when I’m not allowed to look out of the window, I’m certainly not well. Secondly,” Merlin’s voice got louder, “what should I have done? That blow would have killed you! And don’t even dare to tell me you would have blocked it! You hadn’t even seen it coming!”

“I was wearing an armour, idiot! You know, that thing that you polish from time to time?”

“He would have knocked your feet out from under you and have killed you then!”

“Really? Now you have the gift of the sight, too? I don’t think so. And when we are talking about your gifts… why haven’t you used magic, huh?”

“Gods, Arthur, you know why! What, you want me to leave Camelot? Or be beheaded? Or do you think you can convince your father to let me be your pet magician? You know as well as I do, no one can know about this!”

Arthur leaned back against one bedpost and looked at his red faced lover. One thing hadn’t changed, Merlin was an utter moron.

“Now listen to me, sweetheart. No one can know? I hate to tell you this, but quite a few people know that already. Myself, Gaius, Lancelot, Gawain and that boy you hate so much, Mordred.”

Arthur saw the sorcerer opening his mouth and raised a hand.

“Let me finish. All of them, except Mordred maybe, know also that you are my lover. And believe me one thing, Merlin: My father knows that you are my lover, too. He just overlooks it; he thinks I will outgrow you. Why do you think that no one raises one eyebrow about the fact that you are lying in my bed for the last days?”

Merlin’s mouth stood open for a few seconds, and then he snapped it shut.

“Your father knows I’m your lover?” He whispered.

“Oh yes, he does. I think he is glad right now that I won’t produce any unwanted offspring.”

“Wow. Wait a minute… what do you mean, Gawain knows about my magic?”

“Well, after we got some of the black nightshade brew into you, you were sparkling all over with gold and blue colours. Hard to explain this otherwise. By the way, do you know why the black nightshade started your magic?”

Merlin looked down at his hands again, mumbling something.

“What?”

Sighing, the sorcerer said, “it wasn’t black nightshade.”

“What do you mean? Do you think it was by chance that your magic chose exactly that moment to came out and play?”

“No, you misunderstand me. It wasn’t black nightshade that Gawain picked up, it was deadly nightshade; you may know that better under the name ‘Belladonna’.”

“Wasn’t that the stuff the witchfinder used for the hallucinations?”

“Yes. But there are other uses… one of them is reducing fever, so Gawain was right. It’s also used… for love spells and potions.”

Arthur was confused; he had no idea why Merlin looked so… shaken.

“What is it? I loved you before… so…”

“No, that’s not it. You… just won’t like what I have to say.”

“When do I ever, Merlin?” Arthur asked, stroking over Merlin’s cheek gently. The other man huffed quietly and brought his left hand up to rest on the prince’s hand.

“I… I really think I was dying, Arthur. There was black smoke wavering all around me and… I think I have seen the Sidhe…” Merlin sighed again. “And then suddenly there was fire, first in the distance and then all around me. I guess that was the moment when I swallowed the nightshade.”

“Why fire?” Arthur asked shakily. To even think that he had been so close to lose this man… he could barely stand it.

“Your element, Arthur. You are Fire. I’m not sure but maybe the nightshade connected with my love for you. I don’t know.”

Merlin broke off, turned his head slightly and kissed Arthur’s palm. The prince embraced the other man carefully, drew him as tight as he dared. Nosing through Merlin’s hair, Arthur tried to get some comfort from the familiar smell and the warmth from the man in his arms.

***

Merlin huddled close, but his eyes were distant. An image from another time appeared before him, cloudy, full of smoke. An image of a Sword and a Failure… no. No. The warlock closed his eyes. As Arthur had said, he didn’t have the gift of the sight.

The End.

“Death, the sable smoke where vanishes the flame.”
Lord Byron, Childe Harold's Pilgrimage

Short Notice.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:32:20 GMT

SGA Big Bang fics are up!

Here: http://community.livejournal.com/sgabigbangfb/

Merlin Fic: Coming Out

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:17:45 GMT

Title: Coming out
Summary: Merlin leaned back and sighed. He really hoped he could do this.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Schmoop, some Angst, Episode related, Spoilers for Season One and Two (especially Ep 07)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 2.511
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Author’s notes: This is schmoopy. Really schmoopy.

As always, my thanks go to my great beta kelsrealm who is not only awesome but also willing to put up with the same mistakes over and over again. All mistakes are my own.

Coming Out

Merlin couldn’t sleep.

He had been standing for an hour in the dark, watching Gaius sleep. There was not even the trace of a smile on the sorcerer’s face.

Finally, Merlin had torn his eyes away from the fragile old man and he had left their chambers, walking through the dark halls aimlessly. Everyone else had seemed to be asleep, no doubt exhausted from the events that had happened in the last days.

After awhile, Merlin had found himself in front of Morgana’s rooms. He had listened for a long time to her helpless sobs and Gwen’s increasingly desperate attempts to calm her. His eyes downcast, he had wandered further through the castle, coming to a stop in front of Uther’s chamber. The guard in front of its door was deeply asleep, too.

Merlin had stared at that door. The sorcerer had felt a hate so deep he had been afraid of it. It would be so simple to kill this man. Not only let him be killed, like he wanted to a few months ago; no, now Merlin himself wanted to murder the King. He had heard again all the blabber Uther had told over and over about what a good friend Gaius was, how the King would now forever trust the physician. The King may have told his son that no one should believe one word that came out of a sorcerer’s mouth; in Merlin’s opinion, no one could believe one word the King was saying.

Merlin had sighed and gone on after awhile. There was only one thing that had kept him back from actually committing murder. He had known how much pain he would bring to Arthur. The prince loved his father, although Merlin was sure there were times Arthur had hated Uther, too. After a few more steps Merlin had admitted to himself there were more reasons for not killing the King. Firstly, Merlin had brought this whole disaster on with this stupid smoke spell he had tried. Secondly, he really doubted he could kill anyone in cold blood. But still… something had do be done now.

And so, some time later Merlin found himself sitting on a stone bench in front of a large window, staring out at the pitch black courtyard. Thoughts were tumbling around in his head and all of them led to one conclusion. Merlin had to tell Arthur the truth. He needed the prince on his side; he needed Arthur to know so Merlin could stop hiding the truth and bringing danger to other people. He just had to gather enough strength to tell the prince and trust that he would not react badly.

Merlin leaned back and sighed. He really hoped he could do this.

***

There was still light shining out in the hall from under Arthur’s door. Obviously the prince was the one person in Camelot beside Merlin who also couldn’t sleep.

The sorcerer took a deep breath and knocked.

“Enter.”

Merlin opened the door, went in and locked the door behind him. There was no need at all for any interruptions in the next minutes. His eyes fell on the prince who leaned at the stone wall beside one of the windows.

“Merlin.”

“Arthur.”

Both men looked at each other for a few moments, and then Arthur raised his eyebrows.

“Why are you here, Merlin, in the middle of the night? Couldn’t sleep? And do tell, why have you locked the door?”

“You’re right, I couldn’t sleep. Arthur, I have to talk to you…” Merlin looked at the prince expectantly.

The other man just looked at him, and after a few seconds he asked, “well?”

“I was just waiting for your usual speech about you telling me when we have to talk.”

Sighing, Arthur left his spot at the window and went over to his bed, sitting down.

“I really think we have left those things behind us, don’t we? Talk.”

Merlin tried to get a grip on the mood Arthur was in. He seemed tired and kind of sad, as if the prince had taken a weight on his shoulders he couldn’t bear. Merlin had no idea what was going on, except for the madness of the last hours.

Opening his mouth, Merlin closed his eyes. Here went nothing. He had to do this.

“Arthur… look, I have to tell you something… about me. This can’t go on the way it has. Just, please, try to listen, alright? You won’t like what I will say, but please listen…”

“Merlin…”

“No, don’t interrupt. I have to get this out in one piece or I will muck everything up.”

Merlin stared at Arthur. The other man stared right back. Then the prince started to pet the air, and for a moment Merlin freaked, because he couldn’t figure out… Ah well.. Continue. Right.

“This is hard. I think I should have told you earlier, but always when I had thought the right time was there, something had happened and I couldn’t tell you. Er…”

Merlin’s brain was frightingly empty. Just say it, idiot, he thought. It’s not so difficult, just a few words. Spit it out!

“Ah… I’m… I’m a…” Gods! “I can do magic. I’m a warlock. You know, lots of things that had happened in the last year that… had been me. Lots of things. But I’m not… evil. Or dangerous. Alright, maybe sometimes I can be dangerous but not to you. Er… I didn’t study this or something like that. It’s... I’ve always been like that, you know? My mother didn’t know what to do… er…. I don’t know my father. Maybe he… I don’t know? I just… came here and then the drag… er… someone told me I should protect you and it’s insane I know but…”

Gods in Heaven, why didn’t Arthur say something? Anything? Merlin tore his eyes away from the floor and looked at the prince. The depressed air around Arthur had vanished, he wasn’t so pale anymore. And he looked amused. Amused!

“Why are you smiling? You don’t believe me? That’s just great! Wait, I will show you!”

Merlin looked around frantically and then he felt his eyes flashing and one of Arthur’s battle axes flew right behind him and imbedded itself in the door.

“Er…”

Maybe that hadn’t been the right way to show Arthur his magic? Throwing around deadly weapons wasn’t exactly harmless.

“Look, Arthur, that wasn’t… um, I’m not doing stuff like that usually. Just when someone throws an axe at me, well… I think I shut up now.”

Merlin’s shoulders slumped. That had been a stunning success, he could already tell it.

“Merlin, do you think I’m an idiot? No, wait, don’t answer that, I doubt I would like it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you’re a sorcerer. I’ve known this since Ealdor.”

“What?! That… that can’t be!”

“No? I’ll tell you something, I had suspected this even before Ealdor. I was sure of it afterwards. I started watching you… and in the last weeks, Merlin… I’m telling you, everyone who would have watched would have seen it. You weren’t exactly careful. Didn’t you ever ask yourself why I took you with me everywhere on any day?”

Merlin felt his ears getting hot. He had noticed that, but he had come to a different explanation. A wrong explanation, obviously.

“And even if I hadn’t suspected a thing in the past, do you remember yesterday when I let you have a few minutes with Gaius? You do realize that I had been outside that cell the whole time, listening to you talk to Gaius about magic? Do you think I’m deaf?”

Completely aghast, Merlin stared at the prince. He had never even thought about Arthur at that time. Gods, he was… an utter moron. He obviously hadn’t thought of the prince as a danger to him anymore.

“I do have two questions, though. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Merlin winced. He had known that Arthur would ask that question, and he had thought of an answer. He had wanted to tell him that Merlin hadn’t wanted to burden the prince with this… keeping it a secret would have meant Arthur had to betray his father. And although there was some truth here, it was also an utter lie. Merlin didn’t want to lie anymore.

“I… I was scared of how you would react. I know how much you hate it when someone lies to you. We’re friends. And I had lied to you the whole time. I thought you wouldn’t like…”

Merlin broke off. He wasn’t able to finish this sentence; it was too pathetic. Looking up at the other man again, he felt bewildered. Arthur had relaxed completely now, was leaning back on his elbows and he had a smile on his face.

“Doesn’t any of this upset you?”

“No, not really,” Arthur said, his smile deepening.

Merlin stared helplessly at the prince. This smile drew him in like a candle light would draw a moth. He was out of his depth here; he had been prepared for everything but not this… smile.

“Why?”

“I am glad you’re not lying to me anymore. Come here.”

Arthur petted a place on the bed right next to him. Staring at the hand on the bed, Merlin wavered over to the other man. Maybe he was dreaming this; Arthur couldn’t be so… friendly in reality, could he? As he sat down on the bed, the prince sat up and leaned closed to the sorcerer. He kept right on smiling.

“Thank you for telling me the truth… finally.”

“Arthur, do you feel alright? You’re starting to creep me out.”

“I feel perfectly fine.”

“Huh. Er… you said you had two questions?”

“Ah yes, thank you for reminding me.”

Silence.

“Well?”

“Why did you blush?”

Merlin stared at Arthur. His mouth was opening and closing, and he had the feeling he looked like a fish. A very red fish. He was blushing all over again, in a way he never had before in his whole life.

“W…what?”

“You’re blushing like crazy. Why?”

“Because… I’m relieved?”

Arthur tilted his head to one side, his eyebrows went up again. The smile stayed, though.

“Really? Come on, Merlin, don’t start lying again.”

“I’m not… look, what do you want me to say?”

Merlin tried to get up from the bed; he needed some distance to this smiling stranger beside him. But Arthur would have none of that. He laid a hand on Merlin’s chest and pushed; the sorcerer fell down on his back between the sheets and stared at Arthur who was now looming over him.

“Don’t lie to me, Merlin.”

Arthur was so close that Merlin could feel his breath on his face and see golden specks in the prince’s blue and affectionate eyes. Alright. This was a dream, obviously. Not the first one, and not the last one. Pity. Merlin wasn’t too sure that he would be able to get this whole ‘I am a warlock’ speech out again. But, there were certain benefits to dreams. Merlin could do whatever he liked. He just hoped he wouldn’t wake up too soon.

“I… well, I hoped you would have kept me around so much because you liked me. Really liked me,” Merlin said and smiled. Then he raised one hand and began to stroke gently through the prince’s blond hair.

Arthur’s eyes became big and surprised. Then he laughed softly, nestling his cheek against Merlin’s hand.

“You know, I would have never thought you would actually say this.”

“Oh, I know now, I can tell you anything. This is my dream, I can do whatever I want, you know?”

Merlin started to pull on Arthur’s tunic; he wasn’t even disappointed when Arthur caught his hand. He was used to the prince being weird even in his dreams.

“Merlin… Merlin, you don’t really think you’re dreaming this, do you?”

“Of course I’m dreaming this. You haven’t yelled once, you look at me like you care about me… but I have to tell you, usually it isn’t so bloody difficult to get you out of these clothes!”

Merlin started to lose his patience. Only the clothes didn’t vanish, no, Arthur sat up, grabbed both his hands and held them over Merlin’s head, pressing them on the bed. Alright, that had potential, too. Dominant Arthur. Merlin could deal with that. He wetted his lips and tried a sultry look; with the result that Arthur immediately released him and started to laugh helplessly. This was one weird dream.

“Merlin, this is not a dream. Though I admit,” Arthur said, still laughing, “I’m impressed by the fact that you had dreams like this. I’m in awe, really.”

“Arthur, I’m telling you, of course… ow! Hey!”

Merlin slapped at the prince’s head, and then rubbed the spot where he just got pinched by said prince. Moron.

“Well, what do you want me to do? I had to snap you out of this dream state of yours. Nothing will happen here as long as you think you’re dreaming, and I’m impatient.”

“I’m not dreaming?”

“No.”

“Gods.” Merlin felt the blush coming back with a vengeance. What also came back was Arthur’s face, leaning close to him. “So… you don’t mind me being a warlock?”

“No. Although I would appreciate it if you could stop doing magic in front of my father. I hate being scared shitless.”

“Er… and you don’t mind me liking you? I mean, really liking you?”

“No. And no, I’m not surprised either. I had watched you real close these last months, Merlin.”

With that, Arthur’s mouth descended on Merlin’s. The sorcerer immediately opened his lips and clung close to the other man. He felt Arthur’s hands getting under his tunic and beginning to stroke softly over his stomach. Merlin shivered full of excitement. But there was still one thing… He gently grabbed Arthur’s head and raised it a bit. The prince stared at him out of nearly black eyes, hair sticking up in every direction. He didn’t seem to be overjoyed by the interruption.

“What now?”

“Does that mean… you like me, too? Really like me?”

“Ungh.” Arthur let his head drop down on Merlin’s neck and he made himself comfortable at once, nibbling at the sensitive skin there. Merlin moaned quietly. This was marvelous. Of course, it stopped the moment he thought about it.

“No, Merlin, it means I can’t stand you. I abhor everything about you. Gods! And you have the nerve to call me a prat.”

“It’s just… a little sudden. You have to admit that, at least.”

“No, it’s not. I have just waited for you to trust me enough to tell me the truth. And yes, I really, really, REALLY like you. Anything else?”

“No, you can… go ahead now. I’m fine, very fine...”

Just before his brain said goodbye and left the room, Merlin had one last thought. Gods, now how do I explain this to Gaius? Great. One secret gone… the next already waiting.

The End.

Merlin Fic: Missing Merlin

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:22:53 GMT

Title: Missing Merlin
Summary: Arthur didn’t miss Merlin. No one did. Really.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Humour, Romance, Action/Adventure, Spoilers for Season One and Two (including Episode 6, Beauty and the Beast, Part II)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 6.313
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

My thanks go as always to my awesome beta kelsrealm who broke a speed record with this one. All mistakes are my own.

Missing Merlin

„You bastard!“

Merlin barely managed to duck the helmet he saw coming his way. He tried to get around Arthur to flee out of the door but there was no way. Gods. This was a disaster.

“You… you treacherous little asshole!”

It didn’t seem that Arthur would calm down any time soon. Merlin would have liked to say something but his brain had stopped functioning the moment the door had banged open. The prince had come in while his sword was still hanging in the air, getting sharpened by itself. The sorcerer wondered how he could have been so stupid to work magic in Arthur’s rooms. At the same time, he wondered if he would have the time to find an answer for his question. The Crown Prince had a murderous look in his eyes.

“You… come here!”

Yeah sure, Merlin thought. Not on your life. By now, they had surrounded the table for the third time. He was concerned about what would happen when the prince caught him. Merlin didn’t think he had to worry about getting his head chopped off; he was sure he wouldn’t make it out of this room alive. So much for hoping Arthur would be calm when he found out. Destiny. Two sides of a coin. Cannot hate the other half that makes it whole. The Dragon was demented.

Suddenly, the prince stopped the chasing and stared at Merlin, a look of betrayal on his face.

“You’re a warlock? That explains a lot. Tell me, Merlin, how did you manage to enchant my father to get near to me, huh?”

Merlin started seething at once. This arse!

“What do you mean, enchant your father? Are you mad? Your father made me your manservant because I saved your live, you ass! Get near to you! As if I had wanted to get near the biggest idiot I’ve ever known!”

Now, this had been a mistake. Merlin had stopped paying attention to Arthur because he had been too furious to get his speech out without spitting; and now he found himself dragged over the table by his scarf. In the next moment, he was smashed against the stone wall by the equally furious prince.

“Ow! Let go…”

Bang. Merlin’s head impacted with the wall behind him for the second time and he felt Arthur’s hands closing around his throat. He kicked the prince’s shin hard but Arthur didn’t even flinch. His hands pressed against Merlin’s neck and the sorcerer began to struggle in earnest. He couldn’t breath. Arthur would actually kill him right here and there was nothing…

Abruptly, the prince let go of him and Merlin crashed to the floor. He was wheezing and coughing, drawing the scarf away and feeling for his throat. Looking up at the prince, he didn’t know if he should be expecting some kicking or being dragged down to the dungeons next.

Arthur’s face was very pale now. He stared down at Merlin for a moment and then slowly backed off.

“Get out,” the prince said hoarsly. “Get out, and leave Camelot. Now. I don’t ever want to see you again in my life. Is that understood? If I should see you again I will personally hold the torch to your stake.”

“Arthur… don’t! Please, just think for a moment and…”

Merlin felt himself being hoisted up and literally thrown across the room; he ended smashing headfirst into the wooden door, going down again. His head was spinning.

“Shut up, traitor. Shut up and fuck off as long as you still can. Or I will throw you in the dungeons and Gaius right behind you, you hear me?”

“Gaius? Gaius didn’t do any…”

Ungh. Maybe Merlin should really shut up now. He didn’t know how much abuse his head could stand anymore. But Gaius…

“Just leave, Merlin,” Arthur said in a deadly voice. “Don’t even think about gathering your things or running around the castle to do even more harm than you have already done. Just leave as long as you can before I change my mind about letting you leave.”

“I will. I will. Just please… promise me you won’t hurt Gaius. He has got nothing to do with me… please, Arthur!”

For a moment, Merlin thought that Arthur would go for his throat again. Then he saw the prince taking a deep breath.

“Gaius is no concern of mine, as long as you heed my words. Leave.”

Merlin turned around, opened the door and stumbled out. He tried to get a last look at Arthur, only to see the door shutting in his face, being locked immediately.

Gods.

***

Arthur started smashing his chamber as soon as he heard Merlin’s unsure footsteps vanishing in the hall.

When he was done with destroying everything breakable, he fell on his bed, breathing unsteady. He felt shaken to the core, betrayed in a way he never even thought he could be. Merlin. How could that be? The one person Arthur had let come near, had felt understood him. The one person Arthur had sought out, had looked forward to seeing all day… was a warlock. His daft but lov… likeable manservant was a sorcerer.

The Crown Prince shook his head. That was it. He would never again trust another person. His father had been right all along. There was no place for attachments in their lives.

***

Merlin leaned back against a large beech; he was exhausted.

He had done exactly what Arthur had demanded… he had left the castle immediately, hadn’t stopped for clothes or food, hadn’t said goodbye to anyone. He had been too afraid of the prince’s wrath… not for himself but for Gaius. Better to leave everything and everyone behind than risking the old man’s life.

Merlin wasn’t sure how far he had run but right now he felt like he couldn’t take another step. Things were starting to catch up with him and he was miserable. He had always thought that Arthur would be infuriated when he found out but he hadn’t for a moment expected that things would go down this way. Merlin had been sure that there would be a way to reason with the prince; they had been so close lately. With all their bantering, he had felt friendship hum around them. Friendship, and even more, at least from his side. The sorcerer had considered for quite a while how to tell Arthur the truth about himself. Now he wished he had just done it… nothing could have been worse than what had happened today.

Merlin rubbed his hands over his face. It was getting dark, even more here deep in the woods, and he still didn’t know where he should go. Ealdor was out… he couldn’t bear to go back to his home village. Maybe it would be for the best if he just tried to find a place to sleep for the night; he didn’t seem able to make any decisions right now.

Looking around gloomily, Merlin started to wonder how he would survive the next days. Thankfully it was late summer, so he wouldn’t freeze but he had no idea how to protect himself from wild animals while he was asleep. Food was another problem. Merlin was sure he could kill some rabbits with magic, but he didn’t know how to cook them. Before the horror of his situation could bring him down even more, he decided to tackle one thing at a time. For now, he needed a safe place to sleep. Tomorrow morning, he could search for food. One night without eating wouldn’t kill him.

About an hour later, the sorcerer crept beneath some bushes that grew in front of a large rock. That wasn’t really what he had had in my mind; it wasn’t a safe place at all. But Merlin couldn’t see a thing anymore and he didn’t dare to light a fire. He didn’t want to draw attention to himself and there was always the possibility of raiders in the forest. That would be the last thing he needed right now; his head hurt enough as it was.

Merlin curled himself into a tight ball; he hadn’t known it got so cold at night. With all his might, he tried to not give into self pity. He wouldn’t cry his eyes out about things he couldn’t change anymore and were his own fault anyway. Sighing, he tried to ignore his thoughts of doom. In the next moment he flinched when he started to hear cracking sounds coming from everywhere. Merlin was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all; not with these ominous noises… and not while being this hungry.

Suddenly, there was a new sound and Merlin started to get wet. Great. It was pouring. Well, at least that meant he wouldn’t die of thirst.

Before his closed eyes, he could see a picture of a laughing Arthur throwing an apple at him. This had happened at breakfast today. Merlin swallowed his next sob. Gods, he hadn’t known he could miss another person this much.

***

Arthur was lying in his bed, unable to sleep. The day had been awful; so much for getting rid of Merlin.

The first one who had sought the prince out had been Gaius, of course. He had been looking for Merlin. Arthur had still been so angry that he had yelled at the old man, telling him how he had chased Merlin out of Camelot and if he -Gaius- would know what was good for him he shouldn’t ask too many questions about it.

The physician, looking aghast, had made a short bow and had left the prince’s chambers with glassy eyes. Arthur had wanted to feel good about this, but he hadn’t been able to. There was nothing to gloat about hurting Gaius, and he had hurt him deeply. Arthur had known that.

The next one had been Gwen. By then, Arthur had been on his way to the afternoon meeting with his father, and so he had just snapped at her that Merlin had left Camelot and had gone past her. This time he hadn’t felt so bad; he hadn’t been too fond of Gwen lately anyway.

Then something real strange had happened. Arthur had been talking to his father for about five minutes, when the King had suddenly looked around and had asked Arthur where Merlin was. The prince had been shocked. Firstly, he hadn’t even known that his father remembered the name of his manservant. Secondly, Arthur would have never guessed his father would notice said manservant’s absence, let alone comment on it. For a moment, the prince hadn’t known how to answer. Finally he had rallied and had mumbled something about another crisis in Ealdor and that Merlin had left his service, probably forever. Uther had just shrugged and said, “well, maybe that’s for the best. I am still not sure how you had been able to stand him. Pick another one and do yourself a favor this time, pick someone with a brain.”

Thankfully that had been the moment when the stewart had appeared and had been out of his head due to some crisis in the granary. Uther had left immediately with the other man, leaving his son behind. Arthur had stared at the black table for minutes. Pick yourself another one. Another servant would be around the prince from now on, not Merlin.

Until that moment, Arthur hadn’t realized that Merlin wouldn’t be there anymore. That had been stupid, really, because he himself had thrown Merlin out. But…

Arthur had stood up abruptly. He had gone down to the stables and had picked the first young man he had seen. “You! I need another servant. You will bring me my breakfast tomorrow at dawn and then clean my chambers.” Then the prince had almost run to the knight’s training. He had been sure to find some peace in beating the crap out of the other men.

As if. Percival had been the first one to ask where Merlin was, followed closely by Gawain and Henry. They had only shut up when Arthur had begun hearing the blood pounding in his ears. Obviously his facial expression had been bad enough so the other knights had tiptoed around him for the next hour. Beating his knights up hadn’t been fun at all.

Of course, the Gods had decided that the last one who had had to interrogate Arthur about Merlin just had to be Morgana. She had barged into his chambers just an hour ago, the moment Arthur had started to get ready for bed. Without any regard at all for his half naked state, she had immediately begun to rant at him. How could you have let Merlin go? Why didn’t you accompany him to Ealdor? Why is Gaius so miserable? What have you done this time, you idiot? After what happened last week, you should be very grateful for Merlin and don’t you know that he will be lost out there on his own? What happens if there are trolls out in the woods, seeking revenge? You are such a moron, Arthur! You could have at least told me, so I could have helped him! This poor boy! You don’t deserve him, idiot!

Arthur had needed half an hour to finally get rid of her, and he had heard her railing at him for another ten minutes in front of his locked door.
And now… he couldn’t sleep. His eyes fell on the door to his left; behind that door was the room of his manservant… in the last two weeks Merlin had spent more and more nights there. It had been fun to yell for Merlin in the middle of the night for some insane order and listen to Merlin groan and hiss at him. It also had been fun to watch him run around in his ridiculous nightshirt, hair sticking up in every direction possible. And to talk to him. Because they had been doing exactly that after the prince had laughed at his manservant and had released him from the stupid chores. It had been too hot to sleep anyway; so Arthur and Merlin had sat on the prince’s bed and had talked. About everything, or so the prince had thought.

Arthur sighed. It was stupid to even think about it. Merlin was a traitor, a warlock. If he had really cared for Arthur at all, he would have told him the truth, not lied to him for a year.

After some heavy pillow punching, Arthur turned on his right side and closed his eyes full of determination. He would sleep now. He wouldn’t waste another minute thinking about Merlin. And no way would he look under his bed. He wouldn’t… a sudden noise made him open his eyes again. Heavy rain had started to rattle against his windows. Gods, it was pouring. And Merlin was out there… alone in the woods most probably, without any shelter. He would be freezing, and Arthur knew how much his manservant hated the cold.

Merlin… Arthur groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. He wasn’t worrying about Merlin. He didn’t even think about him. And most of all, he was not missing Merlin.

***

A very wet and cold sorcerer woke up to the morning sun. Thanks to the Gods, it had stopped raining sometime in the night. Merlin crawled out from under the bushes and stretched… for a second. Then he winced; somehow he had pulled a muscle in his back during the night.

“I slept almost my whole life on the floor,” he muttered to himself. “One should think my back could still remember that.”

Merlin looked around; he had no idea at all where he was. Now what did Gaius say? If you’re lost in a forest, try to find running water, it will lead you out of it. Hopefully not straight back to Camelot, though. Merlin wandered around listless for about an hour, picking berries here and there. Once, he got caught in a bush of brambles and left half of his shirt there; his mood was not improving. Even if he did actually find a river or at least a beck, Merlin still had no idea where to go. What had been so much fun a week ago, laying out a trail for Uther’s guards and hiding in Camelot again… this time it was real and not funny at all. Inwardly, Merlin was becoming more scared and hopeless by the minute. He knew himself well enough to know that he couldn’t tough this out. Wilderness vs. Warlock… Wilderness would win, hands down.

Suddenly the sorcerer heard the sound of rushing water. Merlin immediately swung to the right and stumbled over a few weeds and roots until he came to some sort of very small beach; with lots of very big rocks on it. A pathetic little stream purled through the woods here; Merlin could probably jump over it with a little start-up. There was really no way to follow this beck due to the giant rocks lying everywhere. Merlin would probably have to wade through the water. While he was still considering getting wet again after he just had dried up some, he started to get wet. It began pouring again.

***

“Get out of here, you imbecile!”

The ex-stable boy, now ex-manservant and stable boy again, just barely avoided getting the plate with breakfast smashed into his face and ran from the Crown Prince’s chambers. The prince himself steamed. Everyone in this castle should know by now that he hated oatmeal.

My, my, aren’t we in a bad mood today?

“Shut up!”

Great, now Arthur started to talk to the thin air. Since he had woken up one hour ago there had been a strange voice in his head… sounding like the weirdest mixture of Merlin, Morgana and himself. And he couldn’t make it shut up.

Maybe you should have warned this poor boy about your temper? Or maybe you should have kept Merlin… he would have thrown that plate right back at you.

It had to be a curse. This little arse had cursed him somehow before he had left Camelot and…

Oh yes! Of course, he cursed you… right after you almost killed him.

“I didn’t kill him!”

I said almost. Do you remember your hands around his throat? Do you remember how scared he had been? You must be so proud of yourself… treating someone you care about so much like this. Quite like your father actually. Do you remember the way Uther had grabbed Morgana at her throat? I knew you could.

Dammit. Arthur sank down on the bed and closed his eyes. Yes, he could still see Merlin’s face all too well… lying on the floor, gasping for breath. But… Merlin had lied to him. For months. If he had just told Arthur the truth, then…

Yes. That would have been my advice, too. Go, Merlin, tell the Crown Prince you are a warlock. This is the right course of action here in Camelot. Oh, don’t be afraid. The prince is so good-natured, after all. Nothing bad will happen. Are you serious, idiot?

Arthur swallowed hard. Then he swallowed again, ignoring the stinging in his eyes.

“He was my friend. I trusted him. And he betrayed me… he… I…”

Your friend, you say? You’re really naïve, Arthur. How could he be your friend? A servant. Did he ever act as your friend? Did he maybe save your life or something like that? Oh wait… he did, didn’t he? But you’re still right, he lied to you. Bastard. How could he? How could he try to protect his life here? After all, you were the best friend Merlin ever could have wished for. And you told him so often what a good friend he was. Again… wait. You didn’t, did you? You didn’t tell him how much he meant to you. And since we’re being honest here… it wasn’t really so much about friendship was it? Good thing you didn’t tell him that. He would have dropped dead. You know what you are, Crown Prince? You’re a coward.

Arthur had enough. Swiping his face with one hand, he jumped up and dressed himself. Then he left and started looking for his father.

***

Merlin was freezing. Seriously, what was it with this rain in August? The last weeks had been so hot that no one could sleep and now it was raining and it was cold like the world had tumbled into November? That was probably just his luck.

The sorcerer had blasted magical energy into one of these huge rocks until he had carved out some kind of an extremely small cave; there he sat now and watched the stream out of sad eyes. He was wet again, still hungry and his nose was running. And right now, Merlin would really like to see all those things that had been written about him, like the dragon had said. It would be something like: And then, the guards of Camelot found the dreaded warlock, frozen inside his evil magical cave.

Merlin hated his life. He hated these woods, this stupid little stream, the rain, his wet clothes, his empty stomach. He hated Uther, Camelot and most of all he hated Arth… Merlin sighed. No, sadly he didn’t. He kinda loved Arthur. And really, that should have been his first inkling that something wasn’t right with the blathering of the dragon. This blasted thing never told him he should fall in love with the Once and Future King… just that he should protect said king. Maybe there was another Merlin out there somewhere? Some older guy, like Gaius, who could lead the Great King?

That would be so typical.

***

“You want to go on a hunt? It’s pouring out there, son.”

“I know, Father. That’s exactly why I want to go… the last weeks had been so hot; it will be a refreshing change.”

Inwardly, Arthur groaned. Why in Heaven’s name did his father want to discuss Arthur’s plans? The King didn’t care about things like that; at least when Uther himself didn’t want something from his son.

“What do you want to hunt in this weather?”

“Whatever crosses my path, father.” Lost manservants, for example, he thought to himself.

“You really shouldn’t go alone, Arthur. I know it’s… difficult to go on a hunt with ten guards but you shouldn’t be alone in the woods. At least take your new servant.”

Arthur looked at his father for a moment. He wasn’t in the mood to tell him that he already sacked… whatever his name was. Then a thought crossed his mind; he started to smile and said, “but of course, Father, I will.”

Half an hour later Arthur stood in Gaius rooms and smiled even broader. The expression on the old man’s face was priceless.

“I beg your pardon, sire?”

“You are my new manservant, Gaius. My father told me to pick someone with a brain… please don’t tell me you don’t have one.”

“Sire, you can’t… by orders of your father I’m a free man of Camelot.“

Shit. Arthur had forgotten that.

Well, my dear Crown Prince, maybe you need a brain to pick someone with a brain? Ever thought of that?

“Look, Gaius… “ Arthur wrestled down his pride with all he had, “… I need your help. Of course I don’t want you to be my new servant forever. I just need a few hours to get my lost one back.”

“Your lost one, sire? As far as I remember you told me you had thrown Merlin out because he is a warlock. Sire.”

Arthur felt blood rush to his face. Until now, he hadn’t known the voice in his head could applaud. He looked for a moment at the defiant face of the physician and then he sighed.

“Alright, Gaius, I made a mistake.” Arthur ignored the soft fainting noises in his mind. “Now I need some advice. I have no idea where Merlin is now. Do you want to help me or not?”

***

Merlin looked at the trout in his hands and grimaced. He had magicked them right out of the stream and now he had no idea what to do with them. The rain was so bad that no matter how often he started a fire it went out just as fast. That meant… ew. The fish were slippery and not appealing at all. But Merlin was really hungry by now; after all he had eaten a beetle once, not to mention tasting the awful troll potion. Nothing could be as bad as that. But before he could take a bite, Merlin had to remove the head of one trout. No way would he eat something that still seemed to look at him.

***

Arthur scratched his head. He had left his ‘new manservant’ behind in an empty hut three hours ago and he could still hear Gaius ranting. By now he doubted the wisdom of going on this hunting trip alone… he had already searched for traces of Merlin in and around four rivers; so far, nothing. Since Arthur knew Merlin’s non-existent competence in hiding his whereabouts in the woods, he found himself in a frustrated state. Maybe he should have listened to Gaius’ advice and just patrolled the rivers near Camelot. The old man had been sure that Merlin would just stumble over the castle while trying to get away.

At least the voice in his head had vanished. Arthur sighed thankfully. He would have probably lost his mind if the voice (which had sounded more and more like Morgana) had commented on his stumbling and the fact that he was soaked to the skin.

Arthur cursed the weather; it would be impossible to light a fire, so it was also impossible to look for traces of smoke. Where was the moron? Sighing, he leaned on a large oak to eat some of his dried meat. He let his eyes wander around some bushes and trees; suddenly he startled. Was this…? Arthur went over to a bush of brambles and found it not only bare of any berries but he also found a few shreds of blue linen, and Merlin had worn a blue tunic.

Full of sudden excitement, the prince looked around the bush more closely. And there it was. A trace, trampled into the earth like a whole pack of boars had made their way through the woods. This had to be Merlin. Ignoring the funny feeling behind his breastbone, Arthur broke out in a dead run.

And what will you tell him when you find him? Maybe you should start thinking soon, brainless wonder.

Great.

***

Merlin managed to not throw up. Barely. Raw fish wasn’t delicious but it was edible. Or so people had told him. The sorcerer shook himself all over and laid the other fish to the side. He wasn’t hungry anymore but Merlin didn’t think it was because he had eaten so much. His stomach was probably scared at what would come down next so it stopped making noises.

It was still raining. Merlin knew that he should make use of the daylight and get more distance between himself and Camelot. But he didn’t even know anymore in what direction Camelot laid. It would be just like him to follow the stream back to the castle.

Merlin threw a stone morosely into the beck. Didn’t matter anyway. He felt lonely and betrayed, and without his destiny… what was there to live for? Maybe he should try and get back to Camelot. To Arthur. The Once and Future Arse. Maybe he had to see it with his own eyes that the prince would kill him. Then he would believe that…

Someone behind the rock cleared his throat. Merlin froze.

***

The first thing Arthur saw when he followed Merlin’s trail down to the little stream was the head of a trout flying through the air, shortly followed by some fishbones, a suppressed retching sound and some moaning. Merlin’s ‘I hate the world’ moaning; Arthur would recognize it everywhere.

The prince started to gnaw on his nails. He had no idea how Merlin would react to his presence. They never had had a fight like the one yesterday. Alright, it hadn’t been exactly a fight. It had been more like Crown Prince beating up Manservant. Arthur noticed that he tried to forestall the voice. On that way lay madness, he was sure of that.

Okay. Arthur had to apologize immediately. All questions about sorcery could and would have to wait. If the prince ever wanted to be on good terms with Merlin again –never mind being on really good terms- he had to make sure to not make Merlin scared of him again.
Arthur swallowed and then cleared his throat. Carefully.

For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then the bedraggled face of his manservant appeared at the right side of the large rock, looking scared. Arthur gave his best smile.

“Merlin, I’m glad that I…”

Splatch. Arthur, who prided himself for the ability to duck every arrow coming his way, had no chance at all against a flying trout. He took the fish right in his face and the fact that he had his mouth open didn’t make things better at all. Very unroyally spewing all over the place, Arthur didn’t notice that after the trout a very angry Merlin came his way, giving the prince a heavy shove.

“What? Don’t you like fish? It is supposed to be healthy! You really should eat it!”

And with that, Merlin grabbed the trout and started to try and smack Arthur with it. The prince backed off quickly, stumbled over a root and went down. Staring up at his manservant, Arthur was completely dazed. Scared, my ass. He had never seen anyone so not scared like Merlin. His manservant should have looked ridiculous, like a drowned rat with one limpy fish in the hand. But he didn’t; he looked like some weird kind of warrior right now.

“Hello? Are you in there, Arthur? Or did the fish do something to whatever is left of your brain? Don’t you want to bully me around a bit more? Or, hey, didn’t you say if you lay eyes on me again you would burn me on a stake? Go ahead, your Highness! If you manage to start a fire here, I will congratulate you!”

Arthur had to admit that Merlin’s voice was much, much worse than Morgana’s. The sorcerer could bitch like no one else… Arthur had known that of course, he had just forgotten it over this whole mess.

“Now, Merlin, wait a moment…”

“Oh look, it can talk! I did wonder for a minute. What, Arthur? What do you want here? I did what you told me and left. And now what?”

Arthur continued to stare at the other man. By now, Merlin had lost his furious expression and started to look miserable. But the prince wasn’t fooled by that for a minute. One wrong word and this trout would impact with his face again, he was sure.

“I… I missed you, Merlin.”

There, the truth. When no fish flew after a few seconds, Arthur looked hesitantly at Merlin again. The other man stared back.

“You what?”

“I missed you. Everyone missed you. Hell, I think even my father missed you. But I missed you most,” Arthur stated. “I’m sorry, okay? I… overreacted. I…”

“You overreacted? Killing me is overreacting for you?”

“I didn’t… Merlin. Look, I didn’t know what to do or to think at that moment. I… I really wished that you had just told me, you know? But that is no excuse for beating you up. I’m really sorry, I am.”

Right in front of Arthur’s eyes, Merlin deflated. He looked down at his sodden boots for a moment, and then sat beside the prince, throwing the trout into the weeds.

“It’s okay. Wasn’t so bad anyway. I look worse after one of our training sessions.”

“That’s not the point. You were scared… rightly so. I was strangling you.”

“I wasn’t scared because of that. I was scared because I didn’t know what would happen the moment you let go of me.”

Arthur bit his lips. He vaguely remembered threatening Gaius.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. Then he had another thought. “Why didn’t you… er… defend yourself with magic?” Arthur flinched, suddenly remembering that he hadn’t wanted to bring that up so soon.

Merlin huffed. “I don’t think I could use any magic at all when I would hurt you with it. I may be able to play a few tricks on you but otherwise… no.”

“So… you are very powerful, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I have to be, because I have this great destiny at your side, you know? Protecting you from evil. And since every madmen in the whole world is after your hide I have my hands… oh, don’t look like that. Believe me, I’m not rambling… I could introduce you to a dragon who does, though.”

“Dragon? Never mind. Can’t you stop that rain, then?”

Merlin laughed. “Why is everyone asking me stuff like that? No, I can’t. Believe me, if I could it would be sunny right now.”

“What about that rock over there? Is there a cave in it?”

“Yeah. But a real small one.”

“Doesn’t matter to me, Merlin. I just want to get out of this weather, as soon as possible.”

Arthur stood up, helped Merlin on his feet and then both of them were scrambling down towards the rock. Brushing off the worst of the dirt, the prince followed Merlin around the large stone and finally saw the cave.

“Okay, this is really… a very small… hole in a rock.”

***

Wow. Merlin had known that the cave was small but not that it was this small. He had to literally sit on Arthur’s lap so both of them managed to stay out of the rain. Not that he minded, exactly. Being close to Arthur was what he needed right now. Merlin knew that he had, as always, fooled the prince with his hissy fit out there but inwardly the sorcerer was shaking with relief. He would have never guessed that Arthur would come after him, never mind being full of remorse and guilt ridden.

So, Merlin had been missed by the prince. Interesting. He hadn’t even been gone for two days… and there Arthur was, wet, dirty and glorious. And he had become even more glorious a few minutes ago, when he had pulled off his cape and his tunic only to impose said tunic on top of the cape on Merlin, just because the sorcerer’s shirt was a little shredded and obviously Merlin’s lips were turning blue. Which was nonsense because Merlin felt very cosy here in this little cave.

“Look Arthur, at least take back the cape, okay? Because let me tell you, your lips are blue, too.”

Beneath him, Arthur shifted uncomfortably. “Believe me, Merlin, I’m not cold. At all,” the prince muttered, shifting again.

Wow again. There was something really big in this little cave. Thanks to the Gods that Merlin wasn’t the one with Arthur in his lap… it was much more fun the other way around. Merlin turned around, still on top of Arthur, trying for a look filled with indignation. The prince stared at him like a rabbit would stare at a snake. Merlin held on to that look for about ten seconds, and then he gave up. He started grinning and bent down quickly to catch Arthur’s mouth with his own before the other man could even move.

Arthur’s lips were warm. No, scratch that, they were hot. Merlin moved his own softly against Arthur’s. The prince seemed to have frozen beneath Merlin; only after a few seconds the other man started to kiss him back. Arthur’s lips opened and let Merlin’s tongue slip in; at the same moment the prince slung his arms around Merlin’s waist and drew him impossibly close.

The two men kissed for what seemed to be an eternity.

Finally, Merlin raised his head a bit to take in some air. He glanced at the other man. Arthur was still looking like a rabbit, but at least now he looked like a happy one. Merlin dove right back in; he could tell Arthur later that the rain had stopped.

***

The King sighed and looked at his son for awhile.

“Alright, Arthur, I… well. Just be careful, you hear me? It could get difficult to find a princess for you to marry if word get out that you… you know.”

“Father, I’m telling you, I only…”

“Yes, yes. You stumbled over him. Right. Just… please don’t be too obvious.”

With that, Uther left the table and toward his chambers. Arthur stared at the table for some time, and then he started grinning. His father had mellowed out quite a bit since his last marriage. The Crown Prince was sure he had to thank his troll stepmother for that. Pity he had to kill her. Grabbing a few grapes, Arthur stood up as well and left for Gaius’ rooms. He had to help Merlin pack and convince him that whatever magical things he had been hiding in his quarters, there would be much better places in the prince’s chambers.

***

Deep under the castle, the Dragon laid one paw over his snout and sighed. Maybe he really shouldn’t have said all that funky stuff to Merlin. Two sides of a coin and all that rubbish. Now both of them were in love with each other and that meant… all bets were off.

The End.

Merlin Fic: Within Temptation (3/3)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:50:26 GMT

It was getting old real fast. Merlin didn’t understand why he wasn’t able to stay on his side of the bed. Every night when they went to bed, he almost fell out of it because he stayed away from Arthur as far as possible. Every morning he woke up, he was all over the prince. Arthur wasn’t beating him off with a stick, which was the other thing Merlin didn’t understand. He knew Arthur had been awake quite a few times when Merlin woke up, pressed to the prince’s back or lying on top of him; always in an embarrassing state of arousal. Arthur didn’t say anything about it at all. Which was really weird because the prince mocked him every evening when Merlin tried to make some kind of bed, mattress, whatever. The strangest looking things appeared but nothing Merlin could sleep on.

Merlin sighed. At least today he had managed to squirm free of Arthur’s embrace without waking him. He had rummaged around in the new larder until the prince had appeared all rumpled in the door. Without looking to closely at the other man, Merlin said, “we need more meat. You have to go on a hunt and I will look for mushrooms.”

“Good morning to you, too, Merlin,” Arthur groused.

“Good morning,” Merlin answered, walking past the prince.

Mornings were the most difficult time for Merlin. His emotions were always dangerously close to the surface then; probably due to the fact he slept in Arthur’s arms the whole night. And a sleepy Arthur was hard to resist. And Merlin had to resist or he would do something real stupid. Like kissing the other man. Merlin wondered how often he would have to tell himself this until he stopped wanting to do something stupid.

“Gods, you’re in a fouler mood than I’d ever seen Morgana in,” Arthur grumbled behind Merlin. “And I didn’t know this would be possible. What is it with you? More dreams?”

Merlin turned around.

“What do you mean, more dreams? I didn’t notice I’ve dreamt something.”

“Well, sometimes you… moan in your sleep.” Arthur looked steadily at Merlin. “It’s hard to calm you down. But it’s… alright. I… don’t mind exactly.”

Merlin felt himself flush all over. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

The prince looked at him some more and then cleared his throat. “Whatever. It’s not so bad you know? So – what meat do you want? Venison?”

“What?” The only thing Merlin heard was some kind of whooshing sound… his blood pounding in his ears, he was sure.

“What kind of meat?”

“I don’t care. Rabbits, deers, boars… whatever crosses your path.” And with that, Merlin left the hut. Quickly.

***

A few hours later, Merlin sat on the bench, an empty basket beside him. He had found many mushrooms but he had noticed an hour ago that there had been very poisonous mushrooms mixed with the edibles, so he had thrown all of them away. For the life of him, he hadn’t been able to concentrate on what he was doing and this was really bad if one was looking for mushrooms.

The reason for his lack of concentration was the conversation he had with Arthur this morning. Or – what Arthur had said. Merlin wasn’t all too sure he had said anything at all. Arthur’s words and his expression… it didn’t make sense. If Merlin hadn’t been sure it couldn’t be, he would have sworn… that Arthur knew and didn’t mind. And that wasn’t possible, was it? Gods, Merlin would have sold his soul for the power of mind reading. He didn’t know what to do. If he tried something and was wrong… Arthur would probably kill him. No, he wouldn’t kill him, but the prince would be disgusted and that would be worse. But if Merlin didn’t do anything and Arthur thought he wasn’t interested – after all, Merlin had all but run away this morning – then he could lose his one chance.

Merlin buried his face in his hands. It was Will all over again, with the addition of love. Merlin hadn’t been in love with Will but he had wanted him. He had just been to insecure to start something and finally had left for Camelot. When he had seen Will again it had become clear that Will had been very willing himself, but then it had been too late. Merlin was already head over heels for Arthur and even if he hadn’t been… Will had died.

Merlin swallowed. He wished he had more experience… he just didn’t know what to do. He looked at the lake for some minutes and then decided to just wait and see how Arthur would behave when he came back. Right now Merlin would take a swim and then wash himself. It had been a very hot day.

Chapter 5: Arthur

Arthur was delighted. In only three hours or so he had hunted down six rabbits, which meant there would be food for quite a few days. After laying the dead animals down in the weird sort of cellar Merlin had created a few weeks ago, he had went out in the woods again and managed to kill a boar. His work was done.

Arthur had looked around for Merlin for awhile but his companion was nowhere to be seen. So the prince had decided to go on a little adventure for himself. In the weeks –or maybe months, it was hard to tell because in this place the season didn’t change so far- they had been here, Arthur had tried about twenty times to walk around the lake. The first times he had tried it he had even packed himself some blankets because he had known the lake was vast. And every time he had tried it the same thing had happened. He had been walking for a few hours through the woods and found himself suddenly in some sort of mist. A creepy mist. It had seemed to cling to his arms and legs. The first time it had happened Arthur had been close to freaking out. He hadn’t been able to see anything, no trees, no bushes, nothing, only mist. He had been sure he would be lost forever in that fog but after a short while always the same thing had happened. The mists had cleared and he had found himself right in front of their hut. And that was impossible, really, walking for hours through the woods and then back in minutes at the hut.

Arthur had tried to talk with Merlin about this, had even suggested the sorcerer should accompany him. But he had had no luck. Merlin had just looked at him out of his big eyes and mumbled something about Avalon and that Arthur would never be able to reach it through the woods. And when Arthur mentioned building a boat to row over the lake Merlin had lost it. He had screamed furiously at Arthur to never talk about it again. Sometimes Merlin was just weird. Very weird. Other times, he was… well. Whatever.

So, today Arthur had decided to try to walk around the lake again… but this time not through the woods but on the very small bouts of shores the lake had. As far as he could see, there were no mists visible on the lake today. Alright, he couldn’t really make out the other side of the lake but he couldn’t see any mists at all; and this didn’t happen often.
Arthur was very sure he would succeed today.

***

After a few hours, Arthur’s enthusiasm had vanished. He had been covered in mud from head to toe, due to the fact that this damn shore was very slippery; now, after some quick washing, he was wet all over. And what was even more frustrating, Arthur hadn’t been able to stay near the lake in the last hour. The vegetation had grown thicker and thicker and finally Arthur had to leave the shore. Alright, he could have tried to swim for a short while but he still remembered Merlin’s expression when Arthur had gone into the lake for a short swim for the first time. The sorcerer had all but begged him to never go swimming alone; and Arthur wasn’t a fool. He may have been mocking Merlin and calling him a girl but he knew that he had to listen to him. This wasn’t Camelot, this was a magical freaking place and Merlin knew or guessed much more about it than Arthur ever would. So he heeded the sorcerer’s advice. Every time the prince did this, he had the feeling that everything was right in his world. That was something he would never tell Merlin.

Arthur finally stopped walking. There was no use to it, and he didn’t want to experience that weird mist again. It would be better to turn around and…

Suddenly, Arthur caught a glimpse at sunrays reflecting from water. Alright, he obviously wasn’t so far away from the lake as he had thought. The prince turned left and fought his way through the bushes to reach the shore at last. He stumbled over a few weeds and managed to get hold of a large tree which looked… familiar. Arthur sighed. It was the big oak standing right beside their hut. Obviously, the woods had turned him around again somehow. It was just strange that there hadn’t been any mist or something like…

At that moment, he saw Merlin. What he had seen before hadn’t been the sun reflecting from the water, it had been the sun glinting on Merlin’s pale, naked skin. Arthur swallowed. He had seen Merlin naked before, sure, but not looking like this; like some sort of mythical creature. Arthur stopped himself immediately when he started thinking of the unicorn. He wasn’t a girl after all.

Arthur leaned against the tree and just watched Merlin. Usually, he tried to avoid dwelling on his feelings for the other man. But today… today was different. It had been too obvious this morning to ignore what was going on between them. Arthur rubbed the bridge of his nose. In Camelot, he had always attempted to think of Merlin as he would of a younger brother he hadn’t had. He had overlooked the flashes of jealousy he had had whenever he saw some girl flirting with his manservant. It had been easy in a way because Merlin had never paid any real attention to the maids. But after what had happened with Lancelot… that had been hard to ignore. Arthur had needed all his skills of keeping his royal mask on when he had heard that the handsome man had slept in Merlin’s room. And thinking about the way Gaius had looked at the prince, he wasn’t sure the mask hadn’t slipped after all. As much as he had hated to lose a skilled warrior like Lancelot, Arthur still had been glad to see him go. And to see that Merlin hadn’t been exactly heartbroken over it.

But even after this episode and the fact that Arthur had to admit to himself that this wasn’t some sort of brotherly love at all, he hadn’t acted. Oh, he had seen the way Merlin looked at him all too often. It just wouldn’t have been right for the Crown Prince to start something with his servant. It wasn’t… Arthur huffed and rolled his eyes. Now he started to try and kid himself. No, the reason why he hadn’t just grabbed Merlin and dragged him to his bed hadn’t been the fact that Arthur was the heir of the throne, or that Merlin was a servant, or that his father would have disapproved. Arthur’s resistance had been based only on the fact that he was scared to death of his feelings for Merlin. And to add sex to that mixture would have been explosive. The prince hadn’t been sure he would have been able to let Merlin leave again. Arthur hadn’t wanted to give anyone so much power over him. But now… he knew he had been an idiot. Or a prat. Because Merlin already had this power over him; and as far as Arthur could see he had the same power over Merlin. This power was called love, and Arthur had to admit he wasn’t only an idiot or a prat, he was a complete ass. They could have had sex for months now and Arthur had been too stupid to realize that. Well, that would change now. No time like the present.

***

After about two minutes, Arthur sat down on the bench on top of Merlin’s clothes. The sorcerer still hadn’t seen him yet but Arthur could wait. He felt like he had all the time in the world right now. The view was fantastic. Arthur loved the long line of Merlin’s neck and was very curious about the reactions he would get when he would bite down on that delicious white skin. Merlin’s back was beautiful, too, and his ass… Arthur smiled. Maybe he couldn’t wait after all.

“You know that too much water can make your skin wrinkle up all over?”

Merlin jumped. He jumped and tried to turn around at the same time with the result that he lost his footing and went under. A minute later he bobbed up again, coughing and sputtering, his hair hanging down his forehead, almost covering his eyes. He brushed it back with his left hand and stared at the prince.

Arthur was still smiling. Merlin looked adorable, but he wouldn’t tell him that. Arthur was sure Merlin wouldn’t appreciate that remark. But he was adorable… and fascinating. Arthur hadn’t known till now that Merlin’s blush went down to his groin.

“What… what are you doing here?”

“I live here, Merlin.”

“No, I mean… why are you here? You should be hunting.”

Arthur felt his smile turn into a grin. Merlin didn’t know it yet but he was still hunting.

“Oh, I did. Six rabbits and a boar. I hope my Lord will be pleased,” he snerked.

“Ah. Yes, that’s… really good.”

“I thought so.”

Merlin fell silent and continued to stare at Arthur. The prince looked straight back and waited. He knew he could outwait Merlin easily.

“Um… Arthur? You… you’re sitting on my clothes.”

“Yes.”

“Would you please hand them over?”

“No.”

Merlin had already started to make his way to the shore and now stopped where he stood. Arthur saw him swallow.

“What did you say?”

“I said no.”

“What?”

“No, I won’t give you your clothes.”

“But… why?”

“Because you look real good without them.”

Wow. Arthur hadn’t thought Merlin could blush any harder but he did. This was fun.

Sadly, it stopped being fun right away. Arthur could see the charming blush turn into an angry one. And wasn’t that weird, that he was able to interpret Merlin’s blushes? Then the blush went away completely and Merlin looked suddenly pale.

“Alright, you had your little joke. I know how I look, believe me. Now give me my clothes.”

Arthur looked at Merlin for a moment; then he stood up. He picked up the shirt and the pants, turned around to the naked man in the lake and said, “you think I’m lying or making fun of you? Do you really think that?”

By now, Merlin had crossed his arms and was glancing miserably at the prince. After Arthur’s words though, Merlin straightened up and stuck out his chin, his eyes became narrow. Arthur admired the fact that Merlin just didn’t give in, no matter what. He started to get really excited.

“Gods, you’re an asshole, I hope you know that. You want to humiliate me? Go ahead!” With that, Merlin started to stomp towards the shore, a murderous expression on his face.

Huh. Arthur didn’t want to have a scuffle with Merlin on the shore. Too much sand, too many stones. A quick retreat to the hut was the best plan right now. So he went there, taking Merlin’s clothes with him. He could hear the other man hissing at him over the whole distance. As soon as he entered the hut, Arthur threw Merlin’s things into one corner and then undressed real fast. Naked, he leaned back on one bed post and waited.

Chapter 6: Merlin

Merlin was furious while he stormed up to their hut. Furious and sad at the same time. He had been such an idiot! Yes, Arthur certainly had noticed how Merlin felt; and now Merlin would have to pay the price. And there he had been worried about disgust… mockery was so much worse than that.

Because you look real good without them. Yeah, sure. Skinny, bony, ugly.

Arthur could kiss his ass. Merlin would made himself another hut, and if his damned magic wouldn’t approve of that, he would build himself a new hut with his hands. And sleep on the floor.

He reached the door and entered, squinting around while he tried to adjust his eyes to the sudden light change. Where was the ass? Ah, there he was. There he… Ungh.

Merlin stood and stared. His eyes roamed over miles of golden, naked skin. Suddenly he had a problem. A big one. His eyes started twitching. Merlin didn’t know where to look – at that beautiful cock rising out of a nest of blond pubic hair or at the face of Arthur… flushed, eyes darkened and a pink tongue wetting the prince’s lips.

“Breathe, Merlin, before you pass out.”

Good advice. Merlin gulped down some air. At least now he didn’t feel so dizzy anymore but he still had no solution for his problem. What was going on?

“Excuse me? Please tell me I don’t have to start with the birds and the bees, Merlin.”

Shit.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“But… I don’t understand. I thought… why…?”

“Come over here and I show you.”

Merlin went.

Chapter 7: Arthur

Arthur never had had so much fun in his whole life. He had never been so excited, never been so aroused, never been so delighted to have someone else so close to him.

Merlin was… everything. Everything Arthur had dreamed about. He was incredible, sensitive to every caress, to every touch, to every kiss. And he smelled good, he tasted good.

Arthur smiled to himself while he nibbled on Merlin’s hipbone, feeling the other man writhe on the bed. The first time had been over as soon as Arthur’s lips had closed around Merlin’s cock. The prince had to stomp down hard on his own excitement and stop himself from coming right with Merlin. Then he had somehow calmed the embarrassed man down again and now, about ten minutes later, they were right back at where they had begun.

Who would have thought Merlin had been still a virgin? Arthur had always believed that the boys from the villages were early starters.

“Arthur,” Merlin moaned and tried to draw him up. The prince went willingly and let himself be led into a deep kiss. Merlin’s lips were softer than any women’s lips Arthur had ever kissed. The prince settled himself on top of Merlin, pressing their cocks together and immediately felt the other man rear up against him. Merlin ripped his mouth away to gulp in some air, moaned in the most fantastic way, and started to hump Arthur fiercely. Since he was at the same time kissing the prince’s neck up to his ear, Arthur begun to see stars before his eyes. Dammit. There went the royal staying power. He groaned and came, hearing the shocked moan of Merlin and felt his lover contribute to the mess Arthur already made between there bodies.

Alright then. At least he still had more stamina than Merlin.

***

Later, much later, Arthur’s head rested on Merlin’s chest. He wasn’t able to move one muscle. He was completely and totally exhausted. They were both a mess. The bed was a mess. Hell, even the pillows were a mess.

“Merlin?”

“Hngh?”

“Could you…?”

“No, forget it. You wore me out. I couldn’t get it up again even if you…”

“No! Gods, no. I just meant, could you somehow clean up the bed? There are wet spots everywhere.”

“How would you know? I’m lying in the wet spot.”

“Me, too.”

“You’re lying on top of me.”

“Exactly. And therefore I’m lying in a wet spot.”

Arthur heard Merlin sigh and raised his head just in time to see a very tired golden glimmer in his lover’s eyes. As always, he was fascinated by it. A minute later, the bed and both men were clean.

Merlin smiled up at him.

“Better?”

“Much better.”

“Good.”

They looked at each other for awhile and then Merlin said, “brace yourself.”

Arthur started to laugh at once. He knew what was coming, but he thought he should be the one to say it first. Merlin had risked enough for the prince to last for a lifetime.

“I love you, Merlin.”

And then Arthur had the pleasure to see Merlin’s eyes light up, hear him whispering, “love you, too, forever,” and kiss him again.

Chapter 8: Merlin

Merlin laid awake and held Arthur in his arms. Night after night, for months, no, for years (even for Merlin it was difficult to held on to the passing time at this place), they had made love. In every way imaginable. It was hard for Merlin to remember a time where it hadn’t been this way. Gentle, passionate, demanding, giving love, full of laughter, lust and tenderness. Nothing would ever separate them again, Merlin knew that. He also knew there would be hard times ahead in the future, but this would never change. Arthur was his, and he was Arthur’s.

And night after night the Warlock lay awake for some time, listening to the magic of the lake, of Avalon and to his own.

He had sensed dozens of sorcerers die in Camelot, executed by a mad King.

He had noticed war after war raping the realms, alliances breaking up.

He had felt Morgana leaving Camelot and joining forces with Mordred. This was the night he had cried.

And then, finally, he had heard the triumphant roar of The Dragon.

It was time.

Chapter 9: Arthur

The prince woke up with a strange feeling of loneliness. He reached over to Merlin only to find the other side of the bed empty. Shivering in the cold of the morning, he stood up and put on some trousers. Then he left the cabin, looking for his lost lover. He didn’t have to search far… Merlin was standing on the shore, with his back to the prince.

“Merlin?”

The Warlock turned around and looked at him out of golden eyes. Out of sad eyes.

“Merlin?” Arthur rushed to his side.” What is it, love?”

“I am so sorry, my Lord.”

My Lord? What the hell… Arthur went still. He gazed at his lover for another moment and then turned around to face the lake. He felt tears stinging in his eyes, although he had sworn over the years that he wouldn’t cry. Merlin hugged him from behind, and the other man’s chin rested on his right shoulder. Arthur leaned back into the welcome embrace, letting the strength of his lover held him upright.

“Does that mean we have to leave now, Merlin?”

Arthur felt the Warlock’s magic hum around them for a moment. Then, “no, not yet. I think we will have at least another year here, Arthur,” Merlin said.

“Good. I already know I will hate the day when we’ll have to leave,” Arthur swallowed. He then turned around and glanced at the other man. “We won’t be able to come back here again, after we’ll leave, will we?”

Arthur almost shied away from his lover when he saw Merlin’s eyes. Swirling colours of gold, silver, blue and even red. The prince had never seen anything like that before. Finally Merlin dropped his eyes for a moment, and when he looked up again his eyes were his usual brilliant blue.

“No, Arthur, we will come back here. And then we will never leave again. We will be together till the end of time.” Merlin drew his head down for a slow, tender kiss. “And now, love, leave me. I have some work to do.”

Over Merlin’s shoulder Arthur could see the rising mists of Avalon.

Epilogue: The Sword

And in the middle of the chaos and fighting, in the middle of the destroyed and plundered Camelot, a large rock grow out of the stone floor. Then, as if sent from the Gods, a mighty and glinting sword fell from the sky and slid into the rock. On one side of the blade, there were the words ‘Take Me Up’, on the other side the words ‘Cast Me Away’, barely readable above the rock.

On the rock itself were appearing runes in blazing gold.

CALEDFWLCH EXCALIBUR
LIBERATED FROM THE STONE
BY THE TRUE KING ALONE

The End.

This is the song my beta kelsrealm found and it perfect for this story, or so we think.

Enjoy!

Merlin Fic: Within Temptation (2/3)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:49:56 GMT

Merlin started to wake slowly. He felt very warm and cosy and something smelled delicious. Spicy and earthy, and strangely like cardamon. It couldn’t be Christmas yet, could it? And why was his pillow so hard? And why… Reality raised her ugly head and Merlin’s eyes snapped open. Gods. He was lying almost on top of Arthur, his face snuggled into the other man’s neck; and… Merlin’s right leg was thrown over both of Arthur’s. Which meant his groin was pressed in a very friendly way at Arthur’s right muscular thigh. With a hard on. Great.

Please, let him be still asleep. Please Gods, Fates, whoever, Merlin thought. He raised his head very carefully and looked at the other man. Thank you. The prince was sleeping, snoring slightly. Now how to move back without waking him? Especially considering the fact that he was literally lying in Arthur’s arms which were clamped around Merlin’s back. First things first. Merlin started to slowly draw his hips back from Arthur’s leg and the moment he managed that, he could breathe more easily. He glanced at the other man again. Gods, Arthur was simply beautiful. Merlin bend forward again, his eyes fixed on Arthur’s lips. He caught himself at the last moment. What was he thinking? He had to get away from Arthur as quickly as possible. And with that, he bolted up without any regard of watching where he put his feet. And promptly stamped on Arthur’s right shin, not to mention that he smashed his elbow into Arthur’s ribs.

In the next second, Arthur was on his knees himself, the sword which had been lying on his left side already drawn.

Hair sticking up in every direction, the prince said, “What? What?” and looked around frantically.

“Er… nothing. I’m sorry I… startled you. I… I had a cramp in my leg,” Merlin lied.

Arthur looked at him for a moment and then fell back on the furs. “Do you want to kill me? I thought we were being attacked,” the prince groused.

“Sorry.”

Arthur groaned and then started to stretch. Merlin swallowed again. He really should stop looking at this man. The prince rubbed is face, combing his hair with his fingers and sat up again, sighing heavily.

“Never mind. It is dawn anyway,” Arthur yawned. “Gods, I would like some tea or something.”

“I’m sure Gaius had packed some tea,” Merlin said and went over to the horses where their bags were lying on the ground. After some searching, he soon discovered Gaius’ well known tea can and had to swallow again. Every time Merlin thought about the old physician he felt close to tears. He stamped down hard on these feelings. Now was not a time to grieve, he knew that.

He grabbed two mugs and filled them with snow. Then he went over to the fire pit with them and the teabox, and with one glance from him branches were flying past him, arranging themselves into a pile. With another glance, Merlin started the fire. He didn’t even use any spell words anymore; most of the time, he didn’t need them. In Camelot, when Gaius was watching, he always had said something, because he knew he had freaked the physician out whenever he had done magic without words. With only Arthur around, he didn’t care anymore. It wasn’t as if Arthur would notice things like that.

“Huh. You can do magic without using spells?”

Alas. Merlin shoulders slumped. “Would you be more comfortable when I would use some words you couldn’t understand anyway?” he asked.

Arthur raised his hands. “No need to get snappish, Merlin. I’m not used to any of this… but let me tell you, the moment we have some time, you will fill me in on that.”

***

After they drunk the awful tea –Merlin really should had paid more attention to Gaius when the man made tea, but usually Merlin had been asleep then – Arthur started to get restless. He looked after the horses, packed the furs and blankets and paced around without any reason Merlin could detect. The sorcerer just sat on one of the rocks that were ice cold even after he had swept off the snow and tried not to look too annoyed. Or too scared. The latter was more difficult. After a few minutes, Arthur stopped right in front of him. Merlin looked up at the prince.

“Alright, I have no idea where we could go,” Arthur groused. “I thought about it for hours now, but I just don’t know. We can’t go to Wessex or Mercia, Northumberland is too far away anyway. All of the kingdoms which had sworn loyalty to my father are out… the Lords there would just arrest me for Uther and kill you on the spot. When we try to sneak in one of the hostile realms, you would have a chance to survive, especially if we chose one where magic is allowed. For me… well, the best case scenario would be that I would be taken hostage. Worst case, they will kill me. Not exactly something I look forward to.” Arthur sighed. “So, I am open to suggestions. Can you think of somewhere? A quick answer would be very welcome, though… we have to leave as soon as possible.”

Merlin looked down at his feet. He could think of something but he wasn’t sure how Arthur would react. He glanced at the prince full of insecurity.

“Well? Spit it out, man! I can see you have an idea and I already know I won’t like it. Just tell me.”

Merlin swallowed. “Er… I know of some place… some magical place. I’m sure no one can find us there. I don’t think anyone who isn’t able to work magic can even see it, let alone find it.”

“Great idea. For you. And me? I can’t do any magic as I hope you know.”

“That… wouldn’t matter, I think. When you’re with me it shouldn’t be a problem. You were already there once, accompanied by other… er, magical beings,” Merlin said and winced.

“What are you talking about? I hadn’t been anywhere…”

Merlin interrupted him. “Yes, you had been. You just can’t remember it. It was when you had… thought you had eloped with Sophia.” Merlin huffed silently. “I really hate to tell you this, but I didn’t knock you out with a lump of wood.”

Arthur stared at him for awhile and then sat down hard on the rock right in front of the sorcerer. “I’m tempted to say I’m glad to hear that but I have the feeling that whatever you will tell me in the next minute I’ll hate even more. But anyway, do tell.”

So Merlin talked. He told the whole story and after awhile he couldn’t look at the prince anymore. To say Arthur looked shell-shocked would have been an understatement. After Merlin finished with how he had drawn the unconscious prince out of the water, he fell silent.
For a few minutes neither man spoke. Then Arthur rallied.

“So what are you saying? You want to go back to that lake? Where those… what did you call them? Sidhe?…are living? Are you insane? They don’t sound exactly as something I want to deal with every day.”

“I don’t think the Sidhe are dangerous creatures, Arthur. Yes, they were angry when I saw them, but they were angry at Aulfric. As far as I know – at least that’s what Gaius told me- they don’t care about mortals. They’re the guardians of Avalon. I’m sure they would ignore us. When I was there the third time, alone…”

“You went back there again?”

“Uh… yes. I had to take care of something else… and I didn’t see the Sidhe anywhere.”

“This ‘taking care of something’… I guess that’s a story for another time?”

Merlin remembered that day, the way The Sword had glinted in the sunlight, only to be swallowed by the dark waters. He shivered slightly and heard the whispering of his magic all around him. He said, “yes, that’s definitely a telling for another day, Arthur. I will explain everything to you… I think it will become very important some day. But not now.” Merlin looked at the prince. “What do you think?”

Arthur stood up again and went to the still smoldering fire pit. He stared at it for awhile, then started to shove snow and dirt on it with his boots. After that, he straightened and turned around.

“Alright Merlin, we can at least try it out. It’s not as if we have many options here. Do you know in which direction we must go?”

“Er… it’s not a direction exactly.” Merlin saw Arthur’s eyebrows were drawing together and hurried on. “I said it before, it’s a magical place. I don’t think it’s very far away if you know how to reach it, no matter where you are at the moment. We have to bind the horses together, so I won’t just vanish from your eyes. I’ll take the lead.” He smiled a little. “Can you live with that, Sire?”

Merlin just managed to duck from the flying horse blanket he saw coming in his direction.

Chapter 3: Arthur

Dammit. Arthur had hoped he had been wrong about his father following them. Now they were dashing through the dark winter woods with his father and his guards close behind them. The prince knew both he and Merlin should thank the Gods they hadn’t been caught yet. It had been sheer coincidence that his companion had seen the red cloak the King wore. Just like him… to wear this pompous cape even when hunting down his own son, Arthur thought full of disgust.

The prince ducked just in time to avoid getting another branch in his face; the first one had been bad enough. He was bleeding all over his face since that happened, and he had seen the frightened look Merlin had sent him. Arthur could relate; he was feeling awful. Dizzy and cold and yet at the same time feverish again. He wasn’t in the condition for this chivvy through the snow and he didn’t know how long he could keep riding with this speed. But he had to… Merlin would be dead when his father caught them. And knowing Merlin Arthur knew the moron wouldn’t leave his side, not even when Death himself rode on a horse right behind them…

There was a sudden jerk, during which Arthur barely managed to stay in the saddle, and then his horse began to buck. The prince didn’t stand a chance. He flew over the head of the horse and landed on his left side in the snow, his arm making a sickening cracking sound. Arthur just lay there, panting for air. The pain in his left arm was surreal. There was no need to look for what happened; Arthur already knew. They had bound their horses together because Merlin had been afraid to lose Arthur whenever he found that damned lake and now the horse with their bags, food and furs obviously got stuck on one of those bushes with thorns.

“ARTHUR!”

Yes Merlin, Arthur thought, I can see it. He couldn’t make a sound but his eyes were functioning. He could see the still bucking horses coming his way. But he couldn’t move anymore. Suddenly he felt someone grab him on both arms and draw him back from the wild animals. Arthur screamed, he couldn’t help it, but the other hands were relentless. He was dragged into the woods by a panicked Merlin who didn’t seem to be able to just let him go, even when they were away far enough.

“Merlin, let me…,” Arthur whispered. “Let go off me.”

Merlin laid him down carefully, looked at him for a moment out of crazed eyes, and then the idiot started back for the horses.

“MERLIN!” Gods, that hurt! “Merlin, stop that! You’ll never get them untangled anyway.”

His former manservant hesitated, threw another glance at him and then turned his head again and stared at something in the distance, looking like a deer surrounded by wolves. The prince could already hear the men and the dogs.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted. “Run! Run as fast as you can!” Not that it would do him any good; the moment his father would notice they were separated he would release his dogs. Merlin would be hunted down and mauled by bloodhounds. That image was so horrifying that Arthur couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

The next moment Merlin hoisted him up again, threw Arthur’s body over his shoulder and began to run.

“Merlin, stop that. Please stop, my arm…,” Arthur moaned. He didn’t think Merlin even heard him. How he was able to run with Arthur’s weight on him, the prince didn’t know. But ran he did – like a rabbit. The upside down position Arthur was in and the bobbing around made bile rise in his throat; he clung with everything he had to consciousness. This was madness. To his horror, Arthur suddenly noticed that they left everything behind; he didn’t even have his sword anymore. The only thing left for protection was his right hand. Arthur wondered, dazed, how it would feel when one of the dogs bit his fingers off. Then darkness closed around him.

***

Arthur regained his consciousness slowly. He had no idea where he was, what had happened and what that strange rustling sound was. Without giving away he was awake, the prince tried to remember… and in a rush everything came back to him. Gods. What had happened after he had passed out? Where was he? And, more important, what had happened to Merlin? The strangest thing was that he felt no pain at all. Arthur could remember in detail that he had broken his arm and the Gods knew what else and the fact he didn’t hurt could only mean that he had been unconscious for a very long time. He reached out with his other senses and noticed he was lying on something soft, he could hear birds singing and it was warm.

No, please no, Arthur thought. The last time he had been awake it had been winter, and now the smell in the air spoke of late spring, maybe even summer. And that meant he had been out for months, that he was back at Camelot and that Merlin was dead. The breath hitched in his throat. That wasn’t acceptable. Merlin couldn’t be dead; Arthur couldn’t even bear to think it. He felt hot tears rising behind his closed eyelids and he didn’t care. He didn’t care.

“Arthur?” A very familiar voice asked hesitantly. “Are you awake?”

Arthur’s eyes snapped open. Above him was the face of his ex-manservant, looking worried. The tears escaped.

“Arthur? Gods, what is it?” The prince felt Merlin’s fingertips on his cheeks, wiping away the wetness. “Do you still hurt badly? Dammit, I’m so useless!”

Arthur just continued to stare at Merlin for some time, not caring at all that his eyes were still leaking. How could that be? He thought. Why was Merlin still alive?

Finally, Arthur tore his eyes away from the other man, looking around. He started to sit up very quickly, and almost went down again; Merlin just caught him in time.

“Easy, Arthur. You were unconscious for hours; I didn’t know what to do when you wouldn’t wake…” The prince interrupted him.

“Hours? What do you mean, hours? Where are we?”

“Er…,” Merlin stuttered, “I guess you have to see this with your own eyes. But still, get up slowly, alright?”

With Merlin’s help, Arthur stood up. He was inside some sort of hut made out of wood. One big room, as far as he could tell. The prince’s glance fell on some kind of stove, weirdly shaped. When he looked down, he froze where he stood. Under his naked feet, there was a giant rug with beautiful unicorns all over it. Arthur closed his eyes for a minute, turned around and opened them again. There was a large bed. His bed. The bed which should have stood in his chambers in Camelot; there were even his blankets and pillows. Arthur was beginning to suspect he was dreaming. This couldn’t be real. He stole a glance at Merlin and the other man immediately averted his gaze.

“Merlin, what… how…?” Arthur stopped as soon as he saw the two windows and what lay behind them. Gods in Heaven. He shook off Merlin’s supporting arm, went to one of the windows, and then swung to the left and opened the door. There he stood still on the threshold and just stared.

Interlude: Uther

The King was infuriated, storming through his castle like the Great Dragon himself. He had been close, so close. He had seen the warlock stumbling, almost dropping Uther’s injured or already dead son. Uther just had had to reach out with his hand and he could have grabbed the red scarf around that scrawny neck. And then… they had vanished. Right before his eyes, they had vanished and only left a strange mist behind.

ARTHUR! He had lost his son to sorcery, just as he had lost his beloved wife years before. If Albion thought the King a cruel and uncaring man… now they would learn. Oh, they would all learn. There would be no mercy anymore. Never.

Chapter 4: Merlin

Merlin looked at Arthur’s back and swallowed. He had no idea at all how the other man would react to their surroundings. But right at this moment, Merlin wasn’t really able to worry too much. He was just glad Arthur had woken up; the prince had been unconscious for so long that Merlin had feared he had killed the man.

Merlin shivered slightly. He could still hear the panting of the hounds and the yells of Uther. It had been very close. Merlin wasn’t sure how he had managed to escape; he had just wished with all he had to reach the lake and suddenly he had been here, landing on his arse and tumbling down the shore. He had barely avoided falling into the lake with the prince on his back. Then he had turned around and expected to see Uther and the guards but they hadn’t been there. And there hadn’t been any snow either. The first thing he had really seen was a white butterfly with black dots right in front of his nose, sitting on a dandelion. Then he had noticed how warm it had been. And then…

“Merlin?”

The sorcerer startled back to presence. Looking up to the other man, he saw Arthur had turned around and stared at him with the weirdest expression Merlin had ever seen on any face. Right.

“Um… I take it you can’t remember this place, can you?”

“No. Merlin, I… well, maybe. But it’s like I dreamt about this place, not as if I had been really here, you know?”

“Sophia enchanted you. The fact that you can remember anything at all is amazing, really.”

Merlin rolled his eyes at his own words. Could he sound any more stupid? The only amazing thing here was that Arthur hadn’t called him idiot yet.

“Merlin? MERLIN?”

Shit. “Yes?”

“What is this? I mean, this is my bed. How…?”

Merlin’s shoulders slumped. How could he explain the bed? The rest… well. But the bed. He felt blood rising to his face; especially to his ears. Great.

“Arthur, I just… um…,” Merlin stuttered and fell silent. What could he say? Merlin didn’t think it would go over well with the prince if he told him how often Merlin had stared at that bed and the blankets and the damn pillows and how often he had wished he could lie in there with Arthur. And Merlin was very sure that was why this bed had appeared out of nowhere when he tried to conjure up some bed. When he had first seen it he had wondered for a moment if it was really Arthur’s bed and then he had seen the little ‘M’ carving at the bottom of the left post. Oh yes. This was Arthur’s bed. And Merlin wondered what the people in Camelot would think if they saw the prince’s empty chambers. He especially wondered what Morgana would think. Gods.

“MERLIN! Could you concentrate for a moment?”

“What? I needed a bed for you. It just appeared. I am a sorcerer, I can do things.”

This was it. Offence. Arthur didn’t know shit about magic. Merlin could say whatever he wanted… if he still wanted to lie. His shoulders slumped even lower.

“Arthur, I…”

But the prince was already on the next topic. “What is this?” He asked, pointing at the… stove.

“Um…” Merlin sighed. Maybe he should just drown himself in the lake. That would be easier.

“That’s a… stove. A stove. You know, to cook things… and stuff?”

“I never saw a stove like that in my whole life. Why is it blue?”

Merlin had no idea at all. That thing had just appeared, he didn’t even know where to put the wood. He scratched his head.

“I don’t know. Honestly I have no idea. I was a little rushed, you know. You were bleeding all over the place, and you had a broken arm, fever, you were unconscious and I…”

“Hey, easy there.” Arthur was suddenly right in front of Merlin, taking his arm. And the prince looked kind of blurry to Merlin. Great. He was bawling again. If Merlin didn’t know for sure he could pee while standing up, he would think himself a girl.

“Merlin, please calm down, alright? You healed me. Again. Thank you. I feel fine. I just want to understand a few things… and the stove isn’t really that important.” Arthur threw a quick glance at that thing. “I don’t know how to cook anyway.”

“Me neither.”

“See? I shouldn’t have asked. And I won’t ask about the rug either. Although, wow, beautiful. What I really want to know, Merlin, is how you escaped my father?”

***

A few hours later, both men sat on a brand new wooden bench overlooking the lake. The sun had begun to set and the white mists on the other side of the lake were now barely visual. Merlin had told Arthur everything he could think of, starting with their successful escape, how Merlin had made that hut and the stuff in it. Then he had told the prince about what had happened the last year in Camelot; he had also told him about his fear of discovery. That part had been hard, but Merlin had promised himself he wouldn’t lie anymore. He just left out the feelings he had for Arthur, and that wasn’t lying. That was avoiding disaster.

“And you really think we can stay here for awhile?” Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded. “I felt welcome here at once. You know, I didn’t think I could do all this stuff I did in the last hours. I think this place enhances my powers.” Merlin hesitated, because that didn’t feel right. “Or maybe… it sets them free. I’m not sure.”

“Hm. And on the ground of the lake there is the sword?”

“Yes.” Merlin shivered.

“What is it?”

“I… I really don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know why… I’m sorry.”

Arthur just nodded. He glanced around for awhile, and then asked, “behind those mists, there is Avalon?”

Merlin stood up abruptly and went down to the lake; he looked down at the water and crossed his arms. Behind him, he heard Arthur say, “huh. I guess that’s another thing you don’t want to talk about?”

Indeed. Merlin didn’t want to and he didn’t know why. He had that one glimpse at Avalon and it had been beautiful. But every time he thought of Avalon and Arthur, his blood ran cold. So he just kept quiet.

After a few seconds, he heard Arthur sigh. “Alright, Merlin, keep your secrets.”

Merlin turned around quickly. “There are no secrets! I just don’t want to talk about something I don’t understand myself, okay?”

Arthur raised his hands. “No need to yell like a fishwife. It’s alright. You’re saying no secrets, I believe you.”

Dammit. There was a real big fat secret. And Merlin couldn’t tell. So he did what any sane person would do. He huffed and went up to their hut. In other words, he fled.

***

“So, tell me again. You can go to a magical place, you talk to dragons, you can fight monsters, but you can’t make anything to eat?”

Merlin wondered if he would be able to hex Arthur into silence. He was frustrated enough to do something drastic now. For an hour at least he had tried to magick some food. But so far, nothing. Not even an apple. Not even rat stew. He sighed.

“Obviously not.”

“So what now? We’ll starve?”

“I did manage the crossbows and the arrows. You can hunt something and I can look for some fruits or vegetables. Or mushrooms. There are woods all around us.”

“It’s dark outside.”

“Arthur, I think you will live even if you don’t eat anything tonight. And don’t you dare tell me again you’re hungry! If I hear those words again you will sleep on the floor tonight!”

Only after he saw how Arthur suddenly looked at him, Merlin noticed what he just had said.

“Er…”

“You know, that’s an interesting question. Why is there only one bed?”

“Because there was no time before. I’ll make another one right now.”

Somehow Merlin managed to not make a face at Arthur. He stood up, walked into the middle of the room and concentrated. He thought of his own bed in Camelot and reached out with his magic.

A few very silent minutes later Merlin tried to conjure up at least a paillasse. He was close to ripping his hairs out. Nothing happened. Nothing. He could almost hear the Fates laughing at him.

“Merlin? Maybe you dried up or something?”

The next moment, Merlin heard Arthur yelp. As he turned around he saw the prince sitting on his arse on the rug. His chair had… vanished.

“Dried up, huh?”

Arthur stared up at him; mouth hanging open. Merlin expected him to start yelling any minute now. What he didn’t expect was that Arthur suddenly started to laugh loudly. And wasn’t able to stop for quite some time. Gods, this was contagious.

Some time later, both men were lying on the rug, wiping away tears and still giggling.

“Well,” Arthur said, “I guess the bed is big enough for both of us.”

Merlin closed his eyes.

***

Part 3

Merlin Fic: Within Temptation (1/3)

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:49:10 GMT

Title: Within Temptation
Summary: Arthur had never seen this expression on his father’s face before.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Angst, Romance, Action/Adventure, Spoilers for Season One
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 12.590
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.
Author’s note: I’m screwing around with the Arthurian legend.

I can’t thank my awesome beta kelsrealm enough. She made me love my own story again, cheered me on, found a beautiful song and therefore the title of this story. Kel, I really wouldn’t know what I would do without you!

Within Temptation

Prologue: The Dragon

The Dragon woke up with a start. What was happening? What was the warlock doing? What…? NO! NO! That wasn’t how it was meant to be! NO!

Chapter 1: Arthur

The moment Uther left Arthur’s chambers it got very quiet. Merlin was still sitting on the bed, he seemed unable to move one muscle. He was ghostly pale and shivering so badly the whole bed trembled.

Serves him right, Arthur thought. The prince was sitting at the table, staring at the door. He just had… he just had… Arthur buried his face in his hands. He tried to control his breathing, but had no luck. The way the King had looked at him… he had never seen this expression on his father’s face. Gods.

“Arthur, I’m so sorry.”

“Shut up Merlin. If you want to survive the next minutes, shut up or I will run you through.”
Merlin fell silent again. His whole face seemed to consist only of enormous blue eyes out of which he stared at the prince. Arthur turned away; he didn’t want to see the scared look on Merlin’s face, he didn’t want to see any of Merlin right now.

The door banged open and before Arthur even had the change to react, a sobbing Morgana swept in, saw him and froze where she stood – on the threshold.

“Come in or get out, just close that door,” Arthur hissed.

“Arthur! Gods, you are alive! I thought… when I saw Uther I thought… you were dead!”

Morgana threw herself in Arthur’s direction, thankfully closing the door behind her. She tried to embrace him and Arthur shoved her back violently. Morgana barely managed to get a hold on the table and stared at him.

“Arthur, what happened? Why are you…? Gaius said you wouldn’t survive the night!”

“Well, he was wrong. As you can see, I’m fine.”

“But how? You were burning up two hours ago. I don’t understand…”

Morgana was interrupted as the door flew open again. Gaius rushed in and froze just as Morgana did a minute ago, mouth hanging open.

“Close that door.”

The court physician did so without taking his eyes off Arthur.

“Sire, you seem… well? When I saw the king…”

Great. What did his father do? Run around the whole castle banging doors everywhere? It wasn’t as if Uther’s chambers were so far away from his own. Maybe Arthur should expect to see a parade of noble men and knights in the next minutes.

“Sire? What happened?” Arthur saw Gaius threw a look at Merlin. Of course.

“Do I really need explain anything to you? You seem to already know what has happened!”

“Well, I don’t!” Morgana said. “So please do tell me what’s going on here!”

“You want to know? Fine, I will tell you! I was lying in my bed, begging for a quick death, trying not to scream from the pain because my father was sitting right beside me, when my manservant crept in. He came over to me, laid his hands on my stomach and cast some sort of spell at me in front of my father! That’s what happened.”

“I thought he was asleep.”

Arthur stood up, turned around and grabbed Merlin’s shoulders, hoisted him up from the bed and shook him.

“I told you to shut up! I mean it! I’ll wring your neck if I hear another word coming from you! Is that understood?”

The moron tried to jostle him. “I didn’t know what to do! Gaius said you wouldn’t survive the night and your father wouldn’t leave your side and I… I just had to!” Merlin yelled. “You would be dead by now if I hadn’t done what I did! I was aware that it could cost me my life! What I didn’t expect was… was… why did you do that?”

“Merlin, you’re a sorcerer?” Morgana said.

“Uther saw you casting a spell?” Gaius asked at the same time.

Arthur snarled. “Yes, and yes!” He shoved Merlin back on the bed. The sorcerer went down like a sack of potatoes. Gods, Arthur had been so stupid! Many, many things were starting to make sense now. And even more things would make sense the moment he would be alone with this little dishonest twit. Then, Arthur would shake every lie right out of Merlin.

“Sire… why is Merlin still alive?” Gaius hesitantly asked; Morgana was speechless. Thanks to the Gods for that bit of kindness.

Arthur stared at the old man for a minute; he wasn’t sure if he could say it out loud. He almost expected Merlin to say something – usually the idiot didn’t obey him anyway. But no sound came from that direction. Arthur couldn’t really blame him for keeping silent now.

Sadly, Morgana found her tongue again. “Uther wouldn’t kill Merlin when he just saved Arthur’s life!”

The prince chuckled without humor. “There you would be wrong, Morgana. He tried to kill him immediately, with that battle axe from my wall,” he said, pointing at the deadly weapon lying on the floor.

Morgana stared at him; as did Gaius. Arthur sighed and sat down beside Merlin on the bed, shoving the moron away a little just because he could. He felt tired and still exhausted from that mysterious illness that had befallen him two days ago. Arthur hadn’t known such pain existed. The right side of his belly had seemed to be aflame, he had been sick to the stomach for hours and then the fever had claimed him. He had just wanted to die.

Arthur looked at the two people gaping at him. He sighed again. “I shoved this idiot out of the way. In his haste to kill him, my father almost hacked me in two. Then… well, I got out of bed. Quickly. My father and I… we argued.” Yelled at each other, would be more fitting. He continued. “My father tried to get around me and took another swing at Merlin. I… ,” Arthur swallowed, “I drew my sword.”

The room sat silent.

“I challenged my father over Merlin. I challenged my father over you, you asshole!” Arthur shouted at Merlin.

“I didn’t ask you to do that!”

“Shut up! Shut up and get up from the bed and make yourself useful, you idiot. You know what to do!”
Merlin looked at Arthur for a moment, pale again, and then stood up and went over to an armoire. Arthur watched him open it and take clothes out.

“What… how did Uther react?” Morgana asked quietly; Gaius sat down at the table, looking as if his legs wouldn’t support him any longer.

“He was… surprised.” Now that was an understatement. The King had been aghast, to say the least. Arthur started to rub the bridge of his nose; inwardly, he felt close to hysterics. He never felt close to hysterics. “He told me to get out of his way. I said I couldn’t. He asked me why. I said… I said… Gods! I told my father Merlin is my lover. I told him I’m in love with him.” There, he said it. For the second time tonight. It sounded just as awful as before.

“What?!” Morgana and Gaius screeched simultaneously. Of course, Morgana immediately shrieked on. “You are lovers? What? Since when?”

“No! We’re not! Of course not!” Arthur roared. Was that woman daft?

“Now why in heaven’s name did you say such a thing?”

“I couldn’t think of anything else! Dammit!”

Everyone seemed to be frozen. Morgana and Gaius were at the table, Merlin to his right side at the board. Arthur marched over to his servant and shoved him again. “Get on with it, idiot!” Then he went to his chest, opened it and started to fling leather bags at Merlin.

“Sire, what are you doing?” Gaius asked.

“I’m packing! And you can drop the ‘Sire’.”

Morgana who had just sat down, now stood up again. “What do you mean, ‘you’re packing’?” she said anxiously. “Where are you going?”

“Morgana, I have no idea yet where I’m going. Maybe the Almighty Sorcerer will think of something?” Arthur glanced at Merlin, “I thought not.”

Gaius also stood up. He went to Arthur and took his arm. “My boy, what did Uther do?”
Arthur swallowed. “He disinherited me. He banned us. I’m not the Crown Prince anymore. Hell, I don’t think I’m a prince anymore. By dawn tomorrow, we’re outcasts. “

***

Both Morgana and Gaius had left, shocked. Gaius had said he would pack Merlin’s things and would provide them with food and medicine. Morgana had stormed out, no doubt in direction of Uther’s chambers where she would most probably get her head ripped off by Arthur’s furious father.

Watching Merlin throwing clothes and weapons in bags, Arthur sat down again at the table and put his boots on. He had no idea what to do. Where should they go? It was winter and bitter cold outside. Arthur doubted they would survive for long; especially when his father decided to send the guards for them to kill Merlin after all.

Exile.

They had to leave, otherwise Merlin would be executed at sunrise tomorrow. Arthur wasn’t the Heir anymore. His whole future had collapsed right in front of him. He should hate Merlin for all this but he couldn’t. First of all, Merlin had saved his life tonight, without any regard for his own safety. Secondly, the more time Arthur had to think the more he started to recognize that he very well might owe his life to Merlin over and over again. And thirdly… Arthur wouldn’t have been able to hate him even if Merlin had never done anything to protect the prince. His incompetent manservant had somehow managed to get under his skin, to get closer to Arthur than anyone else ever had. Merlin was so much more than just a servant, hell, he was more than a friend. The prince huffed quietly. He knew what his father would say to that; Uther would believe that the evil sorcerer had somehow enchanted his son. But Arthur knew better. That wasn’t something Merlin would do – no, the evil sorcerer had hissed and spat at the prince from the first day on, had insulted him, had bantered with him. He had made Arthur laugh every day for the last year.

“Arthur?”

"Yes?"

“I’m… I’m really sorry. Really. I know it’s too little too late but I want you to know it anyway.”

Arthur turned sideways to take a look at the other man. Merlin was still deathly pale, his eyes were red and suspiciously bright. His hands which held a set of Arthur’s knives were trembling. Arthur stood up and went to him. After taking the knives away from his manservant he laid his hands on Merlin’s shoulders and said, “You know, it’s not really your fault. None of it. Without you, I would be dead by now.” The prince continued to look at the crestfallen man, “I think with all the excitement, I forgot to say, thank you for helping me. I mean that. I was in agony and with a few words you made all that go away.”

“But at what price? Your future, Arthur, your life?”

The prince shook his head. “That’s not your fault either. My father decided that. If he wasn’t so blinded by hate and fear, he could have just taken one look at you and seen who you really are. You may be a moron, but you are also the most loyal man in this whole damn kingdom.”
The first tear escaped from Merlin’s eyes. He swallowed hard and looked down, away from the prince’s gaze, still shivering. Arthur hesitated a moment, then drew Merlin into his arms. Merlin immediately clung to him hard, sobbing quietly now. Arthur would have never done this with another man but with Merlin, things were different. Everything was different.

Finally the younger man drew back. He looked at Arthur a little embarrassed and tried to wipe the tears away inconspicuously.

“Do you feel better now?”

“No, not really,” Merlin said. Sighing, he continued, “I guess I better go back to packing.”

“I’ll help you. The sooner we leave the further away we’ll be when my father changes his mind and comes after us.”

“You think he will do that?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t expect him to behave this way tonight either. I think we should be on our guard for anything.” Arthur went over to the already packed bags, glanced at them and sighed. “Merlin, I really won’t need all those fine clothes where we’re going. It’s just ballast. Let’s stick to everything warm looking we can find… it’s cold out there. And we’ll take two crossbows, as many arrows you can find, chain mail for both of us and two swords.” Arthur looked at Merlin for a moment. “I don’t think I ever saw you in warm clothes… take some of mine for you and try out some of my warmer boots. We’ll need a sharpening stone and flintstones…” Merlin interrupted him.

“No, we don’t. I can start a fire without help.”

“You can? Handy.”

Merlin suddenly looked on the verge of tears again.
“What is it?” Arthur asked.

“Nothing. Just… Gaius said the same thing to me once. I guess I just realized that I won’t… see him again after tonight.”

Arthur didn’t know how to answer that. He looked down for a moment, and then just got on with the packing. After a minute, Merlin joined him.

***

They left Camelot three hours later, bidding their farewell to a crying Gwen, a sobbing Morgana and Gaius, who looked at least ten years older. The old physician had packed them a horse with food, furs, medicine and the Gods know what else, and provided them with two other already saddled horses from Arthur’s stable.

When they were on the road to the woods, Arthur turned his horse around again and took a final glance at the castle, his home till tonight. He tried to memorize everything, and then his glance fell on the windows of his father’s chambers. There were still lights on. Arthur felt his face harden. So be it, he thought. He turned the horse back to Merlin and they rode on into the dark woods. It started to snow.

Chapter 2: Merlin

Merlin stared into the flames. He felt miserable; he was tired to the bone and freezing. Somehow the furs didn’t hold off the bitter cold at all. Merlin still couldn’t get his head around what happened in the last day. Gods, Arthur was right, he was an idiot. All his good intentions… Merlin swallowed a sob. He had been so sure about his powers, his cleverness, his great destiny at the side of the Once and Future King. And what had he done? He had destroyed everything.

Merlin could remember his fear about the dying prince, his headless rush to Arthur’s chambers. If he had just stopped for a minute and thought the whole thing through. Maybe he should have talked with Gaius about it. There would have been some way to elicit Uther from his son’s rooms; Gaius could have thought of something. But no, Merlin had been sure he had to act immediately and damn the consequences. He had been used to getting away with stuff like that for too long; and the moment he had realized that Uther was indeed awake beside Arthur, Merlin had been paralyzed. And Gods, the King had been quick. Merlin had seen that battle axe coming his way and instead of moving away he had closed his eyes. Just to find himself sitting on his arse in the middle of the room a second later. Then he had just stared at the furious men shouting at each other. Arthur had been so beautiful in his protecting rage; Merlin hadn’t been able to look away from him for a moment. And when the prince had drawn his sword… Merlin stopped himself. There was no good in dwelling on how gorgeous Arthur was; Merlin knew that for a long time now. It only brought pain for Merlin.

And still… when he had heard Arthur saying that the prince was in love with him, Merlin had had the feeling his heart stopped. He had known it wasn’t the truth right at that moment but something inside him hadn’t cared. He had wanted Arthur to say this and mean it. But there was no chance in hell that this would ever happen; after yesterday even less so.

Merlin looked over to the place where Arthur was lying, deeply asleep. He knew for a long time that Arthur wasn’t into men; he had seen the looks the prince had thrown at the many beautiful women in Camelot. Beautiful women with beautiful curves. Merlin didn’t need a mirror to know that he looked nothing like that. He was extremely skinny, had a bony face and ridiculous looking ears. Maybe if he had Lancelot’s looks… the almost knight was a very handsome man and the only one Arthur had ever looked at with a certain gleam in his eyes. But Merlin didn’t look like Lancelot either, and never would. The only thing they had in common was the dark hair, and Merlin really didn’t think that Arthur would fall for his manservant over the colour of his hair.

Merlin sighed quietly. It should be enough for him that Arthur liked him; even considered him a friend. No matter how often the prince insulted him, Merlin knew – and not only since yesterday- that Arthur cared deeply about him. But it wasn’t enough; it never would be. Merlin considered beating his head against some of the rocks around them… he wanted to stop feeling this way and he knew he had to stop. They were alone now and no one could know how long this isolation would last. If Arthur found out about how Merlin felt… that was unthinkable. He had been very lucky last night when Arthur had yelled at Morgana that of course they weren’t lovers that his own back had been the only thing anyone could have seen. If someone would have glanced at his face at that moment… Merlin was sure his feelings had been written all over it.

Merlin sighed again. The last hours had been eerie. The snow had been coming down hard and neither of them had known anymore where they had been going. Arthur had murmured something about the snow covering their traces and therefore it was a good thing. That had been just about everything Arthur had said the whole day. They had been riding the last night and the following day without any rest; and only at nightfall today Arthur had decided to seek for a place where they could pause for the night. No matter how far they had ridden, they were still in Uther’s realm, that much was clear to both of them. Merlin had magicked wood from the surrounding trees and had started a fire immediately; the prince hadn’t even mentioned the sorcery. He had just eaten some dried meat and then had made himself ‘comfortable’ on the ground, with lots of unhappy grunting sounds.

Merlin looked again at the sleeping man. He was concerned about Arthur; not only for the lack of insults but also for the way the prince looked. He still seemed to be ill, and he was obviously more exhausted than Merlin. Even in sleep, there were worry lines etched into Arthur’s face; he looked deeply unhappy and desolate to Merlin. There was no trace of the boyish face Merlin was used to. Well, how could it? Arthur’s future was destroyed and this was all Merlin’s doing. He felt like he would crumble from all that guilt.

Merlin started to tremble all over, from despair and the cold. He tried to stop his teeth from chattering. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if he froze to death? Maybe then Arthur could go home again, telling his father the warlock was dead and Arthur had come to his senses? Merlin was sure Uther would be delighted.

“Merlin?”

The sorcerer jumped. Although he had been still staring at Arthur, he had failed to notice that the other man had opened his eyes and started to look back at Merlin.

“Yes? What is it? Do you feel sick again?”

“No. I mean, I’ve felt better but I think I’m just tired now.” Arthur grimaced. Obviously the prince wasn’t too happy about admitting that. Merlin knew how proud Arthur was; to confess even tiredness meant the prince was in a terrible condition.

“Arthur, you should go back to sleep. Believe me, you don’t look so good. You shouldn’t be here, you should be in your bed recovering,” Merlin said, already wincing and waiting for being reminded at once why Arthur wasn’t in his bed right now.

But the prince just looked at him some more and then said, “Get your arse over here. I can see from where I’m lying that you’re starting to look blue in the face. I haven’t rescued you from my father just to watch you dying from the cold now.”

Merlin swallowed around the lump in his throat. “What do you mean, ‘get over here’?”

“I’m cold myself, Merlin. I guess it’s reasonable to share this cosy bed. Two people create more body heat.”

Merlin stared and didn’t move one muscle. He had suspected before that the Fates hated him; now he knew for sure. No way could he sleep beside Arthur. No way.

“Stop being skittish and move your arse over here, Merlin! I promise not to molest you in your sleep.”

Yes, the Fates hated him with a vengeance. Merlin stood up and almost fell head first into the fire. Gods, he wasn’t only trembling, he was already frozen.

“Please, don’t kill yourself before you even get here, would you? Your dead body won’t be of any use to me.”

Merlin made a face at Arthur and trotted over. Inwardly, he was glad at the banter. It meant the prince wouldn’t be dying anytime soon. When he stood over the lying man and saw him throwing the fur covers back, Merlin swallowed again. This was awful. Not at all like in the fantasies he had about such a thing. Firstly, in his fantasies this would happen on a warm summer night, both of them at rest from a hunt. Secondly, Arthur’s eyes usually looked inviting or affectionate and not irritated, like now.

“What are you waiting for? Get in, I’m freezing!”

Merlin got on his knees and slipped in. He didn’t know where to put his legs, he didn’t know what to do with his arms and hands. He tried to stay away from Arthur as much as possible, no matter how inviting the warmth was.

“Gods, Merlin! You’re cold as ice!” Arthur complained. And then Arthur just turned Merlin around until his back was against Arthur’s chest. The prince drew him as close as possible, their legs were intertwining and Merlin could feel Arthur’s breath on his left ear. He smelled the prince all around him.

“Go to sleep, Merlin. We have to ride at dawn, and we have to decide tomorrow where we’ll be going,” the prince said, tightening his arms around Merlin’s waist.
Sleep. Sure. As if Merlin could sleep now. He wouldn’t be able to close his eyes let alone go to sleep. No matter how warm it was under Arthur’s furs and blankets, no matter how protected Merlin suddenly felt. He would never be able to…

***

Part 2

Merlin Not Even A Drabble: Grumpy Old Men

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 21:40:56 GMT

Title: Grumpy Old Men
Summary: You’re joking, right?
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, Established Relationship, Nonsense
Rating: R
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: Not even a drabble. 88 words.
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

Author’s notes: Unbetaed, because I couldn’t do this to my beloved beta. Please don’t hurt me.

Grumpy Old Men

„This is disgusting.“

“I know. Still, you should drink it. If I use magic on your cock again, I think it will fall off.”

“As if you could do anything to make him fall of. As if you would.”

“You’re right. It’s the only thing useful about you. At least sometimes.”

“If you hadn’t killed Mordred, we could be in Avalon right now, young and fucking like rabbits. But no, the great sorcerer just had to…”

“Shut up, Arthur, or I promise I will hex it off.”

The End.

Merlin Fic: Trapped

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:19:51 GMT

Title: Trapped
Summary: Arthur notices something’s not right with his manservant.
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Angst, Attempted Non-Con, Protective!Arthur, Spoilers for Season One
Rating: R for Violence
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 6.484
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.
Author’s notes: This is not the epic. Just another story that demanded to be written at once. *sighs*

My thanks go as always to my brilliant beta kelsrealm who is not only willing to put up with my writing but also didn’t even twitch when I threw two stories at her at the same time. You rock, seetie!

Trapped

"You should consider it carefully, boy, I saw you were doing magic; now either you'll come down to the stables tonight or I will talk to Prince Arthur."

Merlin could only stare at the pockmarked face in front of him. This couldn’t be happening, could it? He wished fervently he had for once listened to Gaius and not practiced magic outside his room; but how could he have practiced summoning animals inside his chamber? Gaius surely would have disliked a parade of deer and falcons, not to mention the boars. So Merlin had done what he always did… he had thought no one would catch him when he was just careful enough. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He winced when he felt a slap on his face.

“Hey, are you deaf? Answer me, little wizard! What will it be? You keeping me company or am I telling your little secret to Arthur? Or maybe the King?”

“What do you want from me?”

The other man leered. “Don’t tell me I got myself an innocent little flower here? Take a look in the mirror, boy, and do not look at your ears. Look at your mouth and think about what it’s good for except whispering spells. I bet you can think of something… if not, I’ll be glad to show you tonight.”

“What? Are you crazy, I would never… let go off me!”

Merlin struggled but he had no chance. The man draw him near so Merlin could feel the other’s rancid breath on his face.

“Be very careful how you address me, boy. One word from me and you wouldn’t lose only your head, I could make sure you would beg for your death, believe me. I will await you at midnight. Do not disappoint me.”

And with that, Sir Thomas shoved Merlin away violently, watching him fall on his arse. Then King Uther's First Knight turned away, finally leaving for the gates of Camelot.

***

Merlin didn’t know how long he had sat in the weeds; he had been too numb to take notice of anything. He didn’t know what he should do. No one would believe him; well, maybe Gaius would but Gaius couldn’t help him. Merlin remembered all too well what had happened when they had tried to convince Uther that knight Valliant had been using a magic shield. The King wouldn’t have listened to them because a knight’s word was to be believed, not the word of a servant. And Valliant hadn’t even been one of Uther’s knights, let alone his most valued one. Merlin couldn’t tell Gaius… he wouldn’t involve the old man in something so horrible that was only his own fault.

Merlin shivered slightly. He could leave Camelot, of course. But where should he go? And more importantly, what would happen if Sir Thomas told the King about him? It would be just like Uther to not help his mother to avoid war when raiders attacked their village and then march right into said village to kill Merlin’s mother because she gave birth to a sorcerer.

And talking to Arthur… that was out of the question. Merlin had had lots of problems lately with the Crown Prince; he had been prattish like hell and Arthur’s temper had rivaled his father’s. Alright, Merlin had not been on his best the last days. To be honest, he had been really the worst manservant ever, as Arthur liked to remind him every day at least twice. The reason for his incompetence had been that Merlin had felt awful as if he were coming down with something. He had felt feverish for days and had a headache; he didn’t think it was something really serious, probably just the cold so many in Camelot had caught. Morgana was coughing like one of Arthur’s dogs for days now and even the King didn’t look so good lately. The problem was, this cold had interfered with his magic somehow, and since Arthur was by now unknowingly used to a manservant who was a warlock, things hadn’t went well at all. This morning, Merlin had finally felt a little better; and considering Gaius had been racing all over the castle to treat patients and Arthur hadn’t returned from patrol yet, Merlin had thought it would have been a really good idea to get some fresh air in the woods near to the castle and practise some of the new spells he had learned. Great idea.

Which brought him back to the disaster that had befallen him. Merlin didn’t delude himself… he knew that even if he would let Sir Thomas do with him what he wanted, there was no way that sooner or later the First Knight wouldn’t tell the King about the warlock anyway.

Merlin turned it over and over in his head, but he found no way out. He was trapped.

~ ~ ~

Arthur couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that he had just come back from the most awful patrol ever to find his manservant sitting in the grass just outside the castle, daydreaming. Sometimes the prince wondered if Merlin had any sense of his surroundings at all. For about five minutes, Arthur sat on his –snorting- horse behind his servant and Merlin didn’t even notice him.

He slowly pulled his right glove off, took aim shortly and threw it right at Merlin’s head. That got him a reaction, just not the one he had waited for. Oh Merlin jumped alright, but Arthur didn’t expect the fear he saw in his eyes. What was even more unsettling, the fear didn’t vanish as soon as Merlin saw who was behind him. To the contrary, it intensified. Arthur groaned inwardly. What had the fool done this time?

“Merlin, what’s going on?”

“Er… nothing, sire,” Merlin stuttered. “Sire, I’m sorry… I should have prepared your chambers by now, sire.”

Arthur stared at his manservant. Merlin had somehow just managed to call him ‘Sire’ three times in two sentences. This had never happened before. Never. And that meant things were well on their way to utter doom. Arthur dismounted and started to walk over to Merlin only to stop again. His manservant backed off rapidly. Gods.

“Merlin…”

“I’ll… I’ll just prepare your bath, sire. Again, I’m sorry, sire, I should have done this earlier.”

And with that, Merlin ran like a rabbit towards the castle, barely avoiding banging into one of the guards who obviously came looking for the missing prince. Arthur didn’t even acknowledge the man, he was too stunned by his servant’s behaviour. Whatever had happened, this was bad. Very bad.

***

“Sire, I should really help Gaius today,” Merlin almost begged.

Sitting in the hot water, Arthur watched his manservant fidgeting. He had barely managed to catch Merlin when he had come back to his chambers. Arthur still wondered how Merlin had prepared that bath so quickly; the fact that his rooms were almost tidy and that a fire was lit made him even more nervous. He loved to rant at Merlin about being the most awful servant ever… and now he knew he hated it when the other man suddenly became obedient. If Merlin would call him ‘Sire’ in this submissive tone again, Arthur would probably start screaming.

“No, Merlin, you won’t. I need you here with me today. Actually, I need you right here now to wash my back.”

Now that should get me at least an eye rolling, Arthur thought. He was wrong. Merlin stared at him for a moment, then his shoulders slumped. He trotted over to the tub, picked up a piece of linen and said, “very well, sire.”

Enough was enough. Arthur spun around, not minding the water sloshing all over and grabbed Merlin’s wrist. “What is going on with you?” Arthur asked in an angry tone.

Merlin tried feebly to free his wrist; only giving up when Arthur’s grip tightened even more.

“Nothing, si…”

“Stop calling me Sire! You’re freaking me out!” Arthur yelled.

Finally, finally Merlin rallied a bit.

“Oh, I am so sorry, my Lord” he snapped. “I really didn’t mean to be disrespectful! How can I ever make amends?”

“You could start with telling me what the hell has gotten into you today!”

And there went the most appreciated spark of defiance. Merlin looked at Arthur for awhile, and then dropped his eyes. He just shook his head with a pale face and said hoarsely, “nothing.”

Arthur drew the other man nearer, but Merlin refused to meet his eyes. The prince looked his manservant over carefully; he couldn’t find any sort of injury or bruising, but he was certain Merlin was scared. This wasn’t about some sort of folly or some mistake on Merlin’s behalf, no, Merlin was frightened of something… or maybe of someone.

Arthur released the other man, stood up and left the tub, took up a towel and started to dry himself. He then went over to one of his armoires and pulled out some pants and a tunic. His glance never left Merlin due to the fact that his manservant still looked like he would flee any moment. After putting the clothes on, the prince went over to the other man, took his arm and dragged him to the big chair with the fur over it.

“Here, sit down.”

Merlin sat. His eyes were glued to the table and Arthur noticed that Merlin was actually trembling.

“Merlin, why don’t you tell me what happened? I can see something’s wrong.”

Silence.

“Don’t you trust me?”

Merlin looked up at Arthur, and for a moment the prince thought he would get an answer. Merlin bit his lips but then suddenly his gaze fell away again and he drew up his shoulders. He said with a hoarse voice, “of course I trust you, Arthur. It’s nothing, really. But thanks for asking.”

“I can’t help you when you don’t tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, Merlin, you can…”

His manservant interrupted him.

“I’m fine, Arthur. I don’t need any help,” he rasped. “Is there something else I can do for you, sire?”

Arthur looked hard at Merlin for a few seconds, then he straightened.

“No, I won’t need you this afternoon. But be ready to serve me at dinner tonight in the throne room.”

“Very well, sire.”

Arthur continued to stare at the door long after Merlin had left.

~ ~ ~

Don’t you trust me? Arthur’s words were ringing in Merlin’s ears while he stood behind the prince waiting for the second course. The afternoon had flown by while Merlin had sat on the bed in his room, turning those words around and around in his head. The sorcerer had thought about telling Arthur everything… but even in the best case when Arthur wouldn’t have been angry about being lied at for about a year, even if he would have been understanding and accepting… what could Arthur do? Merlin knew what would happen if Sir Thomas told the King about him being a warlock. Uther would kill him on the spot, no matter what Arthur would say or do. When Arthur would speak up for Merlin, the King would only assume that he, Merlin, had somehow enchanted his son. And that would mean torture for Merlin, to lift the spell. No, there was no way out.

Merlin threw a glance over at the other table where Sir Thomas was seated. Gods. Everything in him recoiled by the thought of being near this man, let alone doing… things with him. Merlin felt sick to his stomach. He only had about three hours left and then… and then…

~ ~ ~

Morgana leaned over to Arthur and whispered in his left ear. “Gods, I hate this man.”

Arthur, who had pushed the food around his plate for about ten minutes now, looked up at her.

“What are you talking about?”

“This creep Thomas. He has been staring at us the whole evening. I wonder what he is up to.”

“If I were you, I would lower my voice, Morgana,” Arthur said with a quick glance to his father. Thankfully, the King wasn’t paying any attention to them. “Maybe he likes the dress you wear tonight.”

Morgana stamped on his foot under the table. “I didn’t say he’s staring at me, idiot,” she hissed. “I said he is staring at us, in a most nasty way.”

“Just ignore him. He wouldn’t dare to lay a hand on you, so don’t worry.”

Morgana stamped on his foot again.

“Ow, dammit, stop that,” Arthur growled.

“As if I’m concerned about myself, you moron. I could kill this half wit in a second.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you could. You could just trample him down with those shoes of yours.”

“I would just slit his throat with one of my knives, Arthur,” Morgana replied. “Still, I wonder what’s on his mind. He is even creepier than usual tonight. Did Merlin say something to you about him?”

Now Morgana had the full attention of the prince. “Merlin? Why Merlin?”

“I saw him this morning with Thomas.“

“Where?”

“Just outside the castle… Why? What is going on?”

“Believe me, I wish I knew.”

“Tell me what…”

“Morgana.”

The dark haired woman startled and looked at the King.

“Yes, my Lord?”

“Is everything alright with your food, my dear?” Uther asked in a mild voice. “You haven’t eaten much.”

“The food is excellent, my Lord, as always. But you know, I don’t enjoy fish as much as you do.”

“But you should. Gaius always tells me…”

Arthur stopped paying attention to his father and Morgana. Beneath his lashes, he started to watch Sir Thomas. Beside him, Merlin laid out the second course, venison, for the prince. Arthur noticed immediately that Morgana had been wrong. Thomas wasn’t watching Morgana and him, the knight was watching Merlin.

***

Arthur lay down in his freshly made bed, observing Merlin blowing out candles all over his room. To say Merlin looked deathly ill would have been an understatement. His manservant stumbled around Arthur’s quarters like he was drunk, barely able to stay on his feet. His face was ghostly pale and his eyes were dark and huge.

Arthur had trouble keeping his mouth shut. He knew it would be useless to ask Merlin any questions right now; his servant would probably jump out of the window if he heard one word coming from him.

Inwardly, the prince seethed. He could imagine all too well what was going on. Sir Thomas had a certain reputation; Arthur knew that the maids and many of the male servants tried to avoid the disgusting man for a very good reason. Why his father couldn’t see this remained a mystery to the prince. The King usually didn’t condone such a behaviour at all; molesting or raping servants would be followed by a flogging at least, no matter who the attacker was. But with Thomas… well, he hadn’t been caught yet. And none of the servants would be able to report a knight, let alone the First Knight.

But this would change tonight. Thomas tried to prey on someone very dear to Arthur, and this would be his downfall. The prince just hoped his father would allow him to hold the whip.

“Arthur?”

The prince looked up at Merlin who stood before his bed.

“Do you need something else?” Merlin sounded almost painfully hopeful.

“No, thank you, Merlin. I wish you a good night. I’ll expect you here bright and early tomorrow.”

“I… yes, of course. Good… good night, Arthur.”

The prince watched Merlin leave his room like a man going to his execution. The moment the door closed behind the crestfallen man, Arthur was out of the bed. He quickly put on dark clothes; then he grabbed his sword and crept out of his room, following his manservant.

~ ~ ~

Merlin stood before the stables; his feet seemed to be rooted to the ground. For the last hour, he had tried to tell himself it would be nothing more than what he had done with Will. But he hadn’t been able to fool himself. This had nothing to do with the harmless tumbling he had going on with his late friend. This was about power, about doing harm. He didn’t know if he…

“There you are.”

Merlin jumped and turned around. Behind him, almost hidden by a hay wagon, Sir Thomas stood.

“You’re such a good little servant, aren’t you? Come here.”

Hesitating, Merlin stared at the other man. He wished he could think of something, anything, to stop this from happening. Suddenly he ached for Arthur and his protection. He should have told him everything, Gods, why hadn’t he done that? Because he couldn’t have helped you, a voice whispered in his mind. You have brought this on to you with your own stupidity, now live with the consequences.

“I said come here, boy,” Sir Thomas hissed.

Merlin swallowed and closed is eyes for a moment. Then he just went. There was nothing he could do. If he just followed the knights orders, maybe this would be over soon.

~ ~ ~

Arthur hid behind one of the stable doors and watched Merlin going over to Thomas through some kind of red haze. He was trembling all over with fury. He had known what was going on, but seeing this… seeing Merlin walking over to that bastard like some sort of sacrificial lamb… right now he wasn’t sure if Thomas would survive the night. Why Merlin hadn’t told him what was going on, Arthur still couldn’t venture a guess. The knight had something to hold over his manservant, Arthur was sure of that. But whatever it was… it couldn’t be so bad that Merlin would just allow himself to be raped, could it? Usually, Merlin was everything but cowered easily, quite the contrary in fact. Sometimes Arthur had wondered why his manservant was still alive, the way he snapped and hissed at every noble man who tried to push him around.

Arthur watched the two men enter one of the stables to his right, and went silently after them. The prince had to catch Thomas in the act, he knew that, but right now he wasn’t too sure he could wait. The thought of those disgusting hands alone, touching Merlin’s skin anywhere made bile rose in Arthur’s throat.

Entering the stable, he immediately located both men in one of the empty boxes. Gods, Thomas had actually brought a lantern with him. The bastard obviously wanted to watch. Arthur crept nearer, although he was sure he wouldn’t need to be quite so silent. He doubted Thomas would hear anything over his own harsh breathing.

Arthur saw Thomas forcing Merlin on his knees; then his left hand grabbed Merlin’s hair and his right hand started to open his pants. Arthur heard Merlin whimper quietly; and this was exactly the moment the prince snapped.

“I really wouldn’t do this if I were you,” he said in a deathly quiet voice.

Considering the effect his words had on both men, he could have yelled them. Merlin as well as Thomas froze for a moment. Then Merlin strained his neck to look at Arthur out of terrified eyes. Arthur didn’t look at him; he kept his gaze on the equally terrified looking knight.

“Prince Arthur…”

“Shut the fuck up, Thomas,” Arthur hissed. “This was a big mistake, you asshole. Maybe the biggest you ever made in your whole fucked up life.”

“Sire…”

“I said shut up! And let go of him, NOW!”

The knight unclasped the grip he still had on the dark hair, and Merlin immediately crawled away from him. He was sobbing by now and still looked horrified.

“It’s alright now, Merlin,” Arthur hushed. “It’s over.”

“Gods, Arthur, you don’t understand…”

“Yes, exactly. Prince Arthur doesn’t understand anything, does he?” Sir Thomas scoffed. “I just bet he wouldn’t be here if he did understand some things.”

“Oh, I understand, alright. I understand that you just tried to rape my manservant. Do you know what my father will say when I tell him that?”

The asshole huffed. “And do you know, my Lord, what the King will say when I will tell him that your manservant is a warlock? Huh? What do you think will happen then, sire?”

***

Arthur stared at the knight for a moment, then looked at Merlin. It was written all over him… Thomas had told the truth. This was just great. Arthur took a deep breath.

“That… changes things.”

“Oh yes, it does,” Thomas sneered. “Now maybe you would be so kind to leave us, sire?”

“I think you misunderstood me, Sir Thomas,” Arthur said coldly. “This just means you won’t have a chance to talk to my father again.”

Then several things happened simultaneously. Arthur drew his sword, Thomas backed off into the darker parts of the box, his right hand going to his side. Merlin shouted, “watch out, Arthur!” and then a knife appeared in Thomas’ hand, ready to be thrown at the prince.

Merlin yelled, “Swelt deor!” and the knife fell out of the knight’s hand. From the direction of Thomas’ neck came a cracking sound, and then the knight fell down on his back, staring with empty eyes up to the ceiling. Sir Thomas was dead.

***

Arthur stared down at the body lying in front of him. Gods in Heaven. He tried to wrap his mind around what he just had seen, but had no luck. Merlin had yelled two words and the First Knight of his father had died. Yet Arthur knew that if Merlin had kept silent, he would be dead by now. He knew very well how deadly Thomas had been with knives.

Arthur shook himself. Now was not the time to freak out. He could do that later; he had other things to do right now. He turned around to Merlin, only to find the warlock –Arthur still was close to freaking out when he thought about that- on his knees in a corner, rocking back and forth while crying silently.

The prince rushed over to the desperate man, dropping on one knee in front of him.

“Merlin? Merlin!”

His manservant didn’t look at him. He just continued to rock himself, staring straight ahead. Arthur knew shock when he saw it, but he had no time to freak out and Merlin had just no time to go into shock right now. Otherwise there would be another killing taking place tonight.

Arthur took Merlin’s face in his hands and lifted it until he could look into the other man’s eyes.

“Merlin, listen to me. You have to calm down now, I beg you!”

Merlin stared at him for awhile unseeingly, and then finally seemed to recognize him.

“Arthur?” He asked, and then he suddenly swayed towards Arthur, his hands clutching at the prince’s clothes. Arthur drew Merlin into his arms immediately, letting the other man cling tightly to him while he allowed himself to hug Merlin fiercely. They didn’t have time for that but Arthur couldn’t help it. He buried his face into the dark hair and made soft hushing sounds.

Some minutes later, Arthur began to gently withdraw. Merlin tried to clutch him even harder, but the prince shook his head.

“Not now, Merlin, later, I promise. But right now… we have to do something before a guard finds us.“

“What?”

“Listen to me. You have to run over to Gwen and tell her to send Morgana here. Tell Gwen to not come with her, she should just send Morgana with you. Do you understand me? This is important, Merlin!”

“What? Why Morgana?”

“Just do as I say. Trust me, Merlin, and do as I say.”

Merlin looked at him for a moment, then he nodded. Arthur breathed more easily at once. He helped his servant on his feet and watched him stumble out of the stable with a reassuring speed.

Then Arthur turned around and looked at the body of Sir Thomas.

~ ~ ~

Merlin stood shivering at Gwen’s hut and waited for her to return with Morgana. He was cold all over and couldn’t stop trembling. He had killed a man. Not only a man, he had killed the First Knight. Merlin bit hard on his lower lip to stop the sob he felt coming. Gods. He had killed a man like he once had killed a rat. He was a monster. He could have stopped Sir Thomas easily in another way but he hadn’t even thought of that. He had seen that knife, and images of it sticking out of Arthur’s chest had instantly haunted his thoughts.

Merlin heard quick footsteps and he turned around, wondering if he should hide somewhere. But before he could make a decision, Gwen and Morgana shot around the corner of Gwen’s hut and stopped right before him.

Morgana stared at him with a horrified expression; the young man was thankful at once that he didn’t know how he looked.

“Gods, Merlin, what happened?”

“I can’t explain right now, Morgana, Arthur said we should hurry.”

“I’m coming with you, my lady,” Gwen said.

“No!” Merlin shouted. “No, you can’t. Arthur said…”

“It’s alright, Merlin, calm down,” Morgana hushed. “I will accompany you and Gwen will stay here.” Morgana threw one glance at Gwen, and while her maid didn’t look reassured, she still nodded. “If we need something, Gwen, I’ll send for you immediately.” Morgana hugged Gwen for a minute and then followed Merlin hastely in the directions of the stables.

~ ~ ~

Arthur just drew his sword back out of Thomas’ chest for the second time when he heard someone entering the stable quickly. He turned around, relieved to see Merlin and Morgana.

“Morgana…”

“Gods in Heaven! What happened here? Is that… oh Lord.”

“Yes, that was Sir Thomas. Listen carefully, Morgana, I need your help here. You were right at dinner, the asshole was staring in our direction, but not at us, he was watching Merlin. He tried to rape him here, and by chance I came by and killed the bastard.”

Arthur saw Merlin open his mouth and threw a warning glance in his direction. His manservant swallowed whatever he had wanted to say, but looked deeply unhappy about it.

Arthur continued. “Now, as you know, I can’t tell my father I killed his First Knight over my manservant. I need you…”

“Yes, I understand. Wait a minute, I have to rip my dress a little…”

Merlin made some sound like a trapped animal. Arthur and Morgana turned around to look at him.

“What… what are you doing?” The young man whispered.

Arthur went over to him and drew him right back into his arms, ignoring the surprised sound Morgana was making.

“Hush,” he said. “Stop worrying, Merlin. We will just say that Thomas attacked Morgana… and therefore make sure my father will want to rip this bastard’s body into tiny little pieces. We won’t mention you at all. You will go to Gaius now… I doubt you will get any sleep. The King will soon send for Gaius anyway. Don’t come back here, you hear me? As soon as Gaius leaves, you’ll write him a note and then you’ll go up to my chambers and stay there. Do you understand me?”

Merlin nodded.

“Good. Now go and be careful that no one sees you.”

***

Arthur was exhausted.

The whole scenario had played out nicely, exactly as he had thought. He had to thank mostly Morgana for it… this woman could act and lie in a way Arthur would have never managed. Right now she was clinging to Uther, sobbing quietly into his cape.

Arthur’s father was out of his head with rage. The prince could see how the King wanted to kill Sir Thomas on his own all over again. Right now Uther was rambling about how he would put the knight’s head on a stake in the middle of the courtyard, as an example for everyone. He had congratulated Arthur for the quick kill and in the same sentence he had told him he wished he had spared the knight for some torture. Arthur had just nodded to everything his father had said. The prince wanted to go back to his chambers, to Merlin, but he knew he had to stay here until this whole riot calmed down.

There had been quite a scary moment when Gaius had appeared and examined Thomas. The way he had turned the knight’s head back and forth had made Arthur’s blood run cold. It was obvious that the old physician had detected the broken neck… and there had been almost no blood from the sword wounds either. But Gaius had just looked at Arthur for a short moment, went pale and then said, “well done, sire. He died almost immediately.” Then Gaius had thrown a horse blanket over the body, and had begun to calm down Morgana.

“With all respect, my Lord,” Gaius said, “I think we should spare the Lady Morgana any more time here. She should rest in her quarters now. I will send her maid…”

Arthur interrupted him. “I will send Gwen to Morgana’s chamber, Gaius. And to be honest, I would like to retire myself, too. Fighting Sir Thomas hadn’t been easy, especially considering what was at stake here.”

Morgana sobbed loudly again and threw herself into Arthur’s arms.

“Thank you, thank you again and again, Arthur! I swear I will never do such a thing again… I will let myself be accompanied by guards when I…”

Arthur hugged Morgana awkwardly while he listened to his father hushing her.

“There is no reason at all you shouldn’t go wherever you wanted inside the castle, my dear. Thanks to the Gods Arthur had been here in time.” Uther looked at his son. “I am proud of you, my son. It must had been difficult to stand against this man and kill him without getting hurt. Well done.”

Arthur found himself nodding again. He just wanted to escape from this place. There wasn’t anything to be proud of as he very well knew. If not for Merlin, he would be dead on the ground right now.

Finally the King started to lead Morgana out of the stables which meant Arthur could take his leave now, too. He started for the door and was stopped by Gaius’ hand on his arm. Turning around, the prince looked at the old man.

“What about Merlin?” Gaius whispered.

Arthur took a deep breath. “He is unharmed and in my chambers by now.”

“Take good care of him, sire.”

“I will, Gaius, I will.”

~ ~ ~

Merlin poked the wood in the fireplace some more. No matter how warm it was right in front of the flames, he couldn’t shake the cold he felt inside. The events of the night played over and over in his mind. Gods, he had been so scared. And then Arthur had appeared and… Merlin bowed his head. He could still feel the prince’s arms around him; he had wanted to crawl inside Arthur somehow and never leave again. Hell, he still wanted to do that. He wanted to forget Sir Thomas’ face above him, his hand in Merlin’s hair… and the cracking sound his neck made when Merlin had killed him.

The young warlock shivered again. Oh yes, he wished for more embraces from Arthur but he doubted he would get any. He was fairly sure Arthur wouldn’t hurt him but everything else… Merlin had no idea. He didn’t know how Arthur would react to the fact that his manservant was a sorcerer. By now, the prince had had some time to think this over… and even in the first moment after the knight had died, Merlin had seen fear in Arthur’s eyes. It could very well be that Arthur would demand that Merlin leave Camelot.

Merlin swept away his tears impatiently. For one night, he had certainly bawled enough. When Arthur appeared, Merlin wanted to be settled, at least a little. He wasn’t some girl clutching to her hero’s legs, even if said hero didn’t want her anymore. That image made him sob some more. Gods, get a grip, idiot, he thought. After all, he had been saved, nothing bad had happened to him, thanks to Arthur. He should count himself lucky instead of feeling morose.

Suddenly, he heard the very distinctive footsteps of Arthur in the hall and then the door behind him opened. Panic set in immediately. That was too early… he had no idea yet how he should face the prince.

~ ~ ~

Arthur closed the door behind him and looked at the man sitting in front of the fire, his back to him. He leaned back on the door and watched Merlin for awhile but his manservant didn’t make any move to turn around or to acknowledge his presence in any way.

The prince sighed heavily and straightened; then he went over to the fireplace and sat down beside Merlin. He had no idea what to say and after he threw a quick glance at the other man, he was sure Merlin didn’t know either. His manservant still looked terrible, pale, with red-rimmed eyes and a desolate expression.

Arthur drew his knees up to his chest, rested his arms on top of them until he was in the same position as Merlin, and then stared into the flames himself for a moment. The prince knew he wasn’t exactly good at comforting someone; hell, he had no idea how to do that at all. But he had the feeling some TLC was called for right now. To say he felt uncomfortable about that would have been an understatement.

Finally Arthur leaned slightly against Merlin, knocked shoulders with him and said, “hey.” He cursed himself inwarldly at once. Gods, he was awful at this stuff. But Merlin obviously didn’t think that at all. He uncurled and looked at Arthur with huge eyes.

“Hey,” Merlin said quietly.

Now, Arthur resented that. Why did Merlin’s ‘hey’ sound perfect and his own ‘hey’ sounded ridiculous? Maybe he really shouldn’t overanalyze this. Gods.

“How are you doing?” Arthur asked.

Merlin watched him intensly for a few seconds. For what he was searching, Arthur had no idea. He just looked back, praying he didn’t look like an idiot. Suddenly, Merlin seemed to relax at least a little. Wow, something had worked. Maybe it was the best course of action to keep his mouth shut and to just look at the other man. Perhaps he should try out some smiling.

Now that was awesome. Arthur’s smile got him a lapful of clinging Merlin, which felt.. good. Very good. The prince clutched back tightly.

After a few minutes of hugging, Arthur had quite a few things on his mind to say or ask, but he didn’t dare. This hugging thing felt too good and he would kick himself if he destroyed that amazing feeling with some stupid words. So he just kept his cheek on the dark hair and stroked gently over Merlin’s back. The man in his arms relaxed more and more, until Merlin finally sighed and looked up at Arthur. Now, the prince was very sure he shouldn’t stare at Merlin’s mouth. First off, after what almost had happened this night, it just wasn’t right. Secondly, Arthur had much practice at not staring at Merlin’s lips. Much practice. But he didn’t seem to be able to stop. He saw Merlin’s head resting at his right arm and saw those amazing lips moving. Which meant…

“What?”

Merlin smiled a little. “I just said… you don’t seem to be afraid.”

If Arthur had a free hand he would have scratched his head. He had the feeling he had missed a whole conversation here.

“Afraid? Of what?”

“Of me.” Merlin looked down for a moment, but immediately glanced back at Arthur, as if he couldn’t help it.

By now Arthur was certain he had missed something. Merlin’s lips could do such things to him. He once had missed an entire conversation with Morgana because he was staring at his manservant; he still had some bruises to show for that.

“Merlin, I think you have lost me somehow. Why should I be afraid of you?”

“Well, that whole being a warlock thing…”

Ah.

“Nah. I mean, it was a little scary to see that bastard go down that fast, but really, it was more impressive than scary,” Arthur said. “It’s just… well, I had a little time to think…”

Whoa. Wrong thing to say. Merlin tensed all over in his arms again. But Arthur had no choice, so he just rambled on.

“… um, it’s embarrassing for me, you know? I have the feeling I was proud of quite a few things I really shouldn’t have been proud of? Because you had helped me out all over? Like Valliant? Or that thing down in the water reservoir? Or…” Arthur stopped when Merlin laid one finger over his lips.

His manservant shook his head. “No, Arthur, I may have helped, but nothing could have been done without you. You are a great warrior, and incredibly brave…”

“Oh I beg to differ. Alright, of course I’m brave, I mean I have to be, but you… a sorcerer, working as my personal manservant at Camelot? I don’t think it gets any braver than you are.”

Merlin smiled the most beautiful smile Arthur had ever seen. And this smile was for him. He got a little lightheaded. Merlin watched him for awhile, a curious expression in his eyes. He then settled down more comfortable in Arthur’s arms and lap and relaxed completely. The fantastic smile was still on his lips.

“So,” Merlin said after some time. “You saved me tonight. Don’t you think I owe you some kind of token… maybe a kiss?”

Arthur swallowed. “Merlin, you… you owe me nothing. It had been as a matter of course that…”

“Arthur, would you please stop being an idiot? What do you want me to do? Should I wave some kind of banner above my head?”

Arthur stared. He still stared when he felt Merlin’s hand on his neck drawing him down. He stared until his eyes crossed and he felt Merlin’s lips on his own. Then he closed his eyes. What followed, was the most fantastic, sweetest kiss Arthur could have imagined.

After some breathless moments, the two men separated slowly. Arthur heart was racing in his chest and he fervently wished to move things to the bed right behind him; but, as always, Merlin had other ideas. His manservant leaned back into his arms and said, “well, who would have thought I get the hero in the end?”

Arthur laughed quietly. After all, that line really belonged to him..

The End.

Merlin / Arthur Picspam.

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 16:07:51 GMT

Random. Totally random.

Wheeeeeeeeee!

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:47:04 GMT

nicci_mac made a title artwork for my story 'Aftermath' !!! And look, she even made an icon! *wibbles and bounces like crazy*

I am sooooooooooo happy!!! *bounces away*

Merlin Fic: Aftermath

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 13:32:42 GMT

Title: Aftermath
Summary: Arthur gets his flowers
Warning/Spoiler: Slash, First Time, Humour, Episode related, Spoilers for Season One and Two (especially Ep 03), Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur.
Word Count: 850
Disclaimer: The show and all characters are owned by the BBC. This is just for fun.

I would like to thank again my awesome beta kelsrealm . Not only that she did a brilliant job as always, she is also an amazing person who is willing to put up with me and my writing and I know that's not easy, lol! All mistakes are my own.

Amazing artwork by nicci_mac

Aftermath

After Merlin went to bed, still in deep thought about Morgana, he found himself restless and unable to sleep. His body was exhausted from all that running through the woods, and the fear that Arthur would recognize or –worse- catch him, lingered. Merlin turned over onto his left side, touching his right shoulder with his hand. The spot where Arthur’s hand had kind of massaged him still seemed to be very hot. Affections for Morgana, my ass, Merlin thought. Arthur was so stupid.

Merlin sighed, removing his hand. He was behaving like a love-sick girl these days. Why the prince couldn’t see it, the sorcerer had no idea. Oh wait, Arthur had always thought that he was in love with Gwen and that he was now in love with Morgana. The prince didn’t seem to realize that Merlin never stumbled over his words with the girls, and always made an ass out of himself when he was speaking to Arthur.

Still… in all the panic and mayhem in the last two days one weird thing had happened. Merlin couldn’t remember it properly because on that day he had desperately tried to take a look at the scroll with the suspects; but he could still recall Arthur’s strange speech about the flowers Merlin had given Morgana – or Gwen. Something about when he –Arthur- would get some flowers, some kind of token, from Merlin.

Well, one could blame it on the late hour or on some giddiness, but Merlin suddenly stood up again. Arthur had wanted flowers; now he would get them.

***

One hour later, Merlin was standing in front of Arthur’s chambers with the ugliest bunch of flowers he had ever seen. It had been very dark outside Camelot. Very, very dark. Merlin stared again at the ‘bouquet’ made out of lots of thistles and –Gods- even a nettle. At least the nettle was in bloom. Anyway, it wasn’t as if Arthur had earned a nice bouquet; he would just have to deal with this one.

Silently unlocking the door, Merlin crept in. The curtains on the large bed were drawn close and there was utter silence in the room. Merlin smiled and quickly put the flowers in the prince’s water jug. There was no need for Arthur to actually see that his manservant was responsible for that mess. Merlin suppressed a giggle and arranged the flowers a bit, making the nettle more prominent. Then he turned around to the door to make a quick escape and froze where he stood. Arthur leaned against said door and watched him with an unreadable expression.

“Er…” Merlin said, and immediately cursed himself. There was the stumbling again.

The prince raised an eyebrow.

“Er…,” Merlin repeated. Then he rallied a bit. “You said you wanted flowers, didn’t you? Some love token from me?” Merlin shut his mouth very quickly after that. What was he thinking? Obviously nothing; he either put his foot in his mouth –and this time he put both feet and a hand in there, or he stuttered around.

Arthur continued to look at him, head cocked to one side. He then slunk over to Merlin, looked at the flowers and said, “this is your idea of a love token, Merlin? That actually explains a lot.”

“I think it’s quite adequate for you, my Lord. Are you disappointed?”

“Quite a lot.” Arthur plucked the thistles for a while and finally draw one of them out of the jug. “On the other hand, this one is beautiful.” He lifted the thistle and started to comb the flower through Merlin’s hair.

Merlin didn’t move but tried to swallow with a very dry throat. The thistle was beautiful… or something else? He was very aware how close the prince suddenly was. Maybe studying his own shoes for awhile would be the best course of action now.

After some seconds, Merlin looked up again and whoa! Arthur was even closer now, still petting Merlin’s hair and still with that strange expression in his very dark eyes.

“Don’t you think, Merlin, that with some things you have to look real close to reveal they’re beautiful?”

“Isn’t there a saying that beauty was found within?” Merlin rambled and felt himself blushing. Great, that was exactly something a girl would say. “Er…”

Arthur, who was really damn close now, glanced at him incredulously for a moment. He started to smile a little and asked, “is that so?” Then he closed the rest of the distance between them by leaning forward and pressing his lips to Merlin’s mouth.

Merlin was absolutely okay with that. Absolutely. A second later, Arthur made some sort of “umph” and landed with his back on the table, his enthusiastic manservant on top of him. And not even the crash of the jug, the following stream of water or the stinging of the nettle stopped them.

***

Merlin found out it was a bitch to get thistles out of his hair.

Arthur found out that no one said anything when he started wearing thistles on his armour while fighting in tournaments.

The End.

Wheee! Again!

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:14:56 GMT

http://community.livejournal.com/merlinpodfic/11862.html